artemis's reviews
133 reviews
The Fate of Ten by Pittacus Lore
Me, chilling on a random summer afternoon:
My brain, 4 years after finishing the book: I LET GO. TRUST IN SAM.
I swear. This is my forever favorite book from this series. That's all I have to say. I think about it all the time. Some lines from it are CARVED into my brain
My brain, 4 years after finishing the book: I LET GO. TRUST IN SAM.
I swear. This is my forever favorite book from this series. That's all I have to say. I think about it all the time. Some lines from it are CARVED into my brain
The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper
i waited for this book for some time, enough time to be scared to be disappointed. but i am not even a bit disappointed. i loved every single bit of it, and i literally finished it today, but damn, i'd read it again right now. the characters were extremely likable, and as a teenager i found it easy to relate to them (and maybe wish i was a little like them too). also, i loved the setting. i love all the science fiction stuff, but seeing a kinda-but-not-at-all science fiction book, it made me wonder. how is that gonna work? but it worked well. turns out, the families being affected by missions are just as interesting as the missions themselves.
another thing is that it's such a thought/creativity triggering book, i honestly loved that. i don't know if that's just in my case, but reading it, i had to stop many times to expand the single thoughts, single sentences in it, use my brain, think about it more. i value the author for writing something so inspiring.
and even the author's note made me cry, because i'm really out there, a teen that can truly relate to books, because they're about people just like me; gay books are becoming more and more popular, and i can be here to see it happen when so many before me couldn't. i'm thankful for that, because it's another book that i'm able to truly find myself in.
another thing is that it's such a thought/creativity triggering book, i honestly loved that. i don't know if that's just in my case, but reading it, i had to stop many times to expand the single thoughts, single sentences in it, use my brain, think about it more. i value the author for writing something so inspiring.
and even the author's note made me cry, because i'm really out there, a teen that can truly relate to books, because they're about people just like me; gay books are becoming more and more popular, and i can be here to see it happen when so many before me couldn't. i'm thankful for that, because it's another book that i'm able to truly find myself in.
Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland by Melinda DuChamp
(for legal reasons this is a joke)
Spectacular. Absorbing. Emotional. A compelling story about love, self-discovery, magnificent tits and heterosexuality (for the most part).
I hadn’t known the author before reading Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland, but I can already say that they are going to be my favorite right next to Shea Balik, the author of Purring with His Mate, Red White & Blue and many more.
I’ve never seen a story as original and engrossing as this one; it kept me occupied until the very end, every page better than the last one. That was the best form of productivity. I haven’t wasted a single second on reading that book, because every word drew me closer and closer to the characters; but let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
I felt a lot of pity for Lewis. I kind of understand him, to be honest. He’s just a guy trying to thrive in this world full of humongous cocks. And I get it! I really do. I hoped for a good ending for him. Lewis, oh dear, I wish men like you existed in our world. You’re the reason I’m gay. I fell in love with you instantly, for everything about you was beautiful. Please hmu if you are by any chance reading this, Lewis. Don’t doubt yourself. I bet you’re amazing at sex. Please hmu. I know you love Alice’s tits, but she’s not worth the amazing man that you are. I think you could be out there, you could be someone way more respected. She thinks that sex with you is bad. Come on man, give that up. Please hmu. (. Please)
Lewis was my favorite character, and I could only wish for more of him (hopefully I will get that in the rest of the books from the series that I am definitely going to read, in fact, as soon as possible.)
Alice? She had it all. Beauty, magnificent tits, pink womanhood. Her only problem, or maybe a curse, was that she thought she was into vanilla. I loved the way she was discovering herself in stages, understanding more about herself with every step along the way. That is true, and it’s what I personally love in humans - we never stop learning. We tread our path slowly, our legs hurting (like Alice’s when she orgasmed 15 times) but we keep going, keep reaching for the truth about us.
Now, let’s talk about the rabbit vibrator. I think there was one bad thing about this magnificent book about magnificent tits - I really hoped I’d get a character arc for it. If it wasn’t for the rabbit vibrator, nothing would have happened. It was crucial to the plot, for thanks to it Alice got into Wonderland (thank you Lewis for using your excellent Amazon shopping skills. Please hmu) I hoped the rabbit would be used more along the way. I wanted the rabbit to get revenge. I wanted a juicy story of redemption of the vibrator. I got only crumbs. I will miss you, white rabbit vibrator. You were important to the story, and as such will you be remembered.
Back to Alice. I would love to know where the horny potion that she drank was purchased. Was it also from Amazon? Did Lewis buy it? (Lewis, if you’re reading this please hmu.) I’d also like to know if her magnificent swelling tits made her back hurt.
Caterpillar was where it all began. Alice was scared, completely new to this, not quite ready to get out of her comfort zone - and rightfully so. Humans rarely want to get out of their comfort zones, from what I noticed in my research. But Caterpillar showed her how it all works, and I’m extremely grateful for that guy. Also I loved how he shaved Alice’s pussy, although I felt sorry for her when some dumb fucks called her a slut. Fuck y’all with all my heart. Croquet is a sport for intelligent and open-minded people, y’all shouldn’t have a right to play it if you’re going to shame women. Fuck you. I think I’m just going to jump to the furries, for they were the most essential plot point to me. I love the furry community, even though I am not a part of it. I like that Alice was educated about the furry community, we all love the furry community. I wouldn’t tell I am a furry myself, but I love that I had someone I could so strongly relate to even though I definitely am not a furry myself. Thank you for adding that to the plot, Author. The furry community is grateful. (Lewis, if you want to rave to Caramelldansen while wearing a cowsuit matching my foxsuit, please hmu.)
I think that another thing worth mentioning is Alice’s magnificent tits, something that I definitely haven’t mentioned before and that was definitely not talked about enough in the book, but I’ll leave that one out because I think Lewis’s cock was more magnificent than some tits. (Lewis, please hmu. We can buy a sex swing from Amazon.)
My favorite quote was, “Your cock belongs to me. You shall only come when I allow it. First, you shall satisfy my needs,” because I love chickens. Sometimes before falling asleep I wonder if chickens came from dinosaurs and what impact it would have on the economy. And Lewis’s cock is the best chicken under the sun. I wish I could touch it, stroke it, feel it.
I think that’s all that I wanted to discuss. I really do hope that in the next part, that I am definitely about to read, the white bunny vibrator will get a redemption arc, and Lewis will break up with Alice and hmu instead. (Lewis, please hmu if you’re reading this at any given point in the future after I wrote this review please hmu it can even be years. Please, I am in love with you and I am afraid I will never stop being in love with you. Please hmu.)
I will leave you with a quote: “She’d lost count of how man she’d had.”
Farewell.
Spectacular. Absorbing. Emotional. A compelling story about love, self-discovery, magnificent tits and heterosexuality (for the most part).
I hadn’t known the author before reading Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland, but I can already say that they are going to be my favorite right next to Shea Balik, the author of Purring with His Mate, Red White & Blue and many more.
I’ve never seen a story as original and engrossing as this one; it kept me occupied until the very end, every page better than the last one. That was the best form of productivity. I haven’t wasted a single second on reading that book, because every word drew me closer and closer to the characters; but let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
I felt a lot of pity for Lewis. I kind of understand him, to be honest. He’s just a guy trying to thrive in this world full of humongous cocks. And I get it! I really do. I hoped for a good ending for him. Lewis, oh dear, I wish men like you existed in our world. You’re the reason I’m gay. I fell in love with you instantly, for everything about you was beautiful. Please hmu if you are by any chance reading this, Lewis. Don’t doubt yourself. I bet you’re amazing at sex. Please hmu. I know you love Alice’s tits, but she’s not worth the amazing man that you are. I think you could be out there, you could be someone way more respected. She thinks that sex with you is bad. Come on man, give that up. Please hmu. (. Please)
Lewis was my favorite character, and I could only wish for more of him (hopefully I will get that in the rest of the books from the series that I am definitely going to read, in fact, as soon as possible.)
Alice? She had it all. Beauty, magnificent tits, pink womanhood. Her only problem, or maybe a curse, was that she thought she was into vanilla. I loved the way she was discovering herself in stages, understanding more about herself with every step along the way. That is true, and it’s what I personally love in humans - we never stop learning. We tread our path slowly, our legs hurting (like Alice’s when she orgasmed 15 times) but we keep going, keep reaching for the truth about us.
Now, let’s talk about the rabbit vibrator. I think there was one bad thing about this magnificent book about magnificent tits - I really hoped I’d get a character arc for it. If it wasn’t for the rabbit vibrator, nothing would have happened. It was crucial to the plot, for thanks to it Alice got into Wonderland (thank you Lewis for using your excellent Amazon shopping skills. Please hmu) I hoped the rabbit would be used more along the way. I wanted the rabbit to get revenge. I wanted a juicy story of redemption of the vibrator. I got only crumbs. I will miss you, white rabbit vibrator. You were important to the story, and as such will you be remembered.
Back to Alice. I would love to know where the horny potion that she drank was purchased. Was it also from Amazon? Did Lewis buy it? (Lewis, if you’re reading this please hmu.) I’d also like to know if her magnificent swelling tits made her back hurt.
Caterpillar was where it all began. Alice was scared, completely new to this, not quite ready to get out of her comfort zone - and rightfully so. Humans rarely want to get out of their comfort zones, from what I noticed in my research. But Caterpillar showed her how it all works, and I’m extremely grateful for that guy. Also I loved how he shaved Alice’s pussy, although I felt sorry for her when some dumb fucks called her a slut. Fuck y’all with all my heart. Croquet is a sport for intelligent and open-minded people, y’all shouldn’t have a right to play it if you’re going to shame women. Fuck you. I think I’m just going to jump to the furries, for they were the most essential plot point to me. I love the furry community, even though I am not a part of it. I like that Alice was educated about the furry community, we all love the furry community. I wouldn’t tell I am a furry myself, but I love that I had someone I could so strongly relate to even though I definitely am not a furry myself. Thank you for adding that to the plot, Author. The furry community is grateful. (Lewis, if you want to rave to Caramelldansen while wearing a cowsuit matching my foxsuit, please hmu.)
I think that another thing worth mentioning is Alice’s magnificent tits, something that I definitely haven’t mentioned before and that was definitely not talked about enough in the book, but I’ll leave that one out because I think Lewis’s cock was more magnificent than some tits. (Lewis, please hmu. We can buy a sex swing from Amazon.)
My favorite quote was, “Your cock belongs to me. You shall only come when I allow it. First, you shall satisfy my needs,” because I love chickens. Sometimes before falling asleep I wonder if chickens came from dinosaurs and what impact it would have on the economy. And Lewis’s cock is the best chicken under the sun. I wish I could touch it, stroke it, feel it.
I think that’s all that I wanted to discuss. I really do hope that in the next part, that I am definitely about to read, the white bunny vibrator will get a redemption arc, and Lewis will break up with Alice and hmu instead. (Lewis, please hmu if you’re reading this at any given point in the future after I wrote this review please hmu it can even be years. Please, I am in love with you and I am afraid I will never stop being in love with you. Please hmu.)
I will leave you with a quote: “She’d lost count of how man she’d had.”
Farewell.