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florecita_lectora's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Mental illness, Sexual violence, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment
kaylaswhitmore's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
BIG oof. Reading this only a couple days after the 2024 election results was certainly a choice lol.
I find myself, upon finishing the book, recalling so many moments during my korean-american upbringing listening to my mom process how she wished she weren’t Korean, how she forbade me to marry a Korean man, how she never wanted to return to Korea… Some of those sentiments have changed for her since then, though not all, and as a 26yo married woman, fast approaching the time to begin a family, I found this book a really harrowing and brutal memoir of Korean society and patriarchal society at large. Yes, Korea is unique to its own culture and atmosphere—but sadly, even as an American, I could relate to far more than I wanted to be able to.
I can only imagine how many little nuggets of gold were lost in the translation of this book from Korean to English. Still, Nam-joo’s unflinching portrait of misogyny and motherhood is both chilling and humbling. It brings to light questions of progress, how to bring about progress, even who can truly drive progress. And the end is unapologetically realistic. But even then, the thread of hope—of feminine unity—that persists throughout her narrative gives hope. It’s all the women along the way that hold us up, bring us to the light. It’s the women who are afraid, yet still speak, the women who are small, but make themselves big that inspire us. We can be that for each other, and one day, the fight won’t be so hard.
I highly recommend this read to women and men of any background, though unfortunately, the men who need to read it most will probably not bother.
I find myself, upon finishing the book, recalling so many moments during my korean-american upbringing listening to my mom process how she wished she weren’t Korean, how she forbade me to marry a Korean man, how she never wanted to return to Korea… Some of those sentiments have changed for her since then, though not all, and as a 26yo married woman, fast approaching the time to begin a family, I found this book a really harrowing and brutal memoir of Korean society and patriarchal society at large. Yes, Korea is unique to its own culture and atmosphere—but sadly, even as an American, I could relate to far more than I wanted to be able to.
I can only imagine how many little nuggets of gold were lost in the translation of this book from Korean to English. Still, Nam-joo’s unflinching portrait of misogyny and motherhood is both chilling and humbling. It brings to light questions of progress, how to bring about progress, even who can truly drive progress. And the end is unapologetically realistic. But even then, the thread of hope—of feminine unity—that persists throughout her narrative gives hope. It’s all the women along the way that hold us up, bring us to the light. It’s the women who are afraid, yet still speak, the women who are small, but make themselves big that inspire us. We can be that for each other, and one day, the fight won’t be so hard.
I highly recommend this read to women and men of any background, though unfortunately, the men who need to read it most will probably not bother.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexism, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Bullying, Cursing, Miscarriage, Grief, Stalking, Abortion, and Alcohol
Minor: Body shaming, Fatphobia, Infertility, and Classism
sdloomer's review against another edition
informative
sad
fast-paced
- Strong character development? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
This book made me angry and it should make you too, regardless of how you identify and what your pronouns are. Inequality and sexism in every which way you can think of still persists, and even flourishes, in countries we think of as "advanced" (America, anyone?) and we must be ferociously vigilant in stamping out these injustices.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Gaslighting
ericispublius's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual assault, Stalking, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Infertility, and Abortion
Minor: Death of parent
rnbhargava's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This book is as informative as it is engaging and heartbreaking. I’m mostly leaving it at 4.5 rather than a 5 because there’s always another side or opinion to any highly accurate fictional depiction of a certain time period
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Classism
The whole narrative of this novel is about ways that women in South Korea aren’t valued, even abused in their professional and personal lives by various males in their lives. From fathers, brothers, partners, husbands, coworkers even if they’re subordinates to them or generally younger (age is a big thing in Korea in interpersonal relationships) This book is fantastic, especially given its brief length. Jiyoung could be any woman you know and she just wants to be valued and acknowledged as a person but she isn’t just because she’s a woman, a hard worker, a mother, among any number of things she could also be. Fantastic novel.bookobsessedmommy's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Whew. This was both depressing and validating. This reads like narrative non-fiction, where we see and every woman's journey alongside the statistical realities of life for women in South Korea in that time. Jiyoung's decent into madness isn't preempted by anything particularly extraordinary or traumatic, but instead by incessant misogyny and the cumulative effects of recurring demoralization. There is a lot that is culturally unique (from my American perspective) but so much of this book has a broader appeal to the plight and experiences of women everywhere. It is short, but it packs one hell of a punch.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Gaslighting
sari_lyr's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Misogyny, and Gaslighting
Minor: Abortion
zgreyz's review against another edition
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Grief, Medical trauma, Stalking, Gaslighting, and Classism
bek_p87's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
A short, simple story about a woman living under patriarchy. The power in this book comes from its ordinariness, its relatability for EVERY woman. It makes me want to scream.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting
melina_30's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Wow. I think it's brilliant that we learn at the end, that this story is written by Jiyoung's therapist which explains the clinical and detached writing style. Also I'm in shok how the therapist didn't learn anything from the experiences of women in his life. Both his own wife and his patient Kim Jiyoung share their stuggle with mistreatment by men in their life and society in general but he doesn't seem to understand why they struggle which becomes clear with the description of an employee who had to quit her job at the clinic due to the same reasons his patients consult him. The last sentences of the book had me in shock: "Even the best female employees can cause many problems if they don't have the childcare issue taken care of. I'll have to make sure her replacement is unmarried." One last slap in the face... After everything he heard from his patients and his own wife this is his solution??
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Mental illness and Gaslighting
Minor: Pregnancy and Alcohol