A review by garbutch
Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith
3.0
I might write a better review on this later idk
I want to note for transparency & frame of reference that I'm trans. I came out in a rural area in 2011, when I was in high school. But at the time most people I tried to come out to didn't really understand what trans meant and it made it very difficult to get through to people. I'm happy to answer questions about this if anyone has any but I'll get to the other stuff I need to say.
Idk if this phrasing is actually gone into or common knowledge so
- stealth = someone is out/seen as their gender but not as trans
- deep stealth = refers to people who aren't out to their closest loved ones. This was a much more common route for binary trans people in the 80s and 90s and earlier after getting affirming surgery and hormones or whathaveyou, because they would actually have to tell other people in order to know, and that was incredibly, incredibly dangerous in ways that transcend what it currently is
- closeted = in a trans setting this means you haven't come out as either trans or the gender you are.
- ??? Lmk if I can help explain anything else but this seems like a relevant explanation for this review
While it's fresh, though, I'll note some trigger warnings.
- misgendering and on-screen deadnaming
- lots of transphobic slurs
- outing in a really violent way
- Brandon Teena style hate crime against the protagonist (minus on screen rape, but definitely sexual assault via ripping off the protagonist's shirt and then binder while he is defensless, suicidal, hoping they kill him) graphic descriptions of the experience
- some toxic masculinity BS
- descriptions of suicidal ideation
- abusive military dad
- some alcoholism in the periphery and implications of violence behind it
Some stuff I want to warn for that's not *as big a deal* but worth noting
- born in the wrong body narrative
- some BS moral obligation to come out to prospective partners as trans?? (I understand why it's good for our safety to come out early on, but I think there's this transphobic idea that there's something nefarious about it if we left it out. Deep stealth people are still people, and they aren't tricking anyone just because we live in a cissexist society. It should be on transphobes to make it clear they won't be with trans people. It shouldn't be our obligation to offer ourselves up to be hit. It isn't something to object to and it's weird that we should have to Have A Conversation like that.) Within the text it was framed as Pony lying, rather than simply living his life. He wasn't.
It's sort of framed as stealth being this moral thing, rather than Pony working through some stuff and dealing with teenage insecurity.
There was a lot of stuff in here that I think sort of speaks to an older trans person writing it. Not that it's wrong, but that I think when talking to younger trans people, I tend to translate those things differently. BUT tbh? if there were more diverse queer rep in there, a nonbinary minor character for more than a sentence or two, I probably wouldn't have gotten that vibe and just dismissed those assumptions as being more of a Rural Texas Queer thing where the education around trans people is different there.
A nice thing: The characters in this were very likeable imo
I want to note for transparency & frame of reference that I'm trans. I came out in a rural area in 2011, when I was in high school. But at the time most people I tried to come out to didn't really understand what trans meant and it made it very difficult to get through to people. I'm happy to answer questions about this if anyone has any but I'll get to the other stuff I need to say.
Idk if this phrasing is actually gone into or common knowledge so
- stealth = someone is out/seen as their gender but not as trans
- deep stealth = refers to people who aren't out to their closest loved ones. This was a much more common route for binary trans people in the 80s and 90s and earlier after getting affirming surgery and hormones or whathaveyou, because they would actually have to tell other people in order to know, and that was incredibly, incredibly dangerous in ways that transcend what it currently is
- closeted = in a trans setting this means you haven't come out as either trans or the gender you are.
- ??? Lmk if I can help explain anything else but this seems like a relevant explanation for this review
While it's fresh, though, I'll note some trigger warnings.
- misgendering and on-screen deadnaming
- lots of transphobic slurs
- outing in a really violent way
- Brandon Teena style hate crime against the protagonist (minus on screen rape, but definitely sexual assault via ripping off the protagonist's shirt and then binder while he is defensless, suicidal, hoping they kill him) graphic descriptions of the experience
- some toxic masculinity BS
- descriptions of suicidal ideation
- abusive military dad
- some alcoholism in the periphery and implications of violence behind it
Some stuff I want to warn for that's not *as big a deal* but worth noting
- born in the wrong body narrative
- some BS moral obligation to come out to prospective partners as trans?? (I understand why it's good for our safety to come out early on, but I think there's this transphobic idea that there's something nefarious about it if we left it out. Deep stealth people are still people, and they aren't tricking anyone just because we live in a cissexist society. It should be on transphobes to make it clear they won't be with trans people. It shouldn't be our obligation to offer ourselves up to be hit. It isn't something to object to and it's weird that we should have to Have A Conversation like that.) Within the text it was framed as Pony lying, rather than simply living his life. He wasn't.
It's sort of framed as stealth being this moral thing, rather than Pony working through some stuff and dealing with teenage insecurity.
There was a lot of stuff in here that I think sort of speaks to an older trans person writing it. Not that it's wrong, but that I think when talking to younger trans people, I tend to translate those things differently. BUT tbh? if there were more diverse queer rep in there, a nonbinary minor character for more than a sentence or two, I probably wouldn't have gotten that vibe and just dismissed those assumptions as being more of a Rural Texas Queer thing where the education around trans people is different there.
A nice thing: The characters in this were very likeable imo