Scan barcode
mirandalikesbooks's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I really liked this book! Trey, the POV character, is loveable in his flaws. You definitely end up rooting for him. I learned a lot about gay history and black history through the footnotes. I liked the footnotes and definitely missed them when I switched to the audiobook format!
My issue with the book is it feels as if some of the plot threads weren't fully fleshed out. I also think the ending was ABRUPT.
My issue with the book is it feels as if some of the plot threads weren't fully fleshed out. I also think the ending was ABRUPT.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Addiction, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Hate crime, Racial slurs, Violence, Grief, Murder, Toxic friendship, and Classism
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Police brutality, and Alcohol
iseefirede's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
A wonderful and informative read. I loved the footnotes with the history interwoven into the story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child death, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Violence, Vomit, Police brutality, Grief, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Outing, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic
saramarie_reads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Homophobia, Racism, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Police brutality, Medical content, and Pandemic/Epidemic
shansometimes's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I've never read anything like this book before. MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a fiction book that reads like a powerful, unsparing memoir. It's about, as the official description perfectly describes, "the personal and political awakening of a young gay Black man in 1980s NYC."
The main character, 18-year-old Trey, is trying to find his way in the city after intentionally estranging from his wealthy parents. A few things he's faced with include housing woes (and even a rent strike), grief over his brother's death during his childhood, and, perhaps most notably, the US government's deliberate inaction during the AIDS crisis.
MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a hard-hitting story with plenty of conflict and intrigue. There was always something happening in this story, so it kept my attention even though it was a little all over the place. It covered a lot—maybe too much, considering how short the book is. It's dramatic, educational, sexy, funny, and challenging. It won't be a book for every reader for many reasons, including the descriptive language around sex and drugs that some might find unbearably crude. However, given the reality of a person like Trey's life, a type of person who has absolutely existed throughout history, the content is honest and accurate.
My biggest gripe with this book intersects with my favorite thing about it. It's heavy on historical references and even uses real people (historical figures) as characters in the story. I questioned the ethics of that and the speculation and stereotyping it opens those figures up to. Real people, such as Dorothy Cotton, Larry Kramer, James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin (who played a major part in the story and is depicted as a frequent bathhouse patron), and many others, are characters in this novel. We don't know how much of their characterization is accurate and I've seen some reviewers call out some of it for being a misrepresentation of the person's life and activism. If I had led a significant life and someone wrote me into their novel having fictional sex in scenarios I might've never been in or saying things I might not have co-signed, I'd be pissed from the grave.
On the other hand, I learned a lot from this book because of the historical references and frequent footnotes about them. I love my career as a writer, but reading about Trey's burgeoning activism was exciting and made me long for my college dream of being a civil rights lawyer. A lot happened very quickly in this book, and it was informative and interesting in a unique way. And the writing is excellent, even though I questioned some of the storytelling choices. If you can handle a raw look at this era of history from an angle like Trey's, MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is definitely worth a read.
"The point is to let your bruised and bloodied bodies serve as evidence that the government means to kill you, if you so much as protest its bigoted policies."
"We are not so narrowly defined as society would have us believe. Yet the limits placed on our appetites, talents, and potential are implanted in us when we are children—too young to recognize the prisons built with words. We could blame it all on our families, but then we'd never find the keys to unlock our cells. The awful genius of our confinement is that we are both the prisoner and the warden. We tell ourselves daily that we aren't free to do this or do that because we are that or this. To escape such limited thinking, we don't have to look far. The keys are in our pocket."
"Robber barons, political overlords, and other powerful devils can reign with impunity for decades, and the terror they inflict on those of us beneath them can feel eternal. Yet there is one stone that will slay them all: time. Devils grow old, and the world around them eventually exceeds their understanding and control. Never forget that. Never let them forget it."
The main character, 18-year-old Trey, is trying to find his way in the city after intentionally estranging from his wealthy parents. A few things he's faced with include housing woes (and even a rent strike), grief over his brother's death during his childhood, and, perhaps most notably, the US government's deliberate inaction during the AIDS crisis.
MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is a hard-hitting story with plenty of conflict and intrigue. There was always something happening in this story, so it kept my attention even though it was a little all over the place. It covered a lot—maybe too much, considering how short the book is. It's dramatic, educational, sexy, funny, and challenging. It won't be a book for every reader for many reasons, including the descriptive language around sex and drugs that some might find unbearably crude. However, given the reality of a person like Trey's life, a type of person who has absolutely existed throughout history, the content is honest and accurate.
My biggest gripe with this book intersects with my favorite thing about it. It's heavy on historical references and even uses real people (historical figures) as characters in the story. I questioned the ethics of that and the speculation and stereotyping it opens those figures up to. Real people, such as Dorothy Cotton, Larry Kramer, James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin (who played a major part in the story and is depicted as a frequent bathhouse patron), and many others, are characters in this novel. We don't know how much of their characterization is accurate and I've seen some reviewers call out some of it for being a misrepresentation of the person's life and activism. If I had led a significant life and someone wrote me into their novel having fictional sex in scenarios I might've never been in or saying things I might not have co-signed, I'd be pissed from the grave.
On the other hand, I learned a lot from this book because of the historical references and frequent footnotes about them. I love my career as a writer, but reading about Trey's burgeoning activism was exciting and made me long for my college dream of being a civil rights lawyer. A lot happened very quickly in this book, and it was informative and interesting in a unique way. And the writing is excellent, even though I questioned some of the storytelling choices. If you can handle a raw look at this era of history from an angle like Trey's, MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME is definitely worth a read.
"The point is to let your bruised and bloodied bodies serve as evidence that the government means to kill you, if you so much as protest its bigoted policies."
"We are not so narrowly defined as society would have us believe. Yet the limits placed on our appetites, talents, and potential are implanted in us when we are children—too young to recognize the prisons built with words. We could blame it all on our families, but then we'd never find the keys to unlock our cells. The awful genius of our confinement is that we are both the prisoner and the warden. We tell ourselves daily that we aren't free to do this or do that because we are that or this. To escape such limited thinking, we don't have to look far. The keys are in our pocket."
"Robber barons, political overlords, and other powerful devils can reign with impunity for decades, and the terror they inflict on those of us beneath them can feel eternal. Yet there is one stone that will slay them all: time. Devils grow old, and the world around them eventually exceeds their understanding and control. Never forget that. Never let them forget it."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual content, Violence, Police brutality, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Child death, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Homophobia, Grief, Murder, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
bisexualbookshelf's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson is a powerful exploration of resilience and resistance, deeply rooted in the historical realities of the AIDS epidemic and the socio-political struggles of marginalized communities. What immediately captivated me were the footnotes that ground the story in real history, making it not only a compelling narrative but also an educational experience.
The characters in this book are raw and authentic from the very beginning. Trey, the protagonist, is depicted with such grit and grunge that the reader can vividly experience his struggles and triumphs. The depiction of poverty and its harsh realities is both heartbreaking and enlightening. It’s difficult to read about Trey internalizing his oppression, but his realization that "Positioned correctly, pawns can checkmate kings" is both empowering and emblematic of the book's central theme.
Newson’s commentary on the AIDS epidemic is both poignant and insightful. He effectively captures the essence of the era, reminding us that bathhouses were among the only safe spaces for queer individuals at the time. Many of Trey’s romantic and sexual encounters remind readers of the implicit dangers of having such limited options, drawing a stark connection between queerness and poverty. This historical context is crucial for understanding the socio-economic landscape of the time.
My Government Means to Kill Me does not shy away from painful truths. The descriptions of homophobic and racist stereotypes are difficult to read, but Trey’s defiance is inspiring. Newson's ability to weave Trey’s sly, resourceful nature into his survival story as a queer Black man is masterful. The narrative also sheds light on the historical practice of gay couples adopting each other for legal rights, highlighting both the ingenuity and the heartbreaking necessity of such actions.
While the book is incredibly powerful, the second half of the plot feels somewhat disjointed. The numerous subplots involving Trey’s family, romantic relationships, and activism sometimes lack cohesion. However, this does not significantly detract from the impact of the story.
My Government Means to Kill Me is a remarkable novel that combines historical insight with a deeply personal narrative. It effectively highlights the themes of political liberation and diverse representation, making it a vital read for anyone interested in social justice and queer history. Despite some minor plot issues, the book’s strengths in character development and thematic exploration earn it a solid 4.5 stars.
📖 Recommended For: Readers interested in the intersection of queer history and social justice, those who appreciate gritty and authentic character portrayals, admirers of historical fiction grounded in real events.
🔑 Key Themes: Queer Empowerment, The AIDS Epidemic, Poverty and Queerness, Housing Justice, Activism and Resistance, Intersectionality, Black Queer Experiences.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Homophobia, Racism, and Sexual assault
Minor: Child abuse, Child death, and Gun violence
rideauriverreads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Terminal illness, Police brutality, and Pandemic/Epidemic
brynalexa's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75
I think I would have engaged more with this book in print. The story is great and it’s well researched but it came off a bit textbook-like at times. It didn’t quite feel wrapped up at the end, although the main character came into his own wonderfully.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Cursing, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Police brutality, Medical content, Grief, Stalking, Murder, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Pandemic/Epidemic
naddl0r's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I'm giving this 5 stars because everything I’ve read was absolutely amazing BUT this book is in desperate need of an epilogue because it ends on a cliffhanger of the sorts where you feel like a chapter is missing. It’s so abrupt, the story just isn’t over. Also- and this is highly subjective- some might say it lacks a little bit of emotion. And I can see it but disagree. I think an overly emotional, gut- wrenching, hightlighting-the-sad-and terrible-parts-of-AIDS writing style would do this particular story no good.
I loved this book and can see myself re-reading it at some point. Well done, Rasheed Newson!
I loved this book and can see myself re-reading it at some point. Well done, Rasheed Newson!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Cancer, Child death, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Violence, Blood, Police brutality, Grief, Stalking, Murder, Lesbophobia, Outing, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Pandemic/Epidemic
ameliahelene's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Newson uses 80s queer politics as a backdrop to a beautiful narrative about loss and love and political action. His use of important historical moments and people made the text feel so real and heartbreaking. Definitely recommend if you want to know more about queer political history, but you’re not much of a non-fiction reader.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Racism, Sexual assault, Police brutality, Grief, and Outing
shainaseideneck's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Wow, what an impactful read.
In "My Government Means to Kill Me" by Rasheed Newson we follow Trey who has just moved to New York City for a new start in life. As a young, gay, black man he is on a journey to discover himself and his place in the world all while facing the impacts of the AIDS crisis during the 1980's.Trey's journey is one of strength and resilience. After experiencing a childhood tragedy for which he blames himself he branches out at 18 to start a new life in The Big Apple. Trey begins to explore his sexuality in one of the last remaining gay bath-houses where he meets a prominent civil rights activist and with his help discovers his passion for activism and trying to reconcile his guilt by contributing to ACT UP and other gay rights movements as well as managing his identity as a black man.
This story was a rollercoaster. From the start I felt as though I was reading a non-fiction memoir. This author's research into the time period and events that shaped it was impeccable and I learned a lot while reading this story without it feeling cumbersome. The footnotes included were helpful at piecing together the people, places and events that I was unfamiliar with.
From the start I felt drawn in by Trey's character. He is an 18 year old at the beginning of this story and just trying to make it through life. As a 30-year old I can still relate. He makes mistakes and learns to atone from them. Unlike myself, however, Trey has a whole lot of gumption. He does what he feels is right sometimes without thinking about the consequences. For example, lying about his connections to begin a successful rent strike. I could never. Its hard to put into words but the reason I loved this book is because I was brought along on Trey's journey every step of the way and felt every emotion. I am not a gay, black man but I could empathize with much of what Trey was going through. The journey to finding yourself is messy and along with shedding light on the politics of the time period and the injustices that are still faced by marginalized groups today my that is my biggest takeaway from this book. No matter how much we have to sacrifice or feel that we are struggling we need to continue to stand up for what we believe in and continue to learn and grow each day.
There is so much in this story that I am struggling to put into words and with that all I can say is please read this book. It is educational and emotional and even sordid at times but it will leave you thinking and impacted. A very important read so that we can remember how far we have come and how far we still need to go when it comes to righting injustices and fighting for equality in America.
**Thank you NetGalley for the e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review**
In "My Government Means to Kill Me" by Rasheed Newson we follow Trey who has just moved to New York City for a new start in life. As a young, gay, black man he is on a journey to discover himself and his place in the world all while facing the impacts of the AIDS crisis during the 1980's.Trey's journey is one of strength and resilience. After experiencing a childhood tragedy for which he blames himself he branches out at 18 to start a new life in The Big Apple. Trey begins to explore his sexuality in one of the last remaining gay bath-houses where he meets a prominent civil rights activist and with his help discovers his passion for activism and trying to reconcile his guilt by contributing to ACT UP and other gay rights movements as well as managing his identity as a black man.
This story was a rollercoaster. From the start I felt as though I was reading a non-fiction memoir. This author's research into the time period and events that shaped it was impeccable and I learned a lot while reading this story without it feeling cumbersome. The footnotes included were helpful at piecing together the people, places and events that I was unfamiliar with.
From the start I felt drawn in by Trey's character. He is an 18 year old at the beginning of this story and just trying to make it through life. As a 30-year old I can still relate. He makes mistakes and learns to atone from them. Unlike myself, however, Trey has a whole lot of gumption. He does what he feels is right sometimes without thinking about the consequences. For example, lying about his connections to begin a successful rent strike. I could never. Its hard to put into words but the reason I loved this book is because I was brought along on Trey's journey every step of the way and felt every emotion. I am not a gay, black man but I could empathize with much of what Trey was going through. The journey to finding yourself is messy and along with shedding light on the politics of the time period and the injustices that are still faced by marginalized groups today my that is my biggest takeaway from this book. No matter how much we have to sacrifice or feel that we are struggling we need to continue to stand up for what we believe in and continue to learn and grow each day.
There is so much in this story that I am struggling to put into words and with that all I can say is please read this book. It is educational and emotional and even sordid at times but it will leave you thinking and impacted. A very important read so that we can remember how far we have come and how far we still need to go when it comes to righting injustices and fighting for equality in America.
**Thank you NetGalley for the e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review**
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Racism, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, and Pandemic/Epidemic