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I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope by Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
glendareads39's review against another edition
4.0
Eye-opening, informative, heart-wrenching and beautiful memoir told by Valerie and her daughter Emily, who is autistic and nonverbal. The mother-daughter duo describes the challenges of living as and with an autistic person. The books takes you from Emily's beginning to where she is today...it's great seeing how Emily's life changed after she found her voice. It includes poems written by Emily. It's an bold and courageous book. People with autism deserved to be treated with love, respect and empathy. I recommend this book with April being Autism Acceptance month.
lame7747's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.75
princesszinza's review against another edition
2.0
I read this book because of a recommendation from Amazon. I was happy to find it as a digital download from the library.
I started reading with great interest since Emily is around the same age as my daughter. Much of Valerie's beginning search was so familiar to me. The top doctors and treatments were the same I read about when my daughter was young. The difference is that I didn't have the means to seek out these doctors or treatments that Valerie was able to.
When my child was very young I tried doing the ABA program myself. I could not afford any help. I found it to be too structured and tedious for a small child. It almost felt cruel. The program didn't seem like it was working either. I felt guilty for giving up on it at the time. Now, I feel that it is aimed at making the child "normal", which is of course not possible or desirable. So I agree with Valerie about ABA but for different reasons.
Valerie also mentioned how isolating having a child with autism is. She said that family and friends tend to distance themselves. Her family became a singular unit dealing with the diagnosis. I have also found this to be true.
Valerie's insights about the early years of Emily's schooling also rang true to me. Yes, often times the more inclusive, kind kids are from lower means. Wealthy kids often behave in a more entitled, snarky way.
It's also true that mainstreaming is not always what it's made out to be to parents. It can be awesome with the right teacher, but sadly many teachers don't want to take on the added responsibility. It's better for the child to be with a teacher trained in autism who understands the child in a small classroom with trained aides for support, than having a child in a large mainstream classroom neglected in a seat in the back.
Every kid with autism is different and has their own needs. No school program is perfect. Most schools do try to place children in the best programs. My feeling is that if the parents are involved and caring, and explore the best options, things will work out.
Working out doesn't mean your child will be cured. There's no magic with developmental disabilities. Amazing improvement happens. My child made tremendous strides. Greater than anyone ever imagined. But there is no cure or magic.
This brings me to my concerns about this book. I believe in science. Science does not support Facilitated Communication. I've watched Sue Rubin's movie "Autism is a World". I read Carly Fleischman's father's book and seen her videos. I have not seen anything that convinces me of the merits of FC.
Valerie mentions her concerns and is up front about other people's doubts about FC. I appreciate her honesty in mentioning the controversy. I will not dismiss something that she believes helps Emily. At the same time I'd warn anyone who wishes to try FC to be very careful.
Not everyone is going to be a scholar or a poet. Love your child for who they are. Accept them for who they are. Being a parent is a gift.
I started reading with great interest since Emily is around the same age as my daughter. Much of Valerie's beginning search was so familiar to me. The top doctors and treatments were the same I read about when my daughter was young. The difference is that I didn't have the means to seek out these doctors or treatments that Valerie was able to.
When my child was very young I tried doing the ABA program myself. I could not afford any help. I found it to be too structured and tedious for a small child. It almost felt cruel. The program didn't seem like it was working either. I felt guilty for giving up on it at the time. Now, I feel that it is aimed at making the child "normal", which is of course not possible or desirable. So I agree with Valerie about ABA but for different reasons.
Valerie also mentioned how isolating having a child with autism is. She said that family and friends tend to distance themselves. Her family became a singular unit dealing with the diagnosis. I have also found this to be true.
Valerie's insights about the early years of Emily's schooling also rang true to me. Yes, often times the more inclusive, kind kids are from lower means. Wealthy kids often behave in a more entitled, snarky way.
It's also true that mainstreaming is not always what it's made out to be to parents. It can be awesome with the right teacher, but sadly many teachers don't want to take on the added responsibility. It's better for the child to be with a teacher trained in autism who understands the child in a small classroom with trained aides for support, than having a child in a large mainstream classroom neglected in a seat in the back.
Every kid with autism is different and has their own needs. No school program is perfect. Most schools do try to place children in the best programs. My feeling is that if the parents are involved and caring, and explore the best options, things will work out.
Working out doesn't mean your child will be cured. There's no magic with developmental disabilities. Amazing improvement happens. My child made tremendous strides. Greater than anyone ever imagined. But there is no cure or magic.
This brings me to my concerns about this book. I believe in science. Science does not support Facilitated Communication. I've watched Sue Rubin's movie "Autism is a World". I read Carly Fleischman's father's book and seen her videos. I have not seen anything that convinces me of the merits of FC.
Valerie mentions her concerns and is up front about other people's doubts about FC. I appreciate her honesty in mentioning the controversy. I will not dismiss something that she believes helps Emily. At the same time I'd warn anyone who wishes to try FC to be very careful.
Not everyone is going to be a scholar or a poet. Love your child for who they are. Accept them for who they are. Being a parent is a gift.
amysdenn's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
A good double sided perspective of autism
amber72113's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.5
kucaw99's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
hannahhazelpaul's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
sarlope12's review against another edition
3.0
I feel like I'm in a real pickle about this novel. On the one hand, this book was very informative. Almost everything in here was accessible to a person who might have no clue what autism is, or what treatments are available. On the other hand, it is so clear how narcissistic and damaging this book can be. If your child is autistic and you deny her the opportunity to begin communication in alternate ways because you're desperate to have your child communicate verbally, you are cruel. Emily could have begun using FC YEARS before she did. I believe it was close to a decade. That's a long time of no communication. All because Valerie was so focused on getting her to speak. It agonizes me. To me this is just as bad as families that are in denial about their children being deaf. Don't even get me started about Valerie's thoughts on finding out Emily was autistic. I don't know how Emily grew up in a clearly toxic environment with Valerie as her mother.
The main point that I would like to come across from this novel is that verbal communication is not the only form of communication. Emily's writing was fantastic and I wish Valerie had been left out of this novel altogether. Emily has a bright future if she chooses to write her own novels and I wish her nothing but success in her endeavors in that regard. Valerie should never write a novel again :)
The main point that I would like to come across from this novel is that verbal communication is not the only form of communication. Emily's writing was fantastic and I wish Valerie had been left out of this novel altogether. Emily has a bright future if she chooses to write her own novels and I wish her nothing but success in her endeavors in that regard. Valerie should never write a novel again :)