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maketeaa's reviews
230 reviews
The Centre by Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
1.0
im typically not one to leave 1 star unless a book was completely unreadable. and honestly, there was a very strong start to this one. but i think that's what made the nosedive from the midpoint even worse
there are a lot of interesting themes introduced at the beginning. spirituality, the idea of being present in the state that which you want to be reality, at what point can this presence go too far, etc etc. but also, what i was most drawn to at first, discussions around what language is and whether there is an exploitative, colonial nature to learning a language in ten days as the centre advertises. the scene that stood out to me most in respect of this was anisa getting angry at adam for learning urdu for her like that, then enjoying all the benefits in pakistan that a white person would. i thought with such a strong start, the conclusion would be like a firework show.
it was not.
we spend a total of maybe 15% of the book actually in the centre. the rest is anisa frolicking with shiba in delhi and being a shitty best friend to naima with quite literally zero consequences. not to mention that the only extent to which the languages actually played a role in her life was the way they expanded her career, but as soon as she mastered one she just got bored and moved onto something else. which, id like to clarify, would be something VERY commentary-worthy. and while this book certainly did not lack in commentary, the commentary seemed to be about whatever the fuck seemed to pop into siddiqui's mind rather than anything that's actually connected through the book.
and that's the difficult and disappointinf thing for me. siddiqui makes some really interesting points about colonisation, about diaspora, about the memories our bodies hold and our connection with our ancestral lineage. lines exploring things like how 'unwelcoming' english grandeur feels, or how while our body can take a plane to a different country our souls must walk -- they are SO profound, but the rest of the book is so nonsensically organised that it feels like they just sit in a void. which lowkey makes me more mad. siddiqui clearly has the capacity to think deeply about the symbolism of what she's writing but just refuses to put the effort into synthesising it into an actual, structured, focused book.
also, on a more surface level, the whole concept of the centre is just. not. convincing. i buddy read this with a friend and we have frequently discussed the mastery of mona awad's metaphorical writing, and that's what we were expecting in this. some kind of justification for the horror -- not to bring up mona awad again, but, for example, the idea of 'plot bunnies' becoming deformed if not created out of genuine creative love. but like, why on earth would you need to learn a language through listening to a native speaker talk for 24/7 and then. fucken. CANNIBALISING THEM?? it makes zero sense. or, rather, there is definitely something in there that COULD'VE made sense if given the necessary analytical treatment, but it was not. so it all just felt a bit overdramatic and unbelievable.
anyway. 1 star bcs i feel cheated and betrayed by what seemed like such an interesting premise
there are a lot of interesting themes introduced at the beginning. spirituality, the idea of being present in the state that which you want to be reality, at what point can this presence go too far, etc etc. but also, what i was most drawn to at first, discussions around what language is and whether there is an exploitative, colonial nature to learning a language in ten days as the centre advertises. the scene that stood out to me most in respect of this was anisa getting angry at adam for learning urdu for her like that, then enjoying all the benefits in pakistan that a white person would. i thought with such a strong start, the conclusion would be like a firework show.
it was not.
we spend a total of maybe 15% of the book actually in the centre. the rest is anisa frolicking with shiba in delhi and being a shitty best friend to naima with quite literally zero consequences. not to mention that the only extent to which the languages actually played a role in her life was the way they expanded her career, but as soon as she mastered one she just got bored and moved onto something else. which, id like to clarify, would be something VERY commentary-worthy. and while this book certainly did not lack in commentary, the commentary seemed to be about whatever the fuck seemed to pop into siddiqui's mind rather than anything that's actually connected through the book.
and that's the difficult and disappointinf thing for me. siddiqui makes some really interesting points about colonisation, about diaspora, about the memories our bodies hold and our connection with our ancestral lineage. lines exploring things like how 'unwelcoming' english grandeur feels, or how while our body can take a plane to a different country our souls must walk -- they are SO profound, but the rest of the book is so nonsensically organised that it feels like they just sit in a void. which lowkey makes me more mad. siddiqui clearly has the capacity to think deeply about the symbolism of what she's writing but just refuses to put the effort into synthesising it into an actual, structured, focused book.
also, on a more surface level, the whole concept of the centre is just. not. convincing. i buddy read this with a friend and we have frequently discussed the mastery of mona awad's metaphorical writing, and that's what we were expecting in this. some kind of justification for the horror -- not to bring up mona awad again, but, for example, the idea of 'plot bunnies' becoming deformed if not created out of genuine creative love. but like, why on earth would you need to learn a language through listening to a native speaker talk for 24/7 and then. fucken. CANNIBALISING THEM?? it makes zero sense. or, rather, there is definitely something in there that COULD'VE made sense if given the necessary analytical treatment, but it was not. so it all just felt a bit overdramatic and unbelievable.
anyway. 1 star bcs i feel cheated and betrayed by what seemed like such an interesting premise
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
challenging
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
i think, above all, this is a love story in the broadest way possible. it is about love interwoven with fear, in an environment where survival is not guaranteed -- or, rather, is not guaranteed to be easy. in the context of the afghan war hosseini brings together two women under the same roof in a co-wifeship, and how, despite all the differences between them, love blossoms from their shared sisterhood and desire to protect one another. allyship against their abusive husband turns into a friendship turns into what becomes a mother-daughter relationship, a sharp, tearjerking contrast from the harsh conditional tolerance the rest of the world treat these women. a quote from the beginning of the book encapsulates this story perfectly: a man's heart is not like a mother's womb. it will not stretch to accommodate for you. it will not bleed. but despite not being of each other's wombs, mariam and laila did exactly this for one another, stretched and bled until, at least through one of them, they could experience a birth into a better life.
Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal
emotional
inspiring
mysterious
medium-paced
5.0
just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
i picked this up bc was recommended for mother-daughter relationships. but what i got was so much more. this was a mystery/thriller/contemporary novel that derived it all from the intricacies of the dyasporic punjabi community of southall. you are tugged into this mini-punjab on the outskirts of london, the sense of a place where everyone knows each other, and the tensions that arise from that. but most of all, you are tugged into the small classroom in the gurdwara with nikki and the widows, and the heartwarming exploration of these women, so often seen as invisible, of their sexuality, their empowerment through their bonding and discovering their own creative voices.
i picked this up bc was recommended for mother-daughter relationships. but what i got was so much more. this was a mystery/thriller/contemporary novel that derived it all from the intricacies of the dyasporic punjabi community of southall. you are tugged into this mini-punjab on the outskirts of london, the sense of a place where everyone knows each other, and the tensions that arise from that. but most of all, you are tugged into the small classroom in the gurdwara with nikki and the widows, and the heartwarming exploration of these women, so often seen as invisible, of their sexuality, their empowerment through their bonding and discovering their own creative voices.
Cows by Matthew Stokoe
Did not finish book. Stopped at 31%.
Did not finish book. Stopped at 31%.
dnf at 59 pages, i read while eating and it was the shit on a plate that did it for me
Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
4.75
i ADORED the first few stories -- the head literally made me GASP. there is something so unique about asian horror that's very different to western, in that a lot of it is based on very simple, routine things in life getting very fucked up (rabi thakur does this really well too in his short stories!) but bora chung takes it to a whole new level in some of the stories in this collection. her horror isn't horror for the sake of shock value, but to dig into the deep repugnance we have for certain things -- anthropomorphised human excrement, pregnancies gone wrong, child abuse, incest, brain-eating rabbits (lol) -- and makes them... plausible. it's insane. i left an annotation that said 'i am literally never using the toilet again'. her stories feel like an exercise in creativity.
buttt. the last few stories felt a little... lackluster? the beginning was SO PROMISING but like. at one point it felt a little bit less like horror and more just like... unfortunate events? particularly the story about the prince and princess, for example, or the polish man that liked being tied up. idk!! im still rating it high because my GOD when chung writes horror SHE WRITES HORROR. i just feel like the last few selections could've been better!
buttt. the last few stories felt a little... lackluster? the beginning was SO PROMISING but like. at one point it felt a little bit less like horror and more just like... unfortunate events? particularly the story about the prince and princess, for example, or the polish man that liked being tied up. idk!! im still rating it high because my GOD when chung writes horror SHE WRITES HORROR. i just feel like the last few selections could've been better!
Fever Dream by Samanta Schweblin
dark
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
there are some books that, as soon as i finish reading them, i know what i'll rate them. this is not one of those books. unlike a lot of other horror i've read this one nails the sense of eeriness, of foreboding, of genuine horror at some moments, but getting closer to the end i sometimes didn't quite understand what was happening. but then i have to ask myself, isn't that the point for a book called fever dream?
the story starts in a hospital room where our protagonist is speaking with a young boy on her bed. she's recounting the story of how she first met the boy's mother, carla, who transmigrated his soul after he was poisoned after drinking water from a stream. throughout, we see (and FEEL, viscerally feel) carla's own anxiety with her daughter, nina, vividly represented by the 'rescue distance', the feeling of a rope between the two of them, the constant attachment between a parent and child to make sure they're okay.
it is after her meeting with carla that this anxiety appears to worsen. she is nervous around carla, around david, about what might happen to nina, unawares, if she's with them. and heartbreakingly we see that her efforts to protect her are fruitless, because what gets nina in the end isn't carla or david, but the grass she's playing with and poisons herself with. it's carla, then, who steps in when the protagonist herself cannot, and leaves the protagonist to feel the rope of their rescue distance break while nina's soul is transmigrated.
upon reading some other reviews i gained a new appreciation for the theme of poisoned nature, given argentina's use of pesticides. however, the ending still remains slightly confusing, like maybe i missed something. was amanda, the protagonist, poisoned by the grass too? is that what 'the worms' are? and in terms of literary structure, it feels a bit unsatisfying for carla to have taken nina to the greenhouse without amanda being able to do anything about it. would it not be a more interesting reflective moment if it were amanda forced to make that decision for nina, to choose which way she'd prefer the rescue distance rope to be broken?
however. this is still a great book. creepy, foreboding, and highlights what seems to be nature's most visceral horror story: parenthood.
the story starts in a hospital room where our protagonist is speaking with a young boy on her bed. she's recounting the story of how she first met the boy's mother, carla, who transmigrated his soul after he was poisoned after drinking water from a stream. throughout, we see (and FEEL, viscerally feel) carla's own anxiety with her daughter, nina, vividly represented by the 'rescue distance', the feeling of a rope between the two of them, the constant attachment between a parent and child to make sure they're okay.
it is after her meeting with carla that this anxiety appears to worsen. she is nervous around carla, around david, about what might happen to nina, unawares, if she's with them. and heartbreakingly we see that her efforts to protect her are fruitless, because what gets nina in the end isn't carla or david, but the grass she's playing with and poisons herself with. it's carla, then, who steps in when the protagonist herself cannot, and leaves the protagonist to feel the rope of their rescue distance break while nina's soul is transmigrated.
upon reading some other reviews i gained a new appreciation for the theme of poisoned nature, given argentina's use of pesticides. however, the ending still remains slightly confusing, like maybe i missed something. was amanda, the protagonist, poisoned by the grass too? is that what 'the worms' are? and in terms of literary structure, it feels a bit unsatisfying for carla to have taken nina to the greenhouse without amanda being able to do anything about it. would it not be a more interesting reflective moment if it were amanda forced to make that decision for nina, to choose which way she'd prefer the rescue distance rope to be broken?
however. this is still a great book. creepy, foreboding, and highlights what seems to be nature's most visceral horror story: parenthood.