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mikes_'s reviews
56 reviews
She and Her Cat by Makoto Shinkai, Naruki Nagakawa
5.0
She and Her Cat is a collection of four interlinked short stories that are centered on women and the companionship and emotional connection they found in their respective cats. This book is incredibly hopeful, and it was able to capture the smallest glimmers of joy in daily life. The first story is my favorite, for it resonated with me deeply, and I found myself shedding tears with every turn of the page. Cats are a shared element in these women's lives, but this book taught me not just the magical transformation they bring to our lives but also about community, friendship, and a sense of home and belongingness. It's also uplifting how these stories captured mundane observations and our daily shared struggles and stresses in life. I truly find pleasure and comfort in reading slice-of-life stories.
To share some personal notes on this, I got my first cat, Eevee, three years ago while I was grieving someone who also served as a parent to me. Life broke me, and the world continuously consumed every bit of hope I had left and expected me to still conquer. Eevee did not enter my life when it was picture perfect; it was upside down, but she allowed me to reconnect with hope, helped me find my way back to myself, and provided an outlet where I could put all the love that overflowed with grief. I also learned a lot about myself and the depths of my capability to love and care for another being. She taught me how to find my purpose through the routine and structure she established in my daily life, and up to this day, she still teaches me how to live for the little details in my life.
Overall, this is a very endearing and soothing read, and even if you don't have an animal companion, there's something in this book that could inspire and touch the depths of your heart. But if you have a pet, it will truly resonate and make you ponder about them the entire time you're reading this book. Pets are such lifesavers, and as cliche as it sounds, sometimes you save them, but most of the time, they save you.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βI love her face when she smiles. But it could be that her smile is a lie that she uses to hide her clenched teeth. I don't understand why she cried. I can't even say, "You'll be all right." But I will always be by your side. After all, I am your cat.β
βI donβt fear death. Itβs no different from sleeping β itβs like we practice dying every night.β
βI believed things like happiness and misfortune depended on how you saw thingsβ
βIt's your life, and you have to make sure you keep enough of it for yourselfβ
βNo human is always strong, but no human is weak forever, either.β
βdon't forget what you wish for. if you hold it in your heart, it will some day be granted, even if i'm not hereβ
To share some personal notes on this, I got my first cat, Eevee, three years ago while I was grieving someone who also served as a parent to me. Life broke me, and the world continuously consumed every bit of hope I had left and expected me to still conquer. Eevee did not enter my life when it was picture perfect; it was upside down, but she allowed me to reconnect with hope, helped me find my way back to myself, and provided an outlet where I could put all the love that overflowed with grief. I also learned a lot about myself and the depths of my capability to love and care for another being. She taught me how to find my purpose through the routine and structure she established in my daily life, and up to this day, she still teaches me how to live for the little details in my life.
Overall, this is a very endearing and soothing read, and even if you don't have an animal companion, there's something in this book that could inspire and touch the depths of your heart. But if you have a pet, it will truly resonate and make you ponder about them the entire time you're reading this book. Pets are such lifesavers, and as cliche as it sounds, sometimes you save them, but most of the time, they save you.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βI love her face when she smiles. But it could be that her smile is a lie that she uses to hide her clenched teeth. I don't understand why she cried. I can't even say, "You'll be all right." But I will always be by your side. After all, I am your cat.β
βI donβt fear death. Itβs no different from sleeping β itβs like we practice dying every night.β
βI believed things like happiness and misfortune depended on how you saw thingsβ
βIt's your life, and you have to make sure you keep enough of it for yourselfβ
βNo human is always strong, but no human is weak forever, either.β
βdon't forget what you wish for. if you hold it in your heart, it will some day be granted, even if i'm not hereβ
The Long Answer by Anna Hogeland
4.5
This is one of those books that I found in the bookstore and brought home when I read the synopsis. I have been constantly in a reading slump for the past three months, which isn't a very positive thing on my end since I find myself wanting to read all the time, but no book has ever been able to hold my attention and interest until now. I flew through the pages of this book in less than two days, which took me by surprise as well.β¨
This novel, at its core, is an entwined story of different women who have suffered through child loss and all the trying, longing, and grief behind it. This book falls under the category of fiction books that feel like reading a memoir because of how grappling and absorbing it is to read. Anna Hogeland's prose was nothing but vivid in this book, and I find myself fully mesmerized and warped by these characters and the intricacies of the story they want to tell. This book pushed me to ponder the role of female friendships and sisterhood in the way we look at and embrace big things like pregnancy, motherhood, infertility, and miscarriage, and it provided me with a deeply moving angle around the intricate web of the mentioned themes. There's so much bittersweetness and heart in these linked stories of women, and I just know that this will stay on my bookshelf indefinitely. With that, I recommend everyone, especially women, add this important voice of a book to your radar.β¨
Closing this one made me hungry for more, for I believe this is a very vital read for every woman out there.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 4.5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
(to be updated)
This novel, at its core, is an entwined story of different women who have suffered through child loss and all the trying, longing, and grief behind it. This book falls under the category of fiction books that feel like reading a memoir because of how grappling and absorbing it is to read. Anna Hogeland's prose was nothing but vivid in this book, and I find myself fully mesmerized and warped by these characters and the intricacies of the story they want to tell. This book pushed me to ponder the role of female friendships and sisterhood in the way we look at and embrace big things like pregnancy, motherhood, infertility, and miscarriage, and it provided me with a deeply moving angle around the intricate web of the mentioned themes. There's so much bittersweetness and heart in these linked stories of women, and I just know that this will stay on my bookshelf indefinitely. With that, I recommend everyone, especially women, add this important voice of a book to your radar.β¨
Closing this one made me hungry for more, for I believe this is a very vital read for every woman out there.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 4.5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
(to be updated)
How to Fall Out of Love Madly by Jana Casale
3.5
There is something intimately comforting about reading this novel. As the title implies, this story is centered on how three women cling to their prejudicial relationships and attachments to men and the imbalance in the dynamics, but if you look at the bigger picture, this is more of an honest and close to truthful depiction of what it's like to navigate and figure your life out in early adulthood. We follow these three women, named Joy, Annie, and Celine. What they don't really straightaway tell you about adulthood is that everything is still a process of its own; it never ends. You don't just wake up one day and suddenly become aware of your worth, what you want your life to look like, where you want to settle, what you want and need in a relationship, what kind of expectations you have for your friendships, or how to establish healthy boundaries with your family; oftentimes, it takes a domino of situations or some kind of awakening before you get there and slowly gain a sense of grasp of everything. As I want to emphasize, this book reminded me how growing up is an endless process of figuring things out, gaining more clarity with your own identity, and cherishing the glimpses of hope, goodness, and bliss in the day-to-day process as you traverse all that.β¨
This book hits close to the bone, for there are sharp, realistic observations when it comes to reiterating how difficult it is to be in your 20s and 30s, for these are spent trying to find your place in the world and how you want to be perceived in it. This book caused me a sense of disquiet and melancholy most times, for it delves into the universal desire to be needed and find your purpose and the constant trying to fill 'the void', which no one can really explain how to accurately fulfill. I saw myself in these characters as they also try to find comfort and a sense of 'home' in their aloneness, for being an adult who needs to stand on your own two feet can feel lonely and depressing. I won't go further with these women's unhealthy views and compromises made to appease and keep the men in their lives, but I empathize with how it's so easy to entangle yourself in these toxic cycles and dynamics that don't serve you well, for, like I said, life consumes us too much sometimes, and if you're drowning in confusion and loneliness, you just crave a sense of certainty and belonging, and you try to search for it even in the worst of places, which can create an illusion of peace and love.β¨
Overall, I am grateful for the sense of hope this book has given me and how it has made the confusing and hard times of my life feel seen and validated. There are truly situations that will wake you up one day and make you want to be protective of yourself and assert your needs. You're pushed to the edge, which will lead you to the point where you gain a new perspective on peace and then be okay with being the villain if it means owning your life back. There is also power in realizing that maybe men will never really perceive us the way we see them and ourselves. Most of them just don't and will never go miles to learn our language; they'd just settle for how patriarchal ideals have conditioned them. The internal dialogue of these three women, in the end, also made me cling more to my personal mantra, βchoose the more loving option," because at the end of the day, I will be the one to deal with things, and I hope we all learn how to always lean on the choices that will put us in a good light, despite all the struggles and the temptation to choose what's familiar and easier.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 3.5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βAnd really, I guess so much of everything is wanting someone to see you for what you are. IsnΒ΄t that what language is? WeΒ΄ve invented so many words not to feel so invisible.β
βOnly a small number of strangers in your life will ever care to know you, let alone to love you,β
βI think, basic is something that only ever gets said to women as a way to make them feel bad about themselves. And really men are the most basic people of all.β
βI want to believe that in my friend are the same things that are inside of me.β
This book hits close to the bone, for there are sharp, realistic observations when it comes to reiterating how difficult it is to be in your 20s and 30s, for these are spent trying to find your place in the world and how you want to be perceived in it. This book caused me a sense of disquiet and melancholy most times, for it delves into the universal desire to be needed and find your purpose and the constant trying to fill 'the void', which no one can really explain how to accurately fulfill. I saw myself in these characters as they also try to find comfort and a sense of 'home' in their aloneness, for being an adult who needs to stand on your own two feet can feel lonely and depressing. I won't go further with these women's unhealthy views and compromises made to appease and keep the men in their lives, but I empathize with how it's so easy to entangle yourself in these toxic cycles and dynamics that don't serve you well, for, like I said, life consumes us too much sometimes, and if you're drowning in confusion and loneliness, you just crave a sense of certainty and belonging, and you try to search for it even in the worst of places, which can create an illusion of peace and love.β¨
Overall, I am grateful for the sense of hope this book has given me and how it has made the confusing and hard times of my life feel seen and validated. There are truly situations that will wake you up one day and make you want to be protective of yourself and assert your needs. You're pushed to the edge, which will lead you to the point where you gain a new perspective on peace and then be okay with being the villain if it means owning your life back. There is also power in realizing that maybe men will never really perceive us the way we see them and ourselves. Most of them just don't and will never go miles to learn our language; they'd just settle for how patriarchal ideals have conditioned them. The internal dialogue of these three women, in the end, also made me cling more to my personal mantra, βchoose the more loving option," because at the end of the day, I will be the one to deal with things, and I hope we all learn how to always lean on the choices that will put us in a good light, despite all the struggles and the temptation to choose what's familiar and easier.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 3.5 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βAnd really, I guess so much of everything is wanting someone to see you for what you are. IsnΒ΄t that what language is? WeΒ΄ve invented so many words not to feel so invisible.β
βOnly a small number of strangers in your life will ever care to know you, let alone to love you,β
βI think, basic is something that only ever gets said to women as a way to make them feel bad about themselves. And really men are the most basic people of all.β
βI want to believe that in my friend are the same things that are inside of me.β
Watching Women & Girls by Danielle Pender
4.0
Synopsis: "This debut collection movingly explores how women and girls are looked at, look at one another, and look at themselves, and how living as an object can shape their passions, fears, and joys. With a clear eye and dark humor, Danielle Pender considers sex, parenting, grief, and class as lenses for the ways in which the world watches women β and how women are always watching back."
I absolutely adore short story collections, and it will show with how much I own in my personal library. Sometimes it's inevitable to not like some stories when you're reading them, but this one is a brilliant and gripping collection from start to finish. Every story delivered a completely different voice, imagery, and tone, but all were equally powerful and profound. This book, in its entirety, felt addicting to read, for it provided a myriad of aspects of womanhood and the vastness of our unique experiences as women with its intense scrutiny. This is one of those books that I can't wait to read again after a few years because I have nothing more than appreciation for this one.
Favorite stories are: Window Display, Bar Italia, Paper Dolls, The Cat, Women of Pret, and Self-Portrait.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 4 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βIf she could control the situation with her silence, she could pretend that everything is fine. For just a little bit longer.β
I absolutely adore short story collections, and it will show with how much I own in my personal library. Sometimes it's inevitable to not like some stories when you're reading them, but this one is a brilliant and gripping collection from start to finish. Every story delivered a completely different voice, imagery, and tone, but all were equally powerful and profound. This book, in its entirety, felt addicting to read, for it provided a myriad of aspects of womanhood and the vastness of our unique experiences as women with its intense scrutiny. This is one of those books that I can't wait to read again after a few years because I have nothing more than appreciation for this one.
Favorite stories are: Window Display, Bar Italia, Paper Dolls, The Cat, Women of Pret, and Self-Portrait.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 4 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βIf she could control the situation with her silence, she could pretend that everything is fine. For just a little bit longer.β
Just Haven't Met You Yet by Sophie Cousens
2.5
First of all, why are lust-driven connections and superficial characters with unbelievable plots now popular and labeled as romance with overly-high deceptive ratings, and we're just expected to eat it up? This book does not connect with me at all, and it's just one of the million things that are making me feel mad lately. I like meet-cute and small-town stories, but everything in this book lacked depth and structure. I did not feel any ounce of chemistry at all, and I have a neutral facial expression the entire time I'm reading it. It was so difficult to connect with any of the characters because everything was predictable and didn't spark my interest or any profundity. This is not the worst 'romance' book I have read, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but five days isn't enough days to justify this 'intense love' this book was trying to paint. Totally forgettable.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 2.5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
"If you believe in fate leading you to love, do you also have to believe it is fate who leads love away? Are we all just floating in the sea, completely dependent on the tide and the universe to steer us to a happy harbor, or do we have oars? Do we have a chance to steer ourselves to shore?β
βMost of us will never be the best at anything we do. It isnβt a reason not to do it.β
βDo you think itβs possible to find love again after youβve been married for a long time?β I ask. "The human heart is like a flowerbed, Laura. Once the first blooms die, thereβs room enough for something else to grow, but it will never be quite the same as that first flowerβthe initial thrill of seeing what your heart is capable of.β
βMaybe lifeβs more about carving out happy chapters than finding a single happy ending."
βThereβs no point worrying what the future holds or looking back on the past. Today I am happy. Today I feel lucky. Today the world is a good place to be. Maybe the only real legacy any of us can hope to leave is to be a link in the chain that keeps love flowing through the generations.β
βI have no illusions about happily ever afters; I know life will bring its challenges and nothing is forever, but I hope we might be happy today and for as many todays as we are lucky enough to have.β
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 2.5 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
"If you believe in fate leading you to love, do you also have to believe it is fate who leads love away? Are we all just floating in the sea, completely dependent on the tide and the universe to steer us to a happy harbor, or do we have oars? Do we have a chance to steer ourselves to shore?β
βMost of us will never be the best at anything we do. It isnβt a reason not to do it.β
βDo you think itβs possible to find love again after youβve been married for a long time?β I ask. "The human heart is like a flowerbed, Laura. Once the first blooms die, thereβs room enough for something else to grow, but it will never be quite the same as that first flowerβthe initial thrill of seeing what your heart is capable of.β
βMaybe lifeβs more about carving out happy chapters than finding a single happy ending."
βThereβs no point worrying what the future holds or looking back on the past. Today I am happy. Today I feel lucky. Today the world is a good place to be. Maybe the only real legacy any of us can hope to leave is to be a link in the chain that keeps love flowing through the generations.β
βI have no illusions about happily ever afters; I know life will bring its challenges and nothing is forever, but I hope we might be happy today and for as many todays as we are lucky enough to have.β
Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
5.0
I have decided to reread this tiny book full of sharp reminders once every year. This should be on the list of required readings for everyone, especially girls. This is a simplified and concise course on things and gender studies that every girl must know and keep in mind. This will only take less than 20 minutes of your time, but it will leave you with so much to unpack.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (everything in this book should be noted tbh)
βYour feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not βif only.β Not βas long as.β I matter equally. Full stop.β
βTeach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.β
β'Because you are a girl' is never a reason for anything. Ever.β
βBecause when there is true equality, resentment does not exist.β
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (everything in this book should be noted tbh)
βYour feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not βif only.β Not βas long as.β I matter equally. Full stop.β
βTeach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.β
β'Because you are a girl' is never a reason for anything. Ever.β
βBecause when there is true equality, resentment does not exist.β
I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron
3.0
This is a witty, insightful, and heartfelt collection of personal essays. Reading this felt like talking to your grandmother, whom you haven't seen in a while, and delighting in her charm and wisdom that she's trying to pass down on you. I always enjoy reading about people's experiences, and this felt like someone who has lived their whole life leaving you with fun notes and takes on things. With that, thank you, Nora! I think I have an overdue rewatch of When Harry Met Sally.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 3 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βIt's much easier to get over someone if you can delude yourself into thinking you never really cared that much.β
βOh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.β
βReading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.β
βOh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.β
βNever marry a man you wouldnβt want to be divorced from.β
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 3 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βIt's much easier to get over someone if you can delude yourself into thinking you never really cared that much.β
βOh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.β
βReading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.β
βOh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.β
βNever marry a man you wouldnβt want to be divorced from.β
Ordinary People by Diana Evans
3.5
Ordinary People is a pragmatic piece of work that centers itself on the expenditure of love. This is a story that explores the difficulties of love and how it bends and breaks with time. In this story, we follow our primary couple, Melissa and Michael, and the endlessly complicated dynamics of their partnership and, well, love. We also follow their good friends and a married couple, Stephanie and Damian.
The storyline mainly focuses on Melissa's faltering affection for Michael and the constant deliberation in her mind about their domestic shared life, which seemed to ignite when children entered the picture. We follow her everyday life, including its joys and struggles as a mother, as she navigates taking care of the house and her two children, which, in time, became a lonely situation as she also learned how their differences started to pose a deep barrier to her relationship with Michael. We watch how the story unravels the moments that consumed her affection for Michael and transformed it into a longing, resentful kind. This book is also quite reflective of the role of marriage and sheds light on how love in partnerships, even past the point of negotiation and skepticism, can still feel fragile and solitary in time. There's this reflective exchange that also feels like a mirror to all the dialogue happening in this book, wherein Stephanie says, βWe all are, arenβt we? Weβre all different from who we started as. I would hope so anyway," and then by Melissa saying, "Or are we just the same? I think weβre static inside. Itβs deviation from this static state that causes pain and friction."
This book further examines how children transform the love between two people and how sometimes they fail to make space for it and drift apart. The depiction of the work done by Melissa and Stephanie to consider their partners beyond understanding is well-intentioned and made me more immersed in the characters. It also opens up sentiments about fidelity and its opposite.
Michael and Damian's intrusive thoughts that swirl around the idea of finding another life wherein they could be a βbachelorβ again felt provoking. Why is it a harsh reality that men have a choice about whether they want to be fathers or not? That they could just run from the responsibility and have a better chance of a clean slate? Women, on the other hand, do not have the same power, for they will be painted as evil just by the idea of not facing the consequences they led to themselves. Women do not get the same privilege to have a 'break'. After all, equal partnership has always been an illusory concept.
The writing skills are commendable, but some parts felt too convoluted to process or weave into the storyline. The secondary characters, Damian and Stephanie, felt underdeveloped and left me with more questions than answers. I recommend this book, for there are so many important topics to unpack here and a variety of insights to speculate on and gain from this story. I may need to revisit this book in the future, and I have this need to dissect all the excerpts I got from it.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 3.5 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βIt was hard, she found, blending with someone in this way, no longer walking alone, and taking these differences into your mind. It made her feel cluttered inside. She did not want to blend. She did not want to be two. Yet she wanted Michael, or the part of Michael that was the same as her.β
βTruth is the only foundation for broken things, as earth is the only foundation for the rebuilding of a house. Go home. Go home to your house and tell your woman what you have done, and whatever happens, however she responds, take it as it is, be prepared for anything. Let avalanching stones fall down on your shoulders. Let lava flow. Itβs the least you can do.β
βThe greatest challenge in life is not to die before we die. I read that somewhere. It happens to a lot of people. I think itβs happening to me.β
βThe evening passed, the next day came, and things went on as normal. If you entertain and act on every impulse that passes through your mind, went his line of reasoning, you will find yourself in chaos. Hold on to the things that bind you. The self is a doomed and wayward creature. It can be neglected and this will not kill you, at least not in every way.β
The storyline mainly focuses on Melissa's faltering affection for Michael and the constant deliberation in her mind about their domestic shared life, which seemed to ignite when children entered the picture. We follow her everyday life, including its joys and struggles as a mother, as she navigates taking care of the house and her two children, which, in time, became a lonely situation as she also learned how their differences started to pose a deep barrier to her relationship with Michael. We watch how the story unravels the moments that consumed her affection for Michael and transformed it into a longing, resentful kind. This book is also quite reflective of the role of marriage and sheds light on how love in partnerships, even past the point of negotiation and skepticism, can still feel fragile and solitary in time. There's this reflective exchange that also feels like a mirror to all the dialogue happening in this book, wherein Stephanie says, βWe all are, arenβt we? Weβre all different from who we started as. I would hope so anyway," and then by Melissa saying, "Or are we just the same? I think weβre static inside. Itβs deviation from this static state that causes pain and friction."
This book further examines how children transform the love between two people and how sometimes they fail to make space for it and drift apart. The depiction of the work done by Melissa and Stephanie to consider their partners beyond understanding is well-intentioned and made me more immersed in the characters. It also opens up sentiments about fidelity and its opposite.
Michael and Damian's intrusive thoughts that swirl around the idea of finding another life wherein they could be a βbachelorβ again felt provoking. Why is it a harsh reality that men have a choice about whether they want to be fathers or not? That they could just run from the responsibility and have a better chance of a clean slate? Women, on the other hand, do not have the same power, for they will be painted as evil just by the idea of not facing the consequences they led to themselves. Women do not get the same privilege to have a 'break'. After all, equal partnership has always been an illusory concept.
The writing skills are commendable, but some parts felt too convoluted to process or weave into the storyline. The secondary characters, Damian and Stephanie, felt underdeveloped and left me with more questions than answers. I recommend this book, for there are so many important topics to unpack here and a variety of insights to speculate on and gain from this story. I may need to revisit this book in the future, and I have this need to dissect all the excerpts I got from it.
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π§ππ©ππ£π: 3.5 stars β
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πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βIt was hard, she found, blending with someone in this way, no longer walking alone, and taking these differences into your mind. It made her feel cluttered inside. She did not want to blend. She did not want to be two. Yet she wanted Michael, or the part of Michael that was the same as her.β
βTruth is the only foundation for broken things, as earth is the only foundation for the rebuilding of a house. Go home. Go home to your house and tell your woman what you have done, and whatever happens, however she responds, take it as it is, be prepared for anything. Let avalanching stones fall down on your shoulders. Let lava flow. Itβs the least you can do.β
βThe greatest challenge in life is not to die before we die. I read that somewhere. It happens to a lot of people. I think itβs happening to me.β
βThe evening passed, the next day came, and things went on as normal. If you entertain and act on every impulse that passes through your mind, went his line of reasoning, you will find yourself in chaos. Hold on to the things that bind you. The self is a doomed and wayward creature. It can be neglected and this will not kill you, at least not in every way.β
None Of This Is Serious by Catherine Prasifka
3.0
In this story, we follow Sophie as she navigates her life post-university, trying to jump into a new narrative of her life finding a job and the pressure and weight that come with the question "What's next?". This book is also filled with introspection and the role of social media, as Sophie considers the bigger things happening in the world portrayed in the book as the "crack in the sky", which symbolizes the COVID-19 pandemic that reshaped the world globally.
I hear the message this book is trying to gravitate towards; I just wish it was characterized and represented more effectively in the writing. This book was mostly centered on the refuge of social media as Sophie figures her life out. When the pandemic hit and we were all forced into isolation, we all had to develop our own coping mechanisms because life doesn't just stop (though it felt like it), and we were expected to go along with our lives and survive and make sense of all of it. I knew exactly how nonsensical and purposeless everything was, as there are more terrible things happening, but you have to figure out your way around them, and I find myself asking, "What's even the purpose of all of these mundane things I was required to do when millions of people are dying? Am I supposed to just ignore all of these crises? Will the things I do today still matter if it feels like the world is reaching its end?" Endlessly scrolling through social media, continuously absorbing new information and eager for connection, as to assure ourselves that the crisis is happening to everyone and that your problems are universal, we fixated on stuff even the unhealthyβto feel something and to find some certainty and normalcy.
Another point made here is how sometimes there can be an illusion of hope and comfort in the strangers we meet online. How easy for Sophie to open up to Rory, the guy he mostly communicated with online, for there's a sense of safety when you're being vulnerable through social media; the feeling of not being able to grasp you behind it means there's nothing to lose. Her friendship with Grace, her best friend and the only person who was painted to truly care about her while at the same time being selfish and controlling, was insufferable to read. Sophie, just one of the multiple reasons why it's challenging to empathize with her, sabotages her relationships with a narcissistic tone and insistently attaches herself to things that continuously affect her negatively. In regards to her relationship with her twin, Hannah, there are probably millions of people out there who had terrible relationships with their siblings and who are disconnected, but to paint them as evil to the point that itβs unbelievable was loathsome to read. Everyone in this book has serious mental problems that need to be addressed immediately.
With how Sophie tries to regain control of her life, there are many sentiments that pertain to your early 20s: doubts when it comes to what you can achieve, the direction of your life, friendship and connection changes, and an outgrowing toxic family cycle. The writing just felt lacking to deliver it in an effective way, but it touched on those things too. Throughout the book, the nuances and internal dialogue of the main character felt flat, obnoxious, and repetitive. Some parts are way too tedious to process, as it felt far-fetched and dragged down without a valid point in mind.
The ending wasn't in the direction I was expecting; it felt lacking in so many ways. I understand why a lot of people disliked this, but I gave it a three-star rating for the impactful excerpts that I gained from this book and the attempt to voice out the universal inner crisis we had to go through while the world felt like it was at its breaking point.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 3 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βWe walk, and he asks me what my dreams for the future are, and we talk about how lifeβs both standing still and moving much too quickly. He listens, and Iβm relieved. My future feels trapped by the decisions I made in my past, when I was too young and immature to realise their importance.β
βThereβs nothing at the centre, no one telling me what it is I should be panicking about, only that itβs okay to do so.β
βAnd how do you think your generation is uniquely affected by recent events?β
βI can imagine the specific type of man. Itβs nice to sit here and drink wine with a boy who understands the nuances of just how shitty men can be. It puts me at ease, knowing that I donβt have to fear those things when Iβm around him.β
βMy brain is oversaturated with tragedy and isnβt coping well with all the new information. For once Iβm relieved the news cycle is so short.β
I hear the message this book is trying to gravitate towards; I just wish it was characterized and represented more effectively in the writing. This book was mostly centered on the refuge of social media as Sophie figures her life out. When the pandemic hit and we were all forced into isolation, we all had to develop our own coping mechanisms because life doesn't just stop (though it felt like it), and we were expected to go along with our lives and survive and make sense of all of it. I knew exactly how nonsensical and purposeless everything was, as there are more terrible things happening, but you have to figure out your way around them, and I find myself asking, "What's even the purpose of all of these mundane things I was required to do when millions of people are dying? Am I supposed to just ignore all of these crises? Will the things I do today still matter if it feels like the world is reaching its end?" Endlessly scrolling through social media, continuously absorbing new information and eager for connection, as to assure ourselves that the crisis is happening to everyone and that your problems are universal, we fixated on stuff even the unhealthyβto feel something and to find some certainty and normalcy.
Another point made here is how sometimes there can be an illusion of hope and comfort in the strangers we meet online. How easy for Sophie to open up to Rory, the guy he mostly communicated with online, for there's a sense of safety when you're being vulnerable through social media; the feeling of not being able to grasp you behind it means there's nothing to lose. Her friendship with Grace, her best friend and the only person who was painted to truly care about her while at the same time being selfish and controlling, was insufferable to read. Sophie, just one of the multiple reasons why it's challenging to empathize with her, sabotages her relationships with a narcissistic tone and insistently attaches herself to things that continuously affect her negatively. In regards to her relationship with her twin, Hannah, there are probably millions of people out there who had terrible relationships with their siblings and who are disconnected, but to paint them as evil to the point that itβs unbelievable was loathsome to read. Everyone in this book has serious mental problems that need to be addressed immediately.
With how Sophie tries to regain control of her life, there are many sentiments that pertain to your early 20s: doubts when it comes to what you can achieve, the direction of your life, friendship and connection changes, and an outgrowing toxic family cycle. The writing just felt lacking to deliver it in an effective way, but it touched on those things too. Throughout the book, the nuances and internal dialogue of the main character felt flat, obnoxious, and repetitive. Some parts are way too tedious to process, as it felt far-fetched and dragged down without a valid point in mind.
The ending wasn't in the direction I was expecting; it felt lacking in so many ways. I understand why a lot of people disliked this, but I gave it a three-star rating for the impactful excerpts that I gained from this book and the attempt to voice out the universal inner crisis we had to go through while the world felt like it was at its breaking point.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 3 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨:
βWe walk, and he asks me what my dreams for the future are, and we talk about how lifeβs both standing still and moving much too quickly. He listens, and Iβm relieved. My future feels trapped by the decisions I made in my past, when I was too young and immature to realise their importance.β
βThereβs nothing at the centre, no one telling me what it is I should be panicking about, only that itβs okay to do so.β
βAnd how do you think your generation is uniquely affected by recent events?β
βI can imagine the specific type of man. Itβs nice to sit here and drink wine with a boy who understands the nuances of just how shitty men can be. It puts me at ease, knowing that I donβt have to fear those things when Iβm around him.β
βMy brain is oversaturated with tragedy and isnβt coping well with all the new information. For once Iβm relieved the news cycle is so short.β
Do I Know You? by Austin Siegemund-Broka, Emily Wibberley
5.0
I keep on trying and analyzing if there are things I would like to change about this book and flaws that need to alert my critical lens, and I am filled with nothing in my mind every single time. I tried. Maybe sometimes itβs completely okay to admit that some books perfectly worked for you and end it with that.β¨
I won't ever stop talking about this, but You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle encapsulates everything I want in my romance book, and even the kind of love I want for myself, so ever since then, there's been this endless and tenacious thirst to look for romance (in books) that would give me the same banter, that kind of intensity if we're talking about the chemistry and justifiable foundation of the characters' connection. This book was able to to gratify that specific thirst. The story was perfectly built up, and every scene was written flawlessly that weaved it into the slow-burn romance that I couldn't get enough of. The kind of banter presented here has its own unique magic. This isn't your typical love story wherein you wait for the story to unfold and they fall in love at the end. This is, once again, so much more than that. This is an honest depiction of how people change and so does their love. This is a candid exploration of two people redefining what their love means to them and reconnecting to the very foundation that they have created for each other. This is a story of disconnection and reconnection and the inexplicable work that it requires. β¨
This story gave me insights on a lot of things, and there are points emphasized that I could not agree more with. First, when things or situations, no matter what the context, get confusing, the first thing to do is get back to the basics and figure from there; it usually provides you with fresh perspective and answers. Second and most importantly, no matter how long you've known and loved a person, whether it be romantically or platonically, it's going to be an endless cycle of getting to know them, meeting thousands of versions, and making peace that they are constantly changing and transforming into different narratives that will sometimes feel unfamiliar to you but are essential for their own growth. It's going to take more than your love for them to keep up with it; it's going to require honesty, work, and defenselessness. Or forget all of it and let go, which is completely up to you. To cut it all short, never stop enriching your relationships, no matter the level of security and sense of familiarity you feel in the connection. At the end of the day, the type of love that stays is more of a constant choice you make every day than a consistent feeling you dwell on.
Eliza and Graham kept on wishing that their vacation wouldn't ever end, and I find myself wishing it would be true, so I won't ever reach the end of the book. But I'm glad with how it all worked out. One more thing, let me acknowledge the little scene wherein Graham notices the most subtle change in Eliza's usual handwriting, which I think is the sweetest gesture anyone could notice about a person they love. Oh, how attentive and hearty! How does this couple come up with the most unique and mesmerizing romantic love stories? I am here for all of it.
P.S. I am deciding if I should bump up to 5 stars my rating for The Roughest Draft, which is the first book that made me a fan of this brilliant couple. I still can't stop thinking about it, and it's been months since I've read it.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βOr how hard it is to reckon with this physical impossibility of loveβthe way you can grow distant from someone while going to sleep next to them every night.β
βBut then, recently Iβve begun to believe expecting how your marriage will look is like trying to trace the unknowable. Itβs their beauty and their terror. Every marriage is its own dance, every step revealed only in the moment of its creation. Invisible to everyone except its two participants, unpredictable even to them.β
βItβs whatβs been so hard about the recent months. It hasnβt made me worry Iβve married the wrong person. Itβs made me worry Iβve messed everything up with the right person. Which is so, so much worse. I canβt cut and run with himβthere would be nowhere to run to.β
βEveryone pretends. They pretend theyβre brave. They pretend they can predict the future. They pretend they can carry fears or difficulties, but they donβt know if they can. They pretend they have hope they donβt know if theyβve mustered quite yet. When we need to, itβs what we do for each other.β She reaches for my hand with hers, which I grasp. βPerfect sometimes . . . requires a little pretend. Perfection is only something you can see from the outside,β she continues. βI know you and Graham are working something out right now, but that doesnβt mean your marriage is any less perfect than mine. I just hope you wonβt give up on it.β
βI used to think I knew you just because I once did know you, but I understand now that knowing a person is never finished. Even if the answers stay the same, the questions you ask on a first date are still worth asking seven years later. I think itβs helped me know me better.β
I won't ever stop talking about this, but You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle encapsulates everything I want in my romance book, and even the kind of love I want for myself, so ever since then, there's been this endless and tenacious thirst to look for romance (in books) that would give me the same banter, that kind of intensity if we're talking about the chemistry and justifiable foundation of the characters' connection. This book was able to to gratify that specific thirst. The story was perfectly built up, and every scene was written flawlessly that weaved it into the slow-burn romance that I couldn't get enough of. The kind of banter presented here has its own unique magic. This isn't your typical love story wherein you wait for the story to unfold and they fall in love at the end. This is, once again, so much more than that. This is an honest depiction of how people change and so does their love. This is a candid exploration of two people redefining what their love means to them and reconnecting to the very foundation that they have created for each other. This is a story of disconnection and reconnection and the inexplicable work that it requires. β¨
This story gave me insights on a lot of things, and there are points emphasized that I could not agree more with. First, when things or situations, no matter what the context, get confusing, the first thing to do is get back to the basics and figure from there; it usually provides you with fresh perspective and answers. Second and most importantly, no matter how long you've known and loved a person, whether it be romantically or platonically, it's going to be an endless cycle of getting to know them, meeting thousands of versions, and making peace that they are constantly changing and transforming into different narratives that will sometimes feel unfamiliar to you but are essential for their own growth. It's going to take more than your love for them to keep up with it; it's going to require honesty, work, and defenselessness. Or forget all of it and let go, which is completely up to you. To cut it all short, never stop enriching your relationships, no matter the level of security and sense of familiarity you feel in the connection. At the end of the day, the type of love that stays is more of a constant choice you make every day than a consistent feeling you dwell on.
Eliza and Graham kept on wishing that their vacation wouldn't ever end, and I find myself wishing it would be true, so I won't ever reach the end of the book. But I'm glad with how it all worked out. One more thing, let me acknowledge the little scene wherein Graham notices the most subtle change in Eliza's usual handwriting, which I think is the sweetest gesture anyone could notice about a person they love. Oh, how attentive and hearty! How does this couple come up with the most unique and mesmerizing romantic love stories? I am here for all of it.
P.S. I am deciding if I should bump up to 5 stars my rating for The Roughest Draft, which is the first book that made me a fan of this brilliant couple. I still can't stop thinking about it, and it's been months since I've read it.
____________________
π§ππ©ππ£π: 5 stars β
____________________
πππ«π€π§ππ©π π¦πͺπ€π©ππ¨/π‘ππ£ππ¨: (just some)
βOr how hard it is to reckon with this physical impossibility of loveβthe way you can grow distant from someone while going to sleep next to them every night.β
βBut then, recently Iβve begun to believe expecting how your marriage will look is like trying to trace the unknowable. Itβs their beauty and their terror. Every marriage is its own dance, every step revealed only in the moment of its creation. Invisible to everyone except its two participants, unpredictable even to them.β
βItβs whatβs been so hard about the recent months. It hasnβt made me worry Iβve married the wrong person. Itβs made me worry Iβve messed everything up with the right person. Which is so, so much worse. I canβt cut and run with himβthere would be nowhere to run to.β
βEveryone pretends. They pretend theyβre brave. They pretend they can predict the future. They pretend they can carry fears or difficulties, but they donβt know if they can. They pretend they have hope they donβt know if theyβve mustered quite yet. When we need to, itβs what we do for each other.β She reaches for my hand with hers, which I grasp. βPerfect sometimes . . . requires a little pretend. Perfection is only something you can see from the outside,β she continues. βI know you and Graham are working something out right now, but that doesnβt mean your marriage is any less perfect than mine. I just hope you wonβt give up on it.β
βI used to think I knew you just because I once did know you, but I understand now that knowing a person is never finished. Even if the answers stay the same, the questions you ask on a first date are still worth asking seven years later. I think itβs helped me know me better.β