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wannabebookgirlie's review against another edition
5.0
5 Stars
This should be required reading material for every single student, boy or girl, in middle/high school. I've always said abuse is a science, because all abusers are the same, and this book proved it.
so, why does he do it? because he's an abuser. that's why. and no, he won't change.
This should be required reading material for every single student, boy or girl, in middle/high school. I've always said abuse is a science, because all abusers are the same, and this book proved it.
so, why does he do it? because he's an abuser. that's why. and no, he won't change.
imnotawitchimyourwife's review against another edition
5.0
This book should be required reading. It is an incredible resource for anyone in or around an abusive relationship, as well as an educational tool to understand and respond to abusive situations. I recommend it highly if you are in law, ministry, social, medical professions, or honestly any job that works closely with people. Bancroft tackles misconceptions of abuse (or chronic mistreatment of a partner), gives an outline of how it's perpetuated, and explains ways we can do better as a society. Well worth your time, I promise you.
Sidenote: I've seen criticisms from people who say Bancroft too loosely uses the word "abuse" to reference mistreatment, undermining, manipulating, etc, but I think those people don't understand how devastating verbal mistreatment can be if experienced continually. Verbal and emotional manipulation are also much less quick to be noticed as abusive, so it can continue and escalate much longer that straight up physical assault. He does a great job of explaining it, and having been in a verbally toxic and abusive relationship, I believe his somewhat broad definition to be spot on.
Sidenote: I've seen criticisms from people who say Bancroft too loosely uses the word "abuse" to reference mistreatment, undermining, manipulating, etc, but I think those people don't understand how devastating verbal mistreatment can be if experienced continually. Verbal and emotional manipulation are also much less quick to be noticed as abusive, so it can continue and escalate much longer that straight up physical assault. He does a great job of explaining it, and having been in a verbally toxic and abusive relationship, I believe his somewhat broad definition to be spot on.
kmacoz's review against another edition
I didn't finish because it wasn't all relevant for me, but what I read was very helpful.
pmhandley's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
This is a book any woman/any person who dates men should read. I would really like a new edition since it's about 20 years old, however most of the insight and advice here is evergreen. Really hammers down that the problem with abusers is their values, and until they actually change their value system, you will not see changes in behavior. Even if you are like me and have never experienced an abusive relationship, this is vital information so you know what to look out for, how to help those around you and how not to enable abusers.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Sexual violence and Violence