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readingwithkaitlyn's review against another edition
challenging
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Violence, Lesbophobia, Outing, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Child abuse, Death, Drug use, Infidelity, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Alcoholism, Biphobia, Child death, Death, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicide, Excrement, Vomit, Murder, and Fire/Fire injury
use of f slurgrace_koalateareads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
“We can’t change those people’s minds. We just love louder and harder than they can hate.”
Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith was a difficult yet important read. The story is split into Pony’s (a trans boy) and Georgia’s (a cis girl) point of view. Both are seniors at a Texas high school just outside of Dallas. For Pony it’s all about going “stealth” and just being a normal guy, for Georgia it’s about cheerleading and being the person people expect her to be. I loved both of them so much, they had great personalities and felt real and genuine. I loved the puns, the banter and the deep and meaningful conversations.
“When the school treats trans students like they’re different, it gives the green light for the other kids to do the same, but kids are way meaner.”
The side characters were where my discomfort started, especially with Max, Pony’s “out and proud” best friend, who came across very “black and white” and wanting him to share things on social media that made him feel uncomfortable. I know the ending sort of cleared those things up, but it felt too rushed and too shiny (or gold, if you will) like it wasn’t real. Being “out and proud” is great, it’s awesome, but not if it isn’t safe to do so. It also made me uncomfortable with the amount of trans and queer slurs, especially as they didn’t need to be written down to get the point across.
“Some days, I barely think about being trans. And other days, it’s an obstacle course.”
Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the book, just not as much as I was expecting. A lot of really heavy topics were covered, such as transphobia, misgendering and forced outting - these weren’t the reason for my lower rating, but more how they were handled/written especially when a character was the one causing said topics. I was definitely hooked and finished the book in just over a day. It’s one that I think a lot of people, who don’t understand what being trans means, should read, however, overall it just made me feel drained.
“I raise my glass in toast and say (but not too loudly, “Here’s to being trans in Texas.””
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Violence, Outing, Toxic friendship, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Bullying, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Drug use, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, and Alcohol
sage_alexandra's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Transphobia, and Outing
Moderate: Toxic relationship and Toxic friendship
Minor: Deadnaming
katieduffy151's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
A great book to highlight the significant daily struggles of trans youth and what is unfortunately an all too common experience. The book is quite joyful and light-hearted at the beginning but a warning is needed because takes a drastic turn toward the end with incredibly violent scenes but I understand why it was included.
I would maybe suggest that this is a really insightful book for cisgender people to read in order to more fully understand the struggles of trans people (particularly teenagers), but a warning that it might be very triggering for those who are trans. I would like to think there are better books out there to read that highlight trans joy and love.
I still maintain Pony deserves better than Georgia. I also felt uncomfortable that his friend wouldn't respect his decision to go stealth given the potential safety risks, but I understand the issue of visibility is a complex one.
I would maybe suggest that this is a really insightful book for cisgender people to read in order to more fully understand the struggles of trans people (particularly teenagers), but a warning that it might be very triggering for those who are trans. I would like to think there are better books out there to read that highlight trans joy and love.
I still maintain Pony deserves better than Georgia. I also felt uncomfortable that his friend wouldn't respect his decision to go stealth given the potential safety risks, but I understand the issue of visibility is a complex one.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Violence, Outing, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Toxic relationship and Toxic friendship
that_bookworm_guy's review against another edition
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition.
First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.
First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this.
Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person.
The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning.
If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark.
There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname.
I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.
First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.
First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this.
Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person.
The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning.
If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark.
There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname.
I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Lesbophobia, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail
maxtiu's review
challenging
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.5
Both the protagonists are genuinely awful people. Nearly everyone in the book is transphobic, including the trans protagonist Pony, who shirks all aspects of transness, instead actively choosing toxic cisnormative masculinity, and is written for that to somehow be a sympathetic quality. After Pony gets brutally beaten for coming out , somehow everyone around him is magically accepting of his transness. The (trans?!) author doesn’t even get the traditional order of listing pronouns correctly. This is the kind of book that I hope cis people completely stay away from, as it should by no means represent trans people. Trans folks should stay away from it too; I felt like I was being gaslit just by reading this. Just…no.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Transphobia
Moderate: Deadnaming and Toxic relationship
Nearly every character in this book is transphobic, including both of the protagonists (one of whom is trans).oliviaskye's review against another edition
2.0
I was really disappointed by this book. I came into it with high hopes, but it really let me down. The reasons why contains spoilers, so read at your own risk.
I hated Georgia. I can understand not being comfortable with being with someone who is transgender, but the way she said she was worried that other people would think she was a lesbian if they found out, was so gross. Like the author should have kept it at Georgia explaining that she simply wasn’t comfortable because what she said was not only transphobic but lesbophobic as well. I understand that showing the challenges trans people face when dating is important, but to have it done with so much homophobia was not needed. Especially because at the end, Georgia really only seemed to come around because she noticed that there were more LGBT people at her school than she thought, which again, is an important realization, but for that to be the reason she becomes okay with being with Pony just didn’t sit right with me.
The other thing I didn’t like was Pony’s friend Max. Max was very open about being transgender, which is great, but I hate how he basically pressured Pony into coming out as well. Like that wasn’t Max’s choice to make for Pony; it was Pony’s. Trans people don’t owe it to their general peers to reveal that they’re trans. Being trans and proud is amazing, but it’s also okay if you don’t want to share that with people. I wish that was the message this book gave instead, especially because Pony was passing.
Overall, just very disappointed with the representation.
The other thing I didn’t like was Pony’s friend Max. Max was very open about being transgender, which is great, but I hate how he basically pressured Pony into coming out as well. Like that wasn’t Max’s choice to make for Pony; it was Pony’s. Trans people don’t owe it to their general peers to reveal that they’re trans. Being trans and proud is amazing, but it’s also okay if you don’t want to share that with people. I wish that was the message this book gave instead, especially because Pony was passing.
Overall, just very disappointed with the representation.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship and Transphobia
Moderate: Deadnaming and Lesbophobia
cupidities's review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Stay Gold repeats the transphobic tropes of trans YA novels past, spinning a story where trans identity is inherently tragic, where trans people deserve to be hurt, where transphobes always deserve forgiveness if they ask for it, and where cis people need to step in to save trans people (because we definitely can't save ourselves). Read to the end for citations on transphobic tropes and myths and why they're harmful, but I will be sharing some spoilers and referring to detailed moments of transphobia in this review.
Pony starts at a new school and decides to pass a cis guy rather than tell his new classmates that he's actually a trans guy. He is told, by every character except for Wendy (who is only in the story for half a page), that this is wrong of him, that he's "lying" and "pretending" by letting others assume he's cis. His friend Max, who is also trans, tells Pony that he can't stay silent to protect himself when other trans people are getting hurt everyday because they are "honest" about who they are. Georgia, Pony's love interest, tells him it was wrong of him to "lie" about who he was to get her to like him, bemoaning that she didn't know he was trans before they kissed. There are countless instances of people telling Pony that it's wrong of him to pass, all of which perpetuate the same cisnormative perspective: that trans people are predatory and dangerous, that they need to "trick" people into caring for them.
Not only do other characters hold this perspective, but Pony does, too. He apologizes profusely to Georgia, throughout the book, for "lying" by not telling her that he was trans (when? the moment they met? is that when he should have outed himself?), as though he was misleading her about who he really was. At the end of the book, he apologizes to his friends at his new school for not telling them he was trans. Pony feels immensely guilty for "hiding" his trans identity from everyone around him, perpetuating the idea that he "owes" his identity to others. This is harmful - trans people do not owe cis people anything, and especially not a heads-up that they are trans when, in this world, being openly trans means getting hurt.
Georgia ends up telling Pony that she won't date him specifically because he's trans - she's concerned that being associated with a trans guy will hurt her "image," and she also holds a homophobic (and inaccurate) fear that dating a trans guy makes her gay. She holds Pony's identity against him, leading him on only to reject him because she's scared about the impact that transphobia will have on her - though it's not framed that way, it's framed as the way that Pony being trans will hurt her, not the way that her peers' bigotry will hurt her.
This story also perpetuates wrong body discourse as an integral part of trans identity. Pony feels that he was born in the "wrong body," which is mentioned time and again through the story; he also imagines a "right body" for himself, seen in his VR avatar and his desire to be reincarnated as a cis guy. Wrong body discourse reduces trans identity down to anatomy, fixating on genitals and other characteristics (such as Pony's desire for a flat chest). This pathologizes and medicalizes trans identity, and also hyper-fixates on sexualized and fetishized parts of trans people's bodies. When Georgia finds out Pony is trans, she wonders about what is under his binder; when he is attacked by two peers, they pull up his binder and laugh at his chest - these violent fixations on Pony's body as not matching his gender are perpetuated by wrong body discourse.
Furthermore, there is no joy in this story (except briefly, as the byproduct of cis ally intervention) - this is a story of trans experience as inherently tragic. Pony is attacked by two classmates immediately after coming out as trans to his school, and this attack is described in extreme detail. Additionally, Pony has suicidal ideations, which are also very graphic and on the page. The framing of Pony's pain and depression make his - and other trans youth's - experiences seem the natural result of being trans, that being trans means to live a painful and violent life. Even Pony's friendship with Max, his trans friend, brings him pain as his friend rejects him. The only joy Pony finds is when his attacks finally make the cis people in his life realize that he is a person who should be loved. Georgia only changes her mind on dating him when she sees how "brave" he is for "sharing his truth" in front of the entire school - and that doing so got him violently attacked. Georgia then shares Pony's story, without his permission, in an article she writes for the school newspaper (an article that is also filled with plenty of statistics about violence against trans youth, but no statistics about trans joy) - Georgia, as an ally, speaks for and over Pony, and this is what makes Pony's classmates and parents finally see him as a person whose identity needs to be respected. It is only through cis intervention after transphobic violence that people start to accept Pony for who he is.
This book reads as though it was intended for cis audiences, without a thought given to how triggering it would be for trans readers. The first half is full of definitions (including normalizing outdated and offensive terms, like FTM), and the second half is full of explicit and vivid transphobia against Pony. Transphobic slurs are on the page. A violent attack against him is written in gratuitous detail. Pony's suicidal ideation becomes constant and graphic, reminding the reader that being trans has become too painful for Pony.
This story is packed full of trauma porn - as much transphobic trauma as possible, as though that's what's necessary to make cis readers start to be allies for trans people. This is a book about a trans guy being exposed to endless pain, while transphobes are inspired to change and become allies for him because of his suffering.
Also, all through the book, Pony's deadname keeps getting teased - he'll start to say the first syllable and then cut himself off. I had hoped that this meant his deadname wouldn't appear on page, which would at least be one thing handled alright - but nope! Right at the end, his dad drops his deadname in front of Georgia, and it's on the page, for no reason. His deadname actually being on the page doesn't add anything, except I guess satisfying cis readers' intrusive curiosity.
For further reading on transphobia:
Pony starts at a new school and decides to pass a cis guy rather than tell his new classmates that he's actually a trans guy. He is told, by every character except for Wendy (who is only in the story for half a page), that this is wrong of him, that he's "lying" and "pretending" by letting others assume he's cis. His friend Max, who is also trans, tells Pony that he can't stay silent to protect himself when other trans people are getting hurt everyday because they are "honest" about who they are. Georgia, Pony's love interest, tells him it was wrong of him to "lie" about who he was to get her to like him, bemoaning that she didn't know he was trans before they kissed. There are countless instances of people telling Pony that it's wrong of him to pass, all of which perpetuate the same cisnormative perspective: that trans people are predatory and dangerous, that they need to "trick" people into caring for them.
Not only do other characters hold this perspective, but Pony does, too. He apologizes profusely to Georgia, throughout the book, for "lying" by not telling her that he was trans (when? the moment they met? is that when he should have outed himself?), as though he was misleading her about who he really was. At the end of the book, he apologizes to his friends at his new school for not telling them he was trans. Pony feels immensely guilty for "hiding" his trans identity from everyone around him, perpetuating the idea that he "owes" his identity to others. This is harmful - trans people do not owe cis people anything, and especially not a heads-up that they are trans when, in this world, being openly trans means getting hurt.
Georgia ends up telling Pony that she won't date him specifically because he's trans - she's concerned that being associated with a trans guy will hurt her "image," and she also holds a homophobic (and inaccurate) fear that dating a trans guy makes her gay. She holds Pony's identity against him, leading him on only to reject him because she's scared about the impact that transphobia will have on her - though it's not framed that way, it's framed as the way that Pony being trans will hurt her, not the way that her peers' bigotry will hurt her.
This story also perpetuates wrong body discourse as an integral part of trans identity. Pony feels that he was born in the "wrong body," which is mentioned time and again through the story; he also imagines a "right body" for himself, seen in his VR avatar and his desire to be reincarnated as a cis guy. Wrong body discourse reduces trans identity down to anatomy, fixating on genitals and other characteristics (such as Pony's desire for a flat chest). This pathologizes and medicalizes trans identity, and also hyper-fixates on sexualized and fetishized parts of trans people's bodies. When Georgia finds out Pony is trans, she wonders about what is under his binder; when he is attacked by two peers, they pull up his binder and laugh at his chest - these violent fixations on Pony's body as not matching his gender are perpetuated by wrong body discourse.
Furthermore, there is no joy in this story (except briefly, as the byproduct of cis ally intervention) - this is a story of trans experience as inherently tragic. Pony is attacked by two classmates immediately after coming out as trans to his school, and this attack is described in extreme detail. Additionally, Pony has suicidal ideations, which are also very graphic and on the page. The framing of Pony's pain and depression make his - and other trans youth's - experiences seem the natural result of being trans, that being trans means to live a painful and violent life. Even Pony's friendship with Max, his trans friend, brings him pain as his friend rejects him. The only joy Pony finds is when his attacks finally make the cis people in his life realize that he is a person who should be loved. Georgia only changes her mind on dating him when she sees how "brave" he is for "sharing his truth" in front of the entire school - and that doing so got him violently attacked. Georgia then shares Pony's story, without his permission, in an article she writes for the school newspaper (an article that is also filled with plenty of statistics about violence against trans youth, but no statistics about trans joy) - Georgia, as an ally, speaks for and over Pony, and this is what makes Pony's classmates and parents finally see him as a person whose identity needs to be respected. It is only through cis intervention after transphobic violence that people start to accept Pony for who he is.
This book reads as though it was intended for cis audiences, without a thought given to how triggering it would be for trans readers. The first half is full of definitions (including normalizing outdated and offensive terms, like FTM), and the second half is full of explicit and vivid transphobia against Pony. Transphobic slurs are on the page. A violent attack against him is written in gratuitous detail. Pony's suicidal ideation becomes constant and graphic, reminding the reader that being trans has become too painful for Pony.
This story is packed full of trauma porn - as much transphobic trauma as possible, as though that's what's necessary to make cis readers start to be allies for trans people. This is a book about a trans guy being exposed to endless pain, while transphobes are inspired to change and become allies for him because of his suffering.
Also, all through the book, Pony's deadname keeps getting teased - he'll start to say the first syllable and then cut himself off. I had hoped that this meant his deadname wouldn't appear on page, which would at least be one thing handled alright - but nope! Right at the end, his dad drops his deadname in front of Georgia, and it's on the page, for no reason. His deadname actually being on the page doesn't add anything, except I guess satisfying cis readers' intrusive curiosity.
For further reading on transphobia:
Bradford, N.J., & Syed, M. (2019). Transnormativity and transgender identity development: A master narrative approach. Sex Roles, 81, 306-325. DOI: 10.1007/s11199-018-0992-7
Pini, B., Keys, W., & Riggs, D.W. (2018). Transphobic tropes and young adult fiction: An analysis of Brian Katcher’s Almost Perfect. The Lion and the Unicorn, 42(1), 57-72. DOI: 10.1353/uni.2018.0004
Putzi, J. (2017). “None of this ‘trapped-in-a-man’s-body’ bullshit”: Transgender girls and wrong-body discourse in young adult fiction. Tulsa Studies in Women’s Literature, 36(2), 423-448. DOI: 10.1353/tsw.2017.0029
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Deadnaming, Homophobia, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Violence
nonbinaryreading's review against another edition
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Deadnaming, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Violence
Moderate: Misogyny and Sexism
Minor: Death and Vomit