Reviews

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

rekiyomi's review against another edition

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4.0

-Abusers are in a delusion by believing that they are always right
-Abusers arent born with it, rather they are built to abuse
-Dont fall for the empathetic bullshit they throw at you to stay
-Find out abusive behaviours before its too late
-It is possible to change the perspective of an abuser
-However, leave asap once the abuse happens more than once

lauren_epub's review against another edition

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5.0

Read this because someone on Reddit recommended it, and boy am I glad I did!! The abusive behavior I have been dealing with is not coming from a romantic partner, but I still found myself highlighting things and having my entire concept of abuse turned on its head. It's like putting on glasses for the first time and noticing the leaves on trees! Except the glasses are the wise words of Lundy Bancroft, and the leaves are the real problem abusive people have (which is an attitude/worldview problem).

So revelatory I went out and bought a physical copy! Will be referring to it for years to come, especially the last few chapters about recognizing change.


nithyaez's review against another edition

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5.0

Absolutely incredible book. Fascinating, insightful, challenging, and surprisingly practical. I wish I could get every single person I know to read this book.

memelorddafirst's review against another edition

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informative slow-paced

4.0

annebap's review against another edition

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5.0

A very interesting and compassionate reading. I recommend to everyone who wants to help an abused woman understand her abusive partner.

aly___cat's review against another edition

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challenging dark informative slow-paced

5.0

alexandra_lh's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful informative reflective tense medium-paced

5.0

elothwen's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative medium-paced

5.0

gabbuz's review against another edition

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3.0

In a world where it is more than 30% chance to experience domestic abuse for me, as a woman, it seems important to understand this issue better.

The author has greatly expanded my understanding of abusive men. I have believed many myths! I thought men who abuse their loved ones must be mentally unstable or traumatised. However, it is not the case — most of them are mentally healthy, were not abused as kids nor mistreated in other ways throughout their life, nor is it low self-esteem or alcohol that causes it.

Author lists the types of men who tend to be abusive. It is not necessarily the aggressive, hyper-masculine-macho-man, some abusers can be exactly the opposite — sensitive, very liberal and so called “modern men”.

However, the book contains limitations. It could have been half shorter and I expected more scientifically based evidence.

kathymarie7's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0