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merbears's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Homophobia, Dementia, Medical trauma, and Lesbophobia
theliteraryteapot's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Whilst not an easy read (especially as a bi woman) because the story is told through the pov of a homophobic mother, I'm glad I read this book. This short novel has a certain ambition, trying to examine several aspects of society. Homophobia, heteronormativity, ageism, poverty/low-paid job, loneliness, generational trauma (particularly passed on from mother to daughter), traditionalist society, the treatment of patients in a retirement home, ...
Maybe not perfect, this book still is quite significant, an important read. This story may feel like it's been done before but to me, growing up in a rural environment with homophobic family members, this is sadly a little too relatable (even down to the care assitant job).
Maybe not perfect, this book still is quite significant, an important read. This story may feel like it's been done before but to me, growing up in a rural environment with homophobic family members, this is sadly a little too relatable (even down to the care assitant job).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Body horror, Death, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexism, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Classism
pingi444's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
crazytourists_books's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I won't lie, this is a hard book to read. Not because it uses a hard to understand language. On the contrary, it is very simple and straightforward. It is hard to read (in some places unbearable) because the issues that it deals with and the way it deals with them are brutal; homophobia, patriarchy, solitude, ageism, dementia, domestic violence.
It is hard to like the protagonist, but it is also hard to dislike her; she grew up in a deeply patriarchal and homophobic society that turns a blind eye to the struggles of others. Is that an excuse? No, of course it isn't, but it is that much harder to hate someone who has love as their starting point. They disappoint you, thwy make you angry and frustrated, but you hope that they'll find the way to do the right thing and shake all this dead weight (of the patriarchy and self centered view of the world) of their shoulder. And be better. Do better.
The author doesn't take sides, and I enjoyed that. She lets her protagonist do the talking and grow through the hardships, and errors, and fears and become a better person, show compassion, acceptance, and maybe, understanding.
It is hard to like the protagonist, but it is also hard to dislike her; she grew up in a deeply patriarchal and homophobic society that turns a blind eye to the struggles of others. Is that an excuse? No, of course it isn't, but it is that much harder to hate someone who has love as their starting point. They disappoint you, thwy make you angry and frustrated, but you hope that they'll find the way to do the right thing and shake all this dead weight (of the patriarchy and self centered view of the world) of their shoulder. And be better. Do better.
The author doesn't take sides, and I enjoyed that. She lets her protagonist do the talking and grow through the hardships, and errors, and fears and become a better person, show compassion, acceptance, and maybe, understanding.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Dementia
claudiatralenuvole's review against another edition
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Questa lettura è difficile, non per la scrittura in sé ma per la voce narrante che può risultare sgradevole e irritante.
La protagonista è una madre che non accetta l'omosessualità di sua figlia e la relazione che ormai ha da 7 anni con un'altra donna. Il suo punto di vista è claustrofobico, rabbioso e ignorante.
Nonostante tutto, non sono riuscita a odiare la narratrice fino in fondo, per lo più mi ha fatto pena. È una donna che non capisce cosa provi la figlia e nemmeno ci prova perché nella società in cui è cresciuta non bisogna provare a mettersi nei panni degli altri, bisogna pensare a se stessi e a eccellere a qualsiasi costo.
La protagonista più che odiare sua figlia e le sue "scelte di vita" ha chiaramente il terrore che finisca sola ed emarginata dalla società e lo si vede benissimo dal modo in cui tratta Jen, una paziente della casa di cura dove lavora, che non si è mai sposata né ha avuto figli e quindi viene completamente abbandonata dalla società e trattata dal sistema sanitario come un fardello. Visto che in Corea del Sud il matrimonio omosessuale non è riconosciuto, la narratrice teme palesemente che sua figlia invecchi sola e senza il supporto di nessuno.
Non è assolutamente una scusante per il comportamento e le parole della protagonista, ma quantomeno li rendono comprensibili da un punto di vista psicologico.
Nella sua voce arrabbiata, confusa e tradita io ci ho letto soprattutto il dolore di una vita a piegarsi, a lottare per qualche diritto e a mordersi la lingua per non venire esclusa o punita dalla Collettività. Voleva vivere tramite sua figlia un riscatto - laurea, lavoro ben pagato all'Università, matrimonio di successo e figli - che non è avvenuto.
Si percepisce tutto il gap generazionale: sua figlia lotta per le ingiustizie, parla apertamente dei problemi, li affronta a muso duro, e non nasconde la sua sessualità, non si vergogna. Sua madre invece è il prodotto di un'epoca più tradizionale, severa, che l'ha fatta soffrire e danneggiata e ancora non riesce a lasciarla libera.
Tuttavia, secondo me sul finale cominciamo a vedere uno spiraglio di cambiamento: la ribellione in clinica, qualche dialogo aperto con la compagna della figlia, l'ammissione che forse un giorno si abituerà all'omosessualità delle due.
Perciò ho apprezzato tantissimo questa lettura, per il modo in cui mi ha fatto calare nella mente di un personaggio che nella vita vera probabilmente detesterei, ma per cui qui ho provato soprattutto pena.
La protagonista è una madre che non accetta l'omosessualità di sua figlia e la relazione che ormai ha da 7 anni con un'altra donna. Il suo punto di vista è claustrofobico, rabbioso e ignorante.
Nonostante tutto, non sono riuscita a odiare la narratrice fino in fondo, per lo più mi ha fatto pena. È una donna che non capisce cosa provi la figlia e nemmeno ci prova perché nella società in cui è cresciuta non bisogna provare a mettersi nei panni degli altri, bisogna pensare a se stessi e a eccellere a qualsiasi costo.
La protagonista più che odiare sua figlia e le sue "scelte di vita" ha chiaramente il terrore che finisca sola ed emarginata dalla società e lo si vede benissimo dal modo in cui tratta Jen, una paziente della casa di cura dove lavora, che non si è mai sposata né ha avuto figli e quindi viene completamente abbandonata dalla società e trattata dal sistema sanitario come un fardello. Visto che in Corea del Sud il matrimonio omosessuale non è riconosciuto, la narratrice teme palesemente che sua figlia invecchi sola e senza il supporto di nessuno.
Non è assolutamente una scusante per il comportamento e le parole della protagonista, ma quantomeno li rendono comprensibili da un punto di vista psicologico.
Nella sua voce arrabbiata, confusa e tradita io ci ho letto soprattutto il dolore di una vita a piegarsi, a lottare per qualche diritto e a mordersi la lingua per non venire esclusa o punita dalla Collettività. Voleva vivere tramite sua figlia un riscatto - laurea, lavoro ben pagato all'Università, matrimonio di successo e figli - che non è avvenuto.
Si percepisce tutto il gap generazionale: sua figlia lotta per le ingiustizie, parla apertamente dei problemi, li affronta a muso duro, e non nasconde la sua sessualità, non si vergogna. Sua madre invece è il prodotto di un'epoca più tradizionale, severa, che l'ha fatta soffrire e danneggiata e ancora non riesce a lasciarla libera.
Tuttavia, secondo me sul finale cominciamo a vedere uno spiraglio di cambiamento: la ribellione in clinica, qualche dialogo aperto con la compagna della figlia, l'ammissione che forse un giorno si abituerà all'omosessualità delle due.
Perciò ho apprezzato tantissimo questa lettura, per il modo in cui mi ha fatto calare nella mente di un personaggio che nella vita vera probabilmente detesterei, ma per cui qui ho provato soprattutto pena.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Terminal illness, Dementia, and Medical trauma
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Violence and Police brutality
tamzy6's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I would rate this 3.25 stars. I wanted to like this book so much because I can relate to it a lot but something fell short for me. I liked the realism and the subject matter obviously. The narrator is a homophobic mother and I felt personally triggered by most of her thoughts that I had to pause and take breaks whenever I read something homophobic. Perhaps because this is a short read (and a vignette of her life) but I felt that protagonist didn't really achieve much growth, or maybe that's the point.
I appreciated the plot involving Jen, who is a patient suffering from advanced dementia and its significance to the protagonist but I felt I <i>needed</i> to hear about the relationship the protagonist and her daughter more.
I appreciated the plot involving Jen, who is a patient suffering from advanced dementia and its significance to the protagonist but I felt I <i>needed</i> to hear about the relationship the protagonist and her daughter more.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dementia
loxeletters's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book is an exploration of the mind of an elderly woman who has to come to terms with the fact that her daughter is a lesbian. It's not a happy or particularly uplifting book; in fact, the protagonist is (intentionally) frustrating and unlikeable.
A second, big part of the story is that the narrator works as a carer at a nursing home. This way, the theme of accepting other people's differences is connected to the fear of growing old alone, and of dying lonely. Another theme is that of being a person - which is discussed very explicitly in relation to the MC's patients, and implied in the way she refuses to refer to her daughter as anything but that - her daughter. Not a person of her own.
Thirdly, the book discusses capitalism, the gruelling reality of work and alienation, and living on the line to poverty.
As is typical for Korean fiction, the book is quite understated. It does not present a neat solution. The world of this book remains relatively bleak throughout its entirety.
While the ending may be frustrating or unfulfilling to some, I enjoyed the realism of it. The beauty of female relationships shone, even in harrowing conditions. And it serves as a fruitful critique of capitalism and contemporary society.
TW for homophobia and an extremely toxic mother-daughter relationship.
A second, big part of the story is that the narrator works as a carer at a nursing home. This way, the theme of accepting other people's differences is connected to the fear of growing old alone, and of dying lonely. Another theme is that of being a person - which is discussed very explicitly in relation to the MC's patients, and implied in the way she refuses to refer to her daughter as anything but that - her daughter. Not a person of her own.
Thirdly, the book discusses capitalism, the gruelling reality of work and alienation, and living on the line to poverty.
As is typical for Korean fiction, the book is quite understated. It does not present a neat solution. The world of this book remains relatively bleak throughout its entirety.
While the ending may be frustrating or unfulfilling to some, I enjoyed the realism of it. The beauty of female relationships shone, even in harrowing conditions. And it serves as a fruitful critique of capitalism and contemporary society.
TW for homophobia and an extremely toxic mother-daughter relationship.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Dementia, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Death, Hate crime, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, and Medical content
pickashelf's review against another edition
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Violence, Excrement, Dementia, and Lesbophobia
minxtte's review against another edition
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Confinement, Homophobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
seanamcphie's review against another edition
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, Vomit, Medical content, Dementia, and Lesbophobia