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mel_theravengirl's reviews
616 reviews
Men Have Called Her Crazy by Anna Marie Tendler
2.0
First I just want put a disclaimer, I have a lot of sympathy for Anna Marie Tendler. It takes a lot of courage the write a book like this, about these topics and experiences. I understand that many readers view rating and reviewing memoirs as 'rating someone's life', but I disagree. I'm not as well-read in memoirs as I'd like to be and I'll give this book credit for making me realise that I do really enjoy the genre. Reading this book made me understand the genre with more clarity, and I intend to pick a lot more memoirs up in the future. (Unfortunately that is not due to the high quality of the book.) Regardless of the life story being told, a memoir needs to have a point. The audience needs to understand why they are being told this story outside of it being somewhat interesting, or tragic, or hopeful. (Jennette McCurdy didn't write about her trauma to 'spill the tea' about Nickelodeon. She wrote it to educate the public on the child exploitation currently occurring in Hollywood and to advocate for change.)
Tendler's story, to put it bluntly, is not unique. It's relatable. Her experiences with depression and men and generally feeling hopeless and directionless, are very relatable. The story she told was vulnerable and real. The journey she went on is admirable. My issue is that she didn't really have anything profound or nuanced to say about the story. This book lacked true reflection and self-awareness. Her critiques on the patriarchy and how its affected her life had the depth of a TikTok. Of course men suck, and dating them is a nightmare, but what more did she add to that conversation than a grwm storytime?
What was frustrating to me was, it wasn't like the material wasn't there. The relationships within the book, between her and her mother, her and her partners, were interesting to read about. But Tendler's clear lack of self-awareness meant that no real insights were made about them. And unfortunately the last few pages of this book gave me the impression she's reluctant to dig deeper. Which again, having read the story, I understand. When your mental health is so bad it leads to hospitalization, I understand wanting to protect yourself. Many of us saw in real time saw the things that are (or are not) spoken about in this book. The amount of drastic life changes this woman has gone through would be hard on anyone, let alone someone with such severe anxiety and depression.
But it is clear that Anna Marie Tendler, cannot add anything more nuanced to the topics discussed aside from a 'men suck'. Which ultimately made the book feel shallow and vapid to me.
Tendler's story, to put it bluntly, is not unique. It's relatable. Her experiences with depression and men and generally feeling hopeless and directionless, are very relatable. The story she told was vulnerable and real. The journey she went on is admirable. My issue is that she didn't really have anything profound or nuanced to say about the story. This book lacked true reflection and self-awareness. Her critiques on the patriarchy and how its affected her life had the depth of a TikTok. Of course men suck, and dating them is a nightmare, but what more did she add to that conversation than a grwm storytime?
What was frustrating to me was, it wasn't like the material wasn't there. The relationships within the book, between her and her mother, her and her partners, were interesting to read about. But Tendler's clear lack of self-awareness meant that no real insights were made about them. And unfortunately the last few pages of this book gave me the impression she's reluctant to dig deeper. Which again, having read the story, I understand. When your mental health is so bad it leads to hospitalization, I understand wanting to protect yourself. Many of us saw in real time saw the things that are (or are not) spoken about in this book. The amount of drastic life changes this woman has gone through would be hard on anyone, let alone someone with such severe anxiety and depression.
But it is clear that Anna Marie Tendler, cannot add anything more nuanced to the topics discussed aside from a 'men suck'. Which ultimately made the book feel shallow and vapid to me.
How to Be Both by Ali Smith
Did not finish book. Stopped at 39%.
Did not finish book. Stopped at 39%.
So upset since I've been wanting to read this book since it was released (10 years ago). But I really didn't gel with the writing. It's a book with not quotation marks and the narrative plays with the timeline. I thought conceptually the perspective the writing the plot was interesting, but its just failed to engage me. I tried to push through, but it took me two weeks to get not even 150 pages in.
Star by Yukio Mishima
challenging
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
Did not finish book. Stopped at 35%.
Did not finish book. Stopped at 35%.
I read several of the essay but honestly just got nothing from them. felt like such a waste of time, and i didn't understand the point. Just yapping about nothing
Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0