elizabethwolfinger's review against another edition
dark
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
kelevrak's review against another edition
5.0
I think this book, short as it was, was a damn success for one reason, if for no other, and that is that everything felt so damn REAL. The feelings, the absolute overflow of them, wasn't just toward Ann, difficult as her situation was. You felt for Connor, the abuser. His actions are not justified, they're never by any means right. But you do, by the end of it, understand WHY, as sad as that why is. Sadder still, that he cannot move past it, and that it casts this large shadow on something that could have been great, that it took the heart of their relationship and strangled it.
As someone who has been both on the sidelines to an abusive relationship and in an abusive relationship, this struck pretty close to home. And let me tell you, it's so damn accurate.
More than that, I found myself adoring Connor and the complete realness of him. I adored him in a way one might adore a broken toy that once brought such joy, or a sacred belonging that you will simply never part with but should. I adored him in the way I often love watching storms, with awe and longing and sadness, and knowing that he might never be more than a storm. To himself and to others. And it's sad and it left me aching, because while Ann could have walked away from him, written him off as an experience, that is still his shitty life. And it's tragic, that a person can become so dangerous to themselves and to those they love.
This book was all sorts of heartbreaking, and I loved it, and will treasure it.
Five stars well earned.
My heart goes out to those that are able to move past such destructive relationships, as does it go out to those who can't move past the destruction that they themselves are.
As someone who has been both on the sidelines to an abusive relationship and in an abusive relationship, this struck pretty close to home. And let me tell you, it's so damn accurate.
More than that, I found myself adoring Connor and the complete realness of him. I adored him in a way one might adore a broken toy that once brought such joy, or a sacred belonging that you will simply never part with but should. I adored him in the way I often love watching storms, with awe and longing and sadness, and knowing that he might never be more than a storm. To himself and to others. And it's sad and it left me aching, because while Ann could have walked away from him, written him off as an experience, that is still his shitty life. And it's tragic, that a person can become so dangerous to themselves and to those they love.
This book was all sorts of heartbreaking, and I loved it, and will treasure it.
Five stars well earned.
My heart goes out to those that are able to move past such destructive relationships, as does it go out to those who can't move past the destruction that they themselves are.
anabelsbrother's review against another edition
3.0
The most interesting about this book is how the story is told chronologically backwards. We have our MC, Ann, who is already so broken, both literally and figuratively, because of her relationship with Connor.
It's terrifying to see how far gone Ann is. I always wonder why girls in abusive relationship don't just leave, and I think somehow Amanda Grace has managed to capture the reason in these sentences:
It's always complicated.
Some of my favorite quotes:
I love him so much.
But sometimes I don’t like him.
People don’t change because you want them to. They aren’t clay, ready to be molded.
I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor.
And I’m tired of drowning.
3.5 stars.
It's terrifying to see how far gone Ann is. I always wonder why girls in abusive relationship don't just leave, and I think somehow Amanda Grace has managed to capture the reason in these sentences:
People don’t understand us. They don’t understand me. They think it’s so black and white, that he makes me miserable and that I should be with someone else and that I deserve something else.
But it’s not black and white at all. It’s gray. It’s a never-ending world of gray.
It's always complicated.
Some of my favorite quotes:
I love him so much.
But sometimes I don’t like him.
People don’t change because you want them to. They aren’t clay, ready to be molded.
I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor.
And I’m tired of drowning.
3.5 stars.
dresselaersdaphne's review against another edition
4.0
This book was a very good insight into the life of a girl in an abusive relationship.
I like the complexity of all the characters. Nobody was pure good or pure bad. I think it's important to underline the fact that abusers also have a sweet and caring side. Domestic violence is such a complex story and I think this book did really well in trying to explain it.
It was fast paced because of the short chapters and it had me hooked from the beginning.
I like the complexity of all the characters. Nobody was pure good or pure bad. I think it's important to underline the fact that abusers also have a sweet and caring side. Domestic violence is such a complex story and I think this book did really well in trying to explain it.
It was fast paced because of the short chapters and it had me hooked from the beginning.
nicoleabouttown's review against another edition
5.0
Originally Posted at All I Ever Read
Wow!
I could just leave my review at that and I would have summed up what I felt when reading But I Love Him by Amanda Grace. Told in reverse chronological order But I Love Him chronicles the love story between Ann and Conner that was doomed from the very beginning.
I liked this book because it made me feel for the characters; both of them. It’s so easy when writing a story that chronicles abuse of any kind or the demise of a relationship to create at least one character, usually the abuser, that is just so horrible that the reader hates them. They often come across as having no redeeming qualities and by the end of the book you are waiting and hoping for them to get a dose of their own medicine. By contrast the victim is usually not really someone that readers can identify with, and spend the entire book shaking their heads wondering why they don’t just get out. That is not the case with this book.
In But I Love Him, Amanda Grace introduces two characters you can’t help but feel for. There is Ann who is the All American good girl who everyone loves and appears to be genuinely good person who wants the best for those around her. Conner on the other hand is not so much a bad boy, but a broken boy. He comes from an abusive home himself and seems to want to break the cycle of abuse, but he either doesn’t know or posess the skill set to do so. Ann wants to help Conner and wants him to be better, and it’s over this year that she comes to realization that she can’t save him, but rather she has to save herself.
My Rating
5*
Wow!
I could just leave my review at that and I would have summed up what I felt when reading But I Love Him by Amanda Grace. Told in reverse chronological order But I Love Him chronicles the love story between Ann and Conner that was doomed from the very beginning.
I liked this book because it made me feel for the characters; both of them. It’s so easy when writing a story that chronicles abuse of any kind or the demise of a relationship to create at least one character, usually the abuser, that is just so horrible that the reader hates them. They often come across as having no redeeming qualities and by the end of the book you are waiting and hoping for them to get a dose of their own medicine. By contrast the victim is usually not really someone that readers can identify with, and spend the entire book shaking their heads wondering why they don’t just get out. That is not the case with this book.
In But I Love Him, Amanda Grace introduces two characters you can’t help but feel for. There is Ann who is the All American good girl who everyone loves and appears to be genuinely good person who wants the best for those around her. Conner on the other hand is not so much a bad boy, but a broken boy. He comes from an abusive home himself and seems to want to break the cycle of abuse, but he either doesn’t know or posess the skill set to do so. Ann wants to help Conner and wants him to be better, and it’s over this year that she comes to realization that she can’t save him, but rather she has to save herself.
My Rating
5*
wybie's review against another edition
5.0
This book is written retrospectively, so gradually we get to the first day of their relationship. Each chapter is marked with a different date and the chapters are short, so it really makes you want keep reading, to see how the whole mess started.
I love the writing style, the book is engaging.
I wish I could read it again, chronologically this time, to experience it in a different way.
I love the writing style, the book is engaging.
I wish I could read it again, chronologically this time, to experience it in a different way.
4fae's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I used this book to figure out my relationship and in so many ways I felt similar.
Is a good book. Ann’s background justifies her lack of self-esteem and why she accepts so little. The order of events was good to understand her actions but I don't think I enjoy that kind of book. However, the way the other characters were involved I truly understand, Mom pushing her, Abby understanding and letting go, and Blake confronting it was well made for me. Also, Connor’s life made me sympathize with him without justifying his actions.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Child abuse
Minor: Cancer and Death of parent
heykellyjensen's review against another edition
2.0
2.5.
A risky novel for sure, but I'm not sure the structure really helped develop a sense of who Ann was and why she got caught up in what she did. The problem for me was the lack of knowing her and knowing the stories of Abby and Blake, who were HUGE PARTS of the story.
It'll resonate with readers, for sure, but for me, it was one of the weaker books on abuse that's been published lately.
A risky novel for sure, but I'm not sure the structure really helped develop a sense of who Ann was and why she got caught up in what she did. The problem for me was the lack of knowing her and knowing the stories of Abby and Blake, who were HUGE PARTS of the story.
It'll resonate with readers, for sure, but for me, it was one of the weaker books on abuse that's been published lately.
sassygal21's review against another edition
5.0
What an amazing book. This story is about abuse and usually you read one you've read them all. The author goes backwards in time and you can really see the change in Ann more than I think if she went forwards like a normal story. I felt like I was in the story the character development was great. The end really brings the novel full circle. I read this book in a matter of hours. Wonderful!