sloanhepler_'s reviews
419 reviews

Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up by Abigail Shrier

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Did not finish book. Stopped at 13%.
Horribly ignorant and misleading 
The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn't, and Get Stuff Done by Kendra Adachi

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Did not finish book. Stopped at 61%.

Most of the ideas in the book feel ripped off other books I’ve read. People in my circles raved about this book as life-changing. For me, it just wasn’t.  
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks

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hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

Well-researched and important.  I’m glad I read it (and I’m happy to share my highlights). Licensed therapists, feel free to skip this one— you’ll be very familiar with just about everything in here. 
Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

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hopeful informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

There were many things I took away from this. That being said, I'd give this a 3.5/5.  

It functions similarly to a workbook, yet it seemed like it took me forever to finish it. I find myself hesitating to recommend this to others (and clients) because it fails to emphasize nuance, context, and family systems in a meaningful way; I found myself uncomfortable and cringing at times.  If you have an emotionally immature person (EIP) in your life, they come from a context as does the reader. Those effected by EIPs aren't all good and EIPs aren't all bad, nor is there such rigidity that either group people can't change.  

For example, the author writes "If you're estranged from your EIP, I'm sure you have perfectly good reasons."  How can you make a statement like this?! I have many clients who have been impacted by emotionally immature parents and the author's blanket statements and generalizations would not be things that I would say or encourage in their specific situations.  Generalizations can be dangerous and might even validate inappropriate responses to EIP behavior.  Great effort, cringy-at-times execution.

It's almost as if the author wanted to write a book about narcissists, but instead called them emotionally immature to expand the content to a wider range of people (or to not be limited by diagnosis).  I would also say that maturity exists on a spectrum; it can be context dependent, relationship dependent, season dependent, etc etc.  This workbook could pair nicely with psychotherapy (in order to process some of the generalizations made in the text and how they fit with a person's specific situation/relationship).

Again, I took away a lot of helpful notes and reflection questions.  However, as a whole, it wasn't my favorite.  I will say that I read Lindsay Gibson's book [book:Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents|23129659] several years ago and found it extremely helpful at that time in my life.  I could recommend that one instead.