A review by vangluss
Off Limits: Tales of Alien Sex by Ellen Datlow
4.0
Anthologies are a tricky thing to touch for anybody, especially reviewers. The quote, "One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel," applies to many anthologies I have read. When reviewing anthologies, it would be realistic for me to judge the stories on an individual basis. Trust me, reality does ensure. Trying to read an anthology of swingy quality is like trying to eat a cherry pie where every other delicious slice is filled with granite pebbles disguised as cherries: It leaves a broken, bloody taste in your mouth.
Off Limits isn't like that. Out of the twenty stories in this book, I can easily say only two are likely to disappoint, and the second story I disliked probably wasn't my personal cup of tea. Like it says on the tin, these stories are just as varied as they are whacked out, which is “very.” You got far-future, near future, something future, and all the goodness in between only speculative fiction can provide.
One thing that bothered me was the title versus its contents, though. I only expected pages of naughty aliens getting intimate with each other and humans. Instead, I got that and a lot more extra. Sometimes too much more extra. In short: Sometimes you get the aliens, and sometimes you get “the alien” where things are weird and often uncomfortable.
Now to begin.
The 1st: The Reality Trip by Robert Silverberg. This one is a charming, funny, and lighthearted start to the book. In it, a socially stunted alien infiltrator in NY gets dotted on by a weirdo poet girl. Interestings things like polyamory occur.
The 2nd: The Tattooist by Susan Wade. This one is a wondeful examination of body image, the intimacy of tattoos, and changing tastes. Lots of character development in this piece.
The 3rd: Dolly Sodom by John Kaine. A noir-inspired piece with lots o’ hair. This one had an rich sense of surrealism to me. The atmosphere of forbidden desires is well done and abstract. Still, I didn’t “get” this one.
The 4th: The Blue Lucifer of Blue by Sherry Coldsmith. The only part I liked about this one was the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War for the story (Hail Catalonia!). Other than that, this one could’ve done better. A lot better. This story in a nutshell: A bunch of horrible, unexplained things happen and the average protagonist with a forgettable voice goes back home as if nothing happened. I felt bad after reading this one.
The 5th: The Queen of the Apocalypse by Scott Bradfield. A sickly-sweet interspecies romance story for the ages. Weird meets terrible with interesting results in this story. A too-patient-for-this-world alien meets an abused woman with a taste for maried men. Not sure if this story bordered on “magical healing cock” territory, but even if it did, it did so in a sensitive, alien way.
The 6th: Oral by Richard Christian Matheson. Very short, mostly dialogue. This one is an intimate conversation of a short story. It’s all about sensations and touch. I want to steal all the imagery in this story and cram into my skull forever. It’s so rich.
The 7th: Grand Prix by Simon Ings. Those Frenchies and their academia, beatnik cultures, and biopunk racing cars. One of the more uncomfortable pieces that still manage to be relatable. Get through the odd characters in their dystopian world, and you’ll reward yourself with a cheeky ending.
The 8th: The House of Mourning by Brian Stableford. Hey, another biopunk story. This is one of those “technology goes wrong” sci-fi stories with a sexually-charged twist. One thing I wanted out of this story was to see how the MC’s family dealt with their daughter turning herself into a literal mistake. Excellent, sensitive portrayal of a prostitute with a whacked-out body.
The 9th: Fetish by Martha Soukup. After a nasty, break-up, a scorned woman decides to grow a beard. Why? I’m not sure, but reading this piece as a character reclaiming their body as their own makes it a satisfying weird. A minor nitpick is that this story had minimal sci-fi influences beyond a relatively normal woman growing a beard through existing technology.
The 10th: Red Sonja and Lessingham in Dreamland by Gwyneth Jones. A somber piece about intimacy in the digital age, escapism, and killing virtual bandits with your dreamy scholar-warrior traveling companion. Enjoyable, but I’m not sure what (or if there is one) message I should’ve taken from the ending.
The 11th: The Future of Birds by Mike O’ Driscoll. City of God meets Tangerine. But for real, this one is by far the most disturbing and visceral story of this collection. So much graphic sex and violence wrapped in a story of desperation. The usage of birds in cages as a symbol is painfully beautiful. This one made me want to cry a little. Mildly weird treatment and portrayal of trans issues as a whole, but the MC is handled with a deft hand
The 12th: Captain China by Bruce McAllister. Nothing like a one-two punch of raw emotions to my stomach. This one is fucked. Really really fucked. Never have I wanted to get into a story so badly to hug the protag while feeding them homemade soup. I had to catch my breath after reading this one.
The 13th: Background: The Dream by Lisa Tuttle. Not really a short story per-se, but a weird peep into somebody’s dream. The Freudian elements were on point.
The 14th: Aye, and Gomorrah by Samuel R. Delany. The hallmark of an excellent short story is ability to say a lot with a little. Delany does this with a small cast consisting of a gender-bender astronaut and a weird girl part of a community that adores said gender-bender astronauts. The interpretations one can extract from this story are endless. Every line of dialogue felt meaningful. Probably one of the best stories in this book.
The 15th: Ursus Triad, Later by Kathe Koja & Barry N. Malzberg. This is one of those slices of cherry pie filled with disguised pebbles. Good points: This was the purest example of xeno-fiction in this entire book. It’s from the viewpoint of a female bear who gets funky with it. That’s new to me. Bad Points: Good God, did the writing style of this story get old. The confusing, overly dense purple prose is terrible. I didn’t understand what was going on at all, so I decided to skip the story. Simple as that.
The 16th: Sextraterrestrials by Joe Haldeman and Jane Yolen. Painfully cheesy title aside, this piece wasn’t a story, but instead a collection of short poems written with strict rules. These rules led to some funny, touching, and downright bawdy poetry. A nice thing to read after the previous flounder.
The 17th: The Dream-Catcher by Joyce Carol Oates. This piece took more of an urban fantasty approach. An odd but accepted turn of events in a mostly sci-fi based anthology. I didn’t understand most of the MC’s action through the story, but they were entertaining to read. Another thing that bothered me are the funky racial portrayals. I’m not saying Oates is a racist or anything like that, but this piece made me uncomfortable at times. All in all, its an okay piece.
The 18th: His Angel by Roberta Lannes. What is a weird anthology without a serial killer piece? Nothing, so Lannes comes in to prevent that nasty fate. I wanted more character out of the dubious “angel” of this story. This one had a nice Southern gothic feel to it despite having overt supernatural entities.
The 19th: Eaten (Scenes from a Moving Picture) by Neil Gaiman. Another piece that wasn’t a short story. Instead, we have ourselves a profoundly disturbing script to a movie I’d pay to see - twice. Seriously, this is some Clive Barker tier material. I had to double check if Gaiman really wrote this. There’s a vague plot of a man looking for his lost sister, and things go off the rails and straight into some hellish beast’s mouth. Side note: I’m one hundred percent certain that Gaiman has a fetish for men being consumed by women now.
The 20th: In the Month of Athyr by Elizabeth Hand. A fitting end to an excellent anthology. It seems to take many aspects from the previous stories and fit them neatly into a mish-mash of emotions. I ached with nostalgia while reading this piece. The ending made me say, “Ah, come on,” in a good way. The treatment of trans issues in this one felt a bit off, though. The exposition dumps could’ve been worse.
Off Limits isn't like that. Out of the twenty stories in this book, I can easily say only two are likely to disappoint, and the second story I disliked probably wasn't my personal cup of tea. Like it says on the tin, these stories are just as varied as they are whacked out, which is “very.” You got far-future, near future, something future, and all the goodness in between only speculative fiction can provide.
One thing that bothered me was the title versus its contents, though. I only expected pages of naughty aliens getting intimate with each other and humans. Instead, I got that and a lot more extra. Sometimes too much more extra. In short: Sometimes you get the aliens, and sometimes you get “the alien” where things are weird and often uncomfortable.
Now to begin.
The 1st: The Reality Trip by Robert Silverberg. This one is a charming, funny, and lighthearted start to the book. In it, a socially stunted alien infiltrator in NY gets dotted on by a weirdo poet girl. Interestings things like polyamory occur.
The 2nd: The Tattooist by Susan Wade. This one is a wondeful examination of body image, the intimacy of tattoos, and changing tastes. Lots of character development in this piece.
The 3rd: Dolly Sodom by John Kaine. A noir-inspired piece with lots o’ hair. This one had an rich sense of surrealism to me. The atmosphere of forbidden desires is well done and abstract. Still, I didn’t “get” this one.
The 4th: The Blue Lucifer of Blue by Sherry Coldsmith. The only part I liked about this one was the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War for the story (Hail Catalonia!). Other than that, this one could’ve done better. A lot better. This story in a nutshell: A bunch of horrible, unexplained things happen and the average protagonist with a forgettable voice goes back home as if nothing happened. I felt bad after reading this one.
The 5th: The Queen of the Apocalypse by Scott Bradfield. A sickly-sweet interspecies romance story for the ages. Weird meets terrible with interesting results in this story. A too-patient-for-this-world alien meets an abused woman with a taste for maried men. Not sure if this story bordered on “magical healing cock” territory, but even if it did, it did so in a sensitive, alien way.
The 6th: Oral by Richard Christian Matheson. Very short, mostly dialogue. This one is an intimate conversation of a short story. It’s all about sensations and touch. I want to steal all the imagery in this story and cram into my skull forever. It’s so rich.
The 7th: Grand Prix by Simon Ings. Those Frenchies and their academia, beatnik cultures, and biopunk racing cars. One of the more uncomfortable pieces that still manage to be relatable. Get through the odd characters in their dystopian world, and you’ll reward yourself with a cheeky ending.
The 8th: The House of Mourning by Brian Stableford. Hey, another biopunk story. This is one of those “technology goes wrong” sci-fi stories with a sexually-charged twist. One thing I wanted out of this story was to see how the MC’s family dealt with their daughter turning herself into a literal mistake. Excellent, sensitive portrayal of a prostitute with a whacked-out body.
The 9th: Fetish by Martha Soukup. After a nasty, break-up, a scorned woman decides to grow a beard. Why? I’m not sure, but reading this piece as a character reclaiming their body as their own makes it a satisfying weird. A minor nitpick is that this story had minimal sci-fi influences beyond a relatively normal woman growing a beard through existing technology.
The 10th: Red Sonja and Lessingham in Dreamland by Gwyneth Jones. A somber piece about intimacy in the digital age, escapism, and killing virtual bandits with your dreamy scholar-warrior traveling companion. Enjoyable, but I’m not sure what (or if there is one) message I should’ve taken from the ending.
The 11th: The Future of Birds by Mike O’ Driscoll. City of God meets Tangerine. But for real, this one is by far the most disturbing and visceral story of this collection. So much graphic sex and violence wrapped in a story of desperation. The usage of birds in cages as a symbol is painfully beautiful. This one made me want to cry a little. Mildly weird treatment and portrayal of trans issues as a whole, but the MC is handled with a deft hand
The 12th: Captain China by Bruce McAllister. Nothing like a one-two punch of raw emotions to my stomach. This one is fucked. Really really fucked. Never have I wanted to get into a story so badly to hug the protag while feeding them homemade soup. I had to catch my breath after reading this one.
The 13th: Background: The Dream by Lisa Tuttle. Not really a short story per-se, but a weird peep into somebody’s dream. The Freudian elements were on point.
The 14th: Aye, and Gomorrah by Samuel R. Delany. The hallmark of an excellent short story is ability to say a lot with a little. Delany does this with a small cast consisting of a gender-bender astronaut and a weird girl part of a community that adores said gender-bender astronauts. The interpretations one can extract from this story are endless. Every line of dialogue felt meaningful. Probably one of the best stories in this book.
The 15th: Ursus Triad, Later by Kathe Koja & Barry N. Malzberg. This is one of those slices of cherry pie filled with disguised pebbles. Good points: This was the purest example of xeno-fiction in this entire book. It’s from the viewpoint of a female bear who gets funky with it. That’s new to me. Bad Points: Good God, did the writing style of this story get old. The confusing, overly dense purple prose is terrible. I didn’t understand what was going on at all, so I decided to skip the story. Simple as that.
The 16th: Sextraterrestrials by Joe Haldeman and Jane Yolen. Painfully cheesy title aside, this piece wasn’t a story, but instead a collection of short poems written with strict rules. These rules led to some funny, touching, and downright bawdy poetry. A nice thing to read after the previous flounder.
The 17th: The Dream-Catcher by Joyce Carol Oates. This piece took more of an urban fantasty approach. An odd but accepted turn of events in a mostly sci-fi based anthology. I didn’t understand most of the MC’s action through the story, but they were entertaining to read. Another thing that bothered me are the funky racial portrayals. I’m not saying Oates is a racist or anything like that, but this piece made me uncomfortable at times. All in all, its an okay piece.
The 18th: His Angel by Roberta Lannes. What is a weird anthology without a serial killer piece? Nothing, so Lannes comes in to prevent that nasty fate. I wanted more character out of the dubious “angel” of this story. This one had a nice Southern gothic feel to it despite having overt supernatural entities.
The 19th: Eaten (Scenes from a Moving Picture) by Neil Gaiman. Another piece that wasn’t a short story. Instead, we have ourselves a profoundly disturbing script to a movie I’d pay to see - twice. Seriously, this is some Clive Barker tier material. I had to double check if Gaiman really wrote this. There’s a vague plot of a man looking for his lost sister, and things go off the rails and straight into some hellish beast’s mouth. Side note: I’m one hundred percent certain that Gaiman has a fetish for men being consumed by women now.
The 20th: In the Month of Athyr by Elizabeth Hand. A fitting end to an excellent anthology. It seems to take many aspects from the previous stories and fit them neatly into a mish-mash of emotions. I ached with nostalgia while reading this piece. The ending made me say, “Ah, come on,” in a good way. The treatment of trans issues in this one felt a bit off, though. The exposition dumps could’ve been worse.