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lapinpuff's review against another edition
4.0
A woman struggles with an intense, restrictive eating disorder before finding herself in an intense, food-fuelled sexual relationship with a fat woman.
I read this a while ago, so please do forgive any memory-hazed errors! I found this book honestly quite refreshing in its depiction of (and lust for) fatness and weight gain--and though I am not fat myself, I do question certain accusations of fetishisation hurled at this novel. The majority of erotica will describe very thin bodies with deep aesthetic desire, so why is it viewed as dehumanising to do the exact same for fat bodies? I suppose that overt sexualisation of the fat body is so rare that, to some people, it may seem shocking and even disturbing. But craving fat bodies, even in the manner of a weight-gain kink, is completely fine. It's good to depict this! Seriously, how often do you get to see this stuff in fairly mainstream books? And our protagonist isn't dehumanising Miriam at all in the process, soo...
I honestly applaud the boldness required to just write something so beautifully self-indulgent and charged with sexual niche. I was not so much into the mock-incestuous fetish segments (public masturbation on an excercise bike also did nothing for me lol) but they are sparse and, well, I knew what I was signing up for. I understand these portions are mirroring Rachel's needs and personal issues. It would be sort of nice if older women could be written as desirable without being rendered automatically maternal; it always seems to me they are always forced to take the reigns of mother-figure to the person who desires them, regardless of their lives or personalities...and I do not so often see this with older men being fantasised about. Just a personal gripe. And again, the author can write whatever tilt of fantasy she wants.
As both Rachel and Miriam are Jewish (as my father is), it was refreshing to see an explicitly anti-zionist perspective implemented; Rachel is shunned and insulted By Miriam's family simply for being pro-Palestine. I know many Jewish people can relate to this. Rachel's character, already fairly fleshed out (forgive the pun...) by her therapy sessions, obsessions, and budding relationship with Miriam, is made moreso compelling through her strong, unshaking beliefs here. I found myself pleasantly surprised by it. The ending, though intentionally rather sad and unsatisfying, felt like a perfect closing point for the characters. There aren't always happy endings. Indeed women may end up in relationships they perhaps aren't fully okay with, particularly when sapphic--if you read Miriam as a lesbian specifically, her ending becomes even sadder.
On the topic, I perhaps would have liked to learn more about Miriam. She seems fascinating and, though she helps Rachel in ways, she is clearly steeped in her own personal conflicts. Through this she remains enigmatic. I feel her rather sheltered upbringing is the in-universe cause for this, though, so it makes enough sense.
Overall I enjoyed this read. I would like to give it a second crack now that I know more about the fetish beating at its heart. Matter-of-fact writing reflective of Rachel's routine-trained psyche, some nice splatters of imagery, and a firm sexual faultline which, although not personally very arousing for me (I don't read books to crank off to them, but I think it's totally fine to do), was sharp and refreshing. At times I'd say empowering. The fact this novel which so objectively frames a fat woman as viscerally desirable can be a bestseller, ever popping up on bookstagram aesthetic spreads...that's enough for me to feed it four creamy stars.
I read this a while ago, so please do forgive any memory-hazed errors! I found this book honestly quite refreshing in its depiction of (and lust for) fatness and weight gain--and though I am not fat myself, I do question certain accusations of fetishisation hurled at this novel. The majority of erotica will describe very thin bodies with deep aesthetic desire, so why is it viewed as dehumanising to do the exact same for fat bodies? I suppose that overt sexualisation of the fat body is so rare that, to some people, it may seem shocking and even disturbing. But craving fat bodies, even in the manner of a weight-gain kink, is completely fine. It's good to depict this! Seriously, how often do you get to see this stuff in fairly mainstream books? And our protagonist isn't dehumanising Miriam at all in the process, soo...
I honestly applaud the boldness required to just write something so beautifully self-indulgent and charged with sexual niche. I was not so much into the mock-incestuous fetish segments (public masturbation on an excercise bike also did nothing for me lol) but they are sparse and, well, I knew what I was signing up for. I understand these portions are mirroring Rachel's needs and personal issues. It would be sort of nice if older women could be written as desirable without being rendered automatically maternal; it always seems to me they are always forced to take the reigns of mother-figure to the person who desires them, regardless of their lives or personalities...and I do not so often see this with older men being fantasised about. Just a personal gripe. And again, the author can write whatever tilt of fantasy she wants.
As both Rachel and Miriam are Jewish (as my father is), it was refreshing to see an explicitly anti-zionist perspective implemented; Rachel is shunned and insulted By Miriam's family simply for being pro-Palestine. I know many Jewish people can relate to this. Rachel's character, already fairly fleshed out (forgive the pun...) by her therapy sessions, obsessions, and budding relationship with Miriam, is made moreso compelling through her strong, unshaking beliefs here. I found myself pleasantly surprised by it. The ending, though intentionally rather sad and unsatisfying, felt like a perfect closing point for the characters. There aren't always happy endings. Indeed women may end up in relationships they perhaps aren't fully okay with, particularly when sapphic--if you read Miriam as a lesbian specifically, her ending becomes even sadder.
On the topic, I perhaps would have liked to learn more about Miriam. She seems fascinating and, though she helps Rachel in ways, she is clearly steeped in her own personal conflicts. Through this she remains enigmatic. I feel her rather sheltered upbringing is the in-universe cause for this, though, so it makes enough sense.
Overall I enjoyed this read. I would like to give it a second crack now that I know more about the fetish beating at its heart. Matter-of-fact writing reflective of Rachel's routine-trained psyche, some nice splatters of imagery, and a firm sexual faultline which, although not personally very arousing for me (I don't read books to crank off to them, but I think it's totally fine to do), was sharp and refreshing. At times I'd say empowering. The fact this novel which so objectively frames a fat woman as viscerally desirable can be a bestseller, ever popping up on bookstagram aesthetic spreads...that's enough for me to feed it four creamy stars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Genocide, Mental illness, and Sexual content
nicoleanthony's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Homophobia, and Religious bigotry
Minor: Body shaming, Sexual content, and Antisemitism
hhhannahhh's review against another edition
dark
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder and Sexual content
Moderate: Biphobia, Islamophobia, and Lesbophobia
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Outing, and War
adoto's review against another edition
challenging
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
It took me a while to figure out how I feel about this book. I don't know if I loved the writing -- maybe it was Melissa Broder's audiobook narration, which was pretty bad. As weird as this book is and as deplorable the main character is, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. A lot of people say the sex scenes are badly written but I kinda liked them idk
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
thelittlestacorn's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
An interesting perspective on a woman finding herself and becoming her own champion, living her own life. Short chapters but be warned of disordered eating. Smut is written with offbeat descriptions.
"I wanted an infinite yogurt, a mystical and maternal yogurt, something of which I could have unlimited quantities that would not hurt me"
"I wanted an infinite yogurt, a mystical and maternal yogurt, something of which I could have unlimited quantities that would not hurt me"
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder
Moderate: Body shaming
sunbathingturtle's review against another edition
Just didn’t love the characters or premise as much as the Pisces. And reading the food rituals was (as intended) tedious. Felt like this wasn’t a book I was going to learn something new from, so no reason to finish if I wasn’t enjoying it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder
nettenicole's review against another edition
dark
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Fatphobia, and Lesbophobia
sillylilypilly's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Beautifully written and extremely bizarre. Kinda Freudian...but for the girls???
Content Warnings
Moderate: Eating disorder
fxti's review against another edition
challenging
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
rarísimo
sí me gustó
- las descripciones de la comida
- las metáforas sobre comida
- lo de la mano que van el deseo y el hambre en el libro
- el final realista
- el misticismo en el sentido de las profecías en la vida cotidiana y la neurosis palpable
- las descripciones de ed y pensamientos internos muy reales casi crudos
no me gustó
- las escenas sexuales, rachel tu deseo se siente por momentos super real y por momentos el de un varón describiendo sexo entre mujeres como q su pussy tenía olor a pescado y eso te prendía????
- el misticismo ??? no sé hubo partes que me re gustaron pero por ejemplo algunos sueños muy wtf y la situación golem ???
- la descripción tan objetivizada de miriam siento que no la quería por ella. al final la quería por su cuerpo y está bueno y rescato el deseo por una persona gorda pero siento que para rachel miriam era un cuerpo gordo hot y no una persona con sentimientos y toda la onda.
- a la hdp de miriam SOS UNA HDP
como vas a ir constantemente a c*ger y dsp decir ay pero es medio asqueroso dos chicas, lo poco querida que hacía sentir a rachel LO POCO DESEADA !!!! dios odio la homofobia internalizada la odio - suento q rachel medio q no aprendió nada ?? onda no quiero decir que el ed se le fue de la nada pq eso es mentir!! estaba claro el proceso por el que la autora quería que rachel pasara pero su sanación no se sintió tan real como su enfermedad
- lo fetichista que es dios mío !!! tuve que pausar y decir wtf en voz alta muchas veces
- siento que la descripción me vendió un libro distinto, hubo capitulos donde ni se la nombraba a la madre, el romance es inexistente y el fetichismo es inescapable
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Fatphobia, Homophobia, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Antisemitism
stellaa9's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder