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Reviews
What Doesn't Kill You: A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt by Tessa Miller
eleanormharte's review
5.0
I'm so glad WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU exists, and I'm so glad Bad Bitch Book Club read it for one of our picks this month. Tessa gives a very honest, raw look at what living with a chronic illness is like. It was hard to read her story of going from being a relatively healthy young woman to being bedbound, desperate for doctors to tell her what was wrong.
This is part memoir, part self-advocacy book, and part non-fiction. It does a great job of showing what it's like to live with a chronic illness and how those of us who love someone with one can support them better. It also exposes the flaws of the American healthcare system. I appreciated that Tessa was quick to acknowledge her privilege in many situations, and that she pointed out this is just one person's story. That said, it did give me a better view into life with chronic illness and how I can better support friends.
This is part memoir, part self-advocacy book, and part non-fiction. It does a great job of showing what it's like to live with a chronic illness and how those of us who love someone with one can support them better. It also exposes the flaws of the American healthcare system. I appreciated that Tessa was quick to acknowledge her privilege in many situations, and that she pointed out this is just one person's story. That said, it did give me a better view into life with chronic illness and how I can better support friends.
sonofachipwich's review
I wanted this to be more of a memoir than it was; actually, it's part life account, part field guide to navigating chronic illness. The memoir part was pretty good, and the guidebook part was quite eye-opening. Not relevant to me at the moment, but as an occupant of a human body which may become chronically ill and will certainly get old and infirm, it's all good to know.
my_forest_library's review against another edition
I'm going through similar health problems so it's hard for me to read about it.
mbonn012's review against another edition
5.0
Life changing
I am currently going through the grueling process of getting a diagnosis or rather diagnoses and I can't tell you how many nights I lie awake crying in pain. Having to wait do doctors appointments and then being gaslit into thinking I'm crazy or that its all in my head is so frustrating and depressing. Along with growing up in the mental health systems. I know what they think. Yet I still hope for things to be different. This book made me realize that I'm not crazy and I'm not alone in how I feel. My feelings and symptoms are valid and real and I deserve respect. I highly recommend this book for nor only chronically I'll folks but everyone. I learned so much from this and I've been living with chronic illness for years. Imagine what would happen if everyone picked up this book.
I am currently going through the grueling process of getting a diagnosis or rather diagnoses and I can't tell you how many nights I lie awake crying in pain. Having to wait do doctors appointments and then being gaslit into thinking I'm crazy or that its all in my head is so frustrating and depressing. Along with growing up in the mental health systems. I know what they think. Yet I still hope for things to be different. This book made me realize that I'm not crazy and I'm not alone in how I feel. My feelings and symptoms are valid and real and I deserve respect. I highly recommend this book for nor only chronically I'll folks but everyone. I learned so much from this and I've been living with chronic illness for years. Imagine what would happen if everyone picked up this book.
bookishplantmom's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
slow-paced
4.0
I am glad I read this book. The format was an interesting hybrid of memoir, health/body non-fiction and « self-help » or more like « here’s what I did and maybe it can help you too ». Some parts were really tough for me to get through and it was gut wrenching at times (no pun intended). Reading this as Trump returns to the White House made it particularly heavy emotionally.
jenna_x_w's review
5.0
I didn’t want the year to end without saying a few words about this one, which made my top 10 nonfiction of the year in a very strong nonfiction year.
Look, I work in mental health, as some of you know. Currently, a significant portion of my work relates to chronic illness and grief and loss. (After these past two years especially - everyone’s work in mental health does.)
As a result, I am always searching for good own-voices memoirs by survivors of chronic illness. They are proliferating lately, which is a good thing, because so is chronic illness and its poor misunderstanding and treatment, especially in women. Problem is, it’s been hard to find good memoirs I can recommend.
This one is my favorite so far. I know a nonfiction book is good when I acquire both the audio and the hard copy so I can almost always be reading it. Both versions are great and the audio is read by the author, who seems crazy talented. She’s a lovely, talented person and a great writer and reader.
Here are just a few things I like about it:
1. It’s super honest and descriptive, which is surely not easy when you’re talking about gastrointestinal chronic illness especially. But it’s super important - easily well over half of my clients at any given time are suffering from ailments of this system. Easily. And they are embarrassed and confused and silenced and dismissed.
2. The personal is political - and the author really goes beyond her personal story to get at the many larger systemic and institutional issues that obstruct effectively addressing chronic illness. She is a powerful voice and advocate.
3. One problem I have had with books of this type is that the author throws in a full autobiography. I mean, life is important and interesting and all, but not every detail and experience and event is relevant to the big story being told. This author strikes that balance exactly right. When she incorporates other autobiographical detail, it illuminates the larger theme of the book - for example, shedding light on risk factors for or impacts of illness, including other prevalent public health concerns like domestic violence and abuse.
4. In addition to self-advocacy tips for chronic illness survivors, she includes an awesome chapter with tips for loved ones and allies. One of the most disheartening things about working with survivors is learning how awful and unsupportive their family and friends and colleagues and providers and partners can be. The stories and direct quotes I hear are sincerely shocking. I mean, it’s hard to be a caregiver, I certainly know, but we can have empathy for that and encourage caregivers to take care of themselves too without being an actual asshole to the person with the actual illness.
5. Miller is always very aware and conscientious of her own privilege and takes care to acknowledge and address power, privilege and equity issues throughout the book, which doesn’t always happen in these types of books. Miller demonstrates awareness that adverse impacts from ability and health privilege status do not negate other privileges from which one may still benefit and others may not.
I’m sure there are other great things about this book that I’m forgetting to mention here, but aren’t these enough? This is a special book and I hope you will read it. Thanks so much to Miller for bravely and professionally writing it.
Look, I work in mental health, as some of you know. Currently, a significant portion of my work relates to chronic illness and grief and loss. (After these past two years especially - everyone’s work in mental health does.)
As a result, I am always searching for good own-voices memoirs by survivors of chronic illness. They are proliferating lately, which is a good thing, because so is chronic illness and its poor misunderstanding and treatment, especially in women. Problem is, it’s been hard to find good memoirs I can recommend.
This one is my favorite so far. I know a nonfiction book is good when I acquire both the audio and the hard copy so I can almost always be reading it. Both versions are great and the audio is read by the author, who seems crazy talented. She’s a lovely, talented person and a great writer and reader.
Here are just a few things I like about it:
1. It’s super honest and descriptive, which is surely not easy when you’re talking about gastrointestinal chronic illness especially. But it’s super important - easily well over half of my clients at any given time are suffering from ailments of this system. Easily. And they are embarrassed and confused and silenced and dismissed.
2. The personal is political - and the author really goes beyond her personal story to get at the many larger systemic and institutional issues that obstruct effectively addressing chronic illness. She is a powerful voice and advocate.
3. One problem I have had with books of this type is that the author throws in a full autobiography. I mean, life is important and interesting and all, but not every detail and experience and event is relevant to the big story being told. This author strikes that balance exactly right. When she incorporates other autobiographical detail, it illuminates the larger theme of the book - for example, shedding light on risk factors for or impacts of illness, including other prevalent public health concerns like domestic violence and abuse.
4. In addition to self-advocacy tips for chronic illness survivors, she includes an awesome chapter with tips for loved ones and allies. One of the most disheartening things about working with survivors is learning how awful and unsupportive their family and friends and colleagues and providers and partners can be. The stories and direct quotes I hear are sincerely shocking. I mean, it’s hard to be a caregiver, I certainly know, but we can have empathy for that and encourage caregivers to take care of themselves too without being an actual asshole to the person with the actual illness.
5. Miller is always very aware and conscientious of her own privilege and takes care to acknowledge and address power, privilege and equity issues throughout the book, which doesn’t always happen in these types of books. Miller demonstrates awareness that adverse impacts from ability and health privilege status do not negate other privileges from which one may still benefit and others may not.
I’m sure there are other great things about this book that I’m forgetting to mention here, but aren’t these enough? This is a special book and I hope you will read it. Thanks so much to Miller for bravely and professionally writing it.
thepaperwitch's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
medium-paced
4.0
An in-depth look at what it means to have IBD and Crohn's disease. Of course, this is one perspective, but it is very eye-opening and informative. It is memoir-like in her journey through her diagnosis, flairs, and recessions, but it also shows the numerous hardships and barriers that the healthcare system in America has that makes treatment difficult--and this is from a person with a lot of privilege compared to most of the country. There are a number of adjacent issues that people with chronic illnesses have to deal with, especially relating to their mental health, and I really appreciated that she dives into these issues. The book also has appendixes that focus on navigating these issues including: reporting a doctor, finding a good therapist, mental health resources, chronic illness and anxiety, how to talk about mental health medication, chronic illness and depression, medical PTSD, and wrongful termination.
Pick this up if you or someone you know deals with chronic illness and/or IBD or Crohn's disease specifically. I'd also recommend it to anyone looking to learn a little bit more about the chronic illness perspective.
Pick this up if you or someone you know deals with chronic illness and/or IBD or Crohn's disease specifically. I'd also recommend it to anyone looking to learn a little bit more about the chronic illness perspective.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness
Moderate: Medical content and Medical trauma
Minor: Eating disorder, Excrement, Grief, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
It's a book about specific chronic illnesses, so it is going to be discussing that in a straightforward way, but it is not vulgar.