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engpunk77's review
2.0
More entertaining (unintentionally) than helpful, this was much like a lighter version of Dr. Laura's marriage books. The authors seriously come right out and tell you in the beginning that you are not to compromise or try to work with your husband on your marriage. No marriage counseling, definitely don't let him know you are reading the book or ask him to consider issues in your marriage. Men, according to the authors, are incapable of doing relationship work. It is your job, women, to do ALL of the work. Men are not capable of change, sensitivity, personal growth, and why should they? Really. This is the main idea, and they aren't kidding.
What work, you may ask? Do as he says, stroke his ego, NEVER turn down sex, have more sex, be kinkier, watch porn with him, pretend he's perfect, pretend your kids are perfect (they even tell you to NEVER complain to your husband about the kids...he needs to see you as a perfect mother who can handle the kids without his unnecessary input), never bring up issues (just pretend the issues aren't there!), and rely on your girlfriends or a therapist if you continue to have silly moments of unhappiness with your marriage. You should never vent to your husband or reveal any discontent. In fact, if you catch yourself fighting, just say, "How about we just have sex?"
This book is kind of like a Stepford handbook for wives who want to keep their husbands. Always remember....it's much easier to be married than single. And if your husband divorces you? They advise to IMMEDIATELY begin dating multiple men. They say this whole baloney about "finding yourself" or "taking a year off from men" is rubbish. The only way to get over a man after divorce is to find another one. And don't forget a refresher on the rules for dating....
And the part I loved the most about this book was.....they weren't kidding. I will try to remember that if I'm unhappy for any reason, I just need to have sex. Why didn't I just figure that out on my own? Huh. I could've saved myself a lot of heartache!
What work, you may ask? Do as he says, stroke his ego, NEVER turn down sex, have more sex, be kinkier, watch porn with him, pretend he's perfect, pretend your kids are perfect (they even tell you to NEVER complain to your husband about the kids...he needs to see you as a perfect mother who can handle the kids without his unnecessary input), never bring up issues (just pretend the issues aren't there!), and rely on your girlfriends or a therapist if you continue to have silly moments of unhappiness with your marriage. You should never vent to your husband or reveal any discontent. In fact, if you catch yourself fighting, just say, "How about we just have sex?"
This book is kind of like a Stepford handbook for wives who want to keep their husbands. Always remember....it's much easier to be married than single. And if your husband divorces you? They advise to IMMEDIATELY begin dating multiple men. They say this whole baloney about "finding yourself" or "taking a year off from men" is rubbish. The only way to get over a man after divorce is to find another one. And don't forget a refresher on the rules for dating....
And the part I loved the most about this book was.....they weren't kidding. I will try to remember that if I'm unhappy for any reason, I just need to have sex. Why didn't I just figure that out on my own? Huh. I could've saved myself a lot of heartache!
rachelteresacrawshaw's review
1.0
I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this book. The rules for marriage apparently are do whatever your husband says, have sex with him whenever he wants, put his life before your own at all costs, don't share anything negative about your life with him- basically be a step-ford wife, no real emotions, no thoughts or likes or dislikes of your own.
This is the marriage survival guide for women who live on an Island with 700 other women only one man- the penalty being if you don't marry and stay married to him you die. This is the only time when you should take this advice seriously.
I laughed so much when reading this book, but inside I was crying for the death of so many innocent women's independence, for the lapse of feminism and for the horrible marriages that these women must suffer through pretending to be something they aren't.
This is the marriage survival guide for women who live on an Island with 700 other women only one man- the penalty being if you don't marry and stay married to him you die. This is the only time when you should take this advice seriously.
I laughed so much when reading this book, but inside I was crying for the death of so many innocent women's independence, for the lapse of feminism and for the horrible marriages that these women must suffer through pretending to be something they aren't.
ladyaisha's review
3.0
Ok, I don't write reviews usually! But I JUST HAD to write this because I'm shocked at how differently I'm seeing this!! I read it over 6 months ago & didn't think much if it.. But now that I'm married, I have a significantly different view.. I'm finding most of what's in this book to be VERY wise & it's hard to appreciate the wisdom of it if you're not married for a while.. Whoever read this book should realise that this book is assuming you're married to someone you love & adore and that you have made a conscious decision to keep loving & adoring this person even if he's not the nicest human bring on earth & honestly you do NOT feel like it (which is bound to happen!) he's your husband! Not your friend, colleague, or sibling! I strongly recommend (Why Talking Is Not Enough) & I'm giving this book one more star :D
alexctelander's review
1.0
They began with The Rules, a book that soon jumped to the top of the Times’ bestseller lists, following up with: The Rules Dating Journal, The Rules Note Cards, and The Rules II. Now, fresh from the press, the dynamic duo brings us The Rules for Marriage, as if Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider haven’t done enough already on how a couple should pursue their relationship – now they give us rules on how to stay together . . . or rather how the wife should submit to the husband to avoid divorce.
The book is best summed up with a complete list of the rules, which are as follows, along with some italicized and perhaps sarcastic commentary:
#1 Relax during the engagement and wedding.
#2 Continue to be a creature unlike any other (a CUAO).
#3 Keep up the good looks – but don’t go crazy.
#4 Keep up your own interests (Have a life!).
#5 Lower your expectations in the first year (I like this one!)
#6 Be a team.
#7 Give him fifteen minutes alone when he comes home.
#8 Be supportive.
#9 Let him win (another good one!).
#10 Accept that some things are none of you business.
#11 Try not to call him too much at work (for the overly-dependent types).
#12 Rarely return his gifts.
#13 Don’t expect a lot of sympathy from your husband (so true).
#14 Rules for fighting (something that has potential?).
#15 Say what you mean, but don’t say it meanly (men are very fragile).
#16 Don’t use the D (Divorce) word.
#17 Don’t scream, speak softly (yeah, you noisy women!).
#18 To compare is to despair – don’t compare him with other husbands.
#19 Don’t ask your single friends for marital advice (No, let the authors tell you).
#20 Have a family dinner at least once a week.
#21 Don’t force him to talk.
#22 Don’t hang on his every word.
#23 Do things you don’t want to do.
#24 He can say anything about his family but you can’t.
#25 Make him feel like he’s the most important person in your life (so true).
#26 Listen to his advice and try to appreciate it.
#27 Don’t try to do it all.
#28 Have a date night.
#29 Rules for sex (could be interesting?).
#30 Rules for pregnancy (alarm bells!).
#31 Don’t complain about the kids (no, that’s his job).
#32 Keep it to yourself (yes, expression is a bad thing).
#33 Don’t expect applause for doing chores (you’re a woman, apparently it’s your job).
#34 Don’t nag (because you’re so good at it).
#35 Don’t find fault with things you knew about when you married him.
#36 It’s easier to stay married than get married (what?!).
#37 Go on the Boot Camp Nice Plan for a week.
#38 Don’t go changin’ or try to hard.
#39 Don’t think marriage counseling is the answer (but it’s easier than reading this book).
#40 Realize that your marriage is over if he cheats even once (finally making some sense).
#41 Divorce with dignity (unlikely).
#42 Date ASAP after you divorce (O . . . kay).
#43 Rules for second marriages (oh hell no!).
And just in case that wasn’t enough for you newly-wed wives, there is also a list of further Rules, as well as Fifteen Extra Hints. So, if after going through all of The Rules For Marriage, you are unable to keep you marriage together, I think it really is time to call it quits.
Originally published on October 22nd 2001.
For over 500 book reviews, and over 40 exclusive author interviews (both audio and written), visit BookBanter.
The book is best summed up with a complete list of the rules, which are as follows, along with some italicized and perhaps sarcastic commentary:
#1 Relax during the engagement and wedding.
#2 Continue to be a creature unlike any other (a CUAO).
#3 Keep up the good looks – but don’t go crazy.
#4 Keep up your own interests (Have a life!).
#5 Lower your expectations in the first year (I like this one!)
#6 Be a team.
#7 Give him fifteen minutes alone when he comes home.
#8 Be supportive.
#9 Let him win (another good one!).
#10 Accept that some things are none of you business.
#11 Try not to call him too much at work (for the overly-dependent types).
#12 Rarely return his gifts.
#13 Don’t expect a lot of sympathy from your husband (so true).
#14 Rules for fighting (something that has potential?).
#15 Say what you mean, but don’t say it meanly (men are very fragile).
#16 Don’t use the D (Divorce) word.
#17 Don’t scream, speak softly (yeah, you noisy women!).
#18 To compare is to despair – don’t compare him with other husbands.
#19 Don’t ask your single friends for marital advice (No, let the authors tell you).
#20 Have a family dinner at least once a week.
#21 Don’t force him to talk.
#22 Don’t hang on his every word.
#23 Do things you don’t want to do.
#24 He can say anything about his family but you can’t.
#25 Make him feel like he’s the most important person in your life (so true).
#26 Listen to his advice and try to appreciate it.
#27 Don’t try to do it all.
#28 Have a date night.
#29 Rules for sex (could be interesting?).
#30 Rules for pregnancy (alarm bells!).
#31 Don’t complain about the kids (no, that’s his job).
#32 Keep it to yourself (yes, expression is a bad thing).
#33 Don’t expect applause for doing chores (you’re a woman, apparently it’s your job).
#34 Don’t nag (because you’re so good at it).
#35 Don’t find fault with things you knew about when you married him.
#36 It’s easier to stay married than get married (what?!).
#37 Go on the Boot Camp Nice Plan for a week.
#38 Don’t go changin’ or try to hard.
#39 Don’t think marriage counseling is the answer (but it’s easier than reading this book).
#40 Realize that your marriage is over if he cheats even once (finally making some sense).
#41 Divorce with dignity (unlikely).
#42 Date ASAP after you divorce (O . . . kay).
#43 Rules for second marriages (oh hell no!).
And just in case that wasn’t enough for you newly-wed wives, there is also a list of further Rules, as well as Fifteen Extra Hints. So, if after going through all of The Rules For Marriage, you are unable to keep you marriage together, I think it really is time to call it quits.
Originally published on October 22nd 2001.
For over 500 book reviews, and over 40 exclusive author interviews (both audio and written), visit BookBanter.
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