alissabar's review against another edition
3.0
Great discussion book for book club. After reading this I had some interesting insights into my own relationships with family and friends.
sacrificebyfire's review against another edition
5.0
This is a literal story of not judging a book by its cover...
Someone I trust very deeply about such issues recommended I read this book called "Boundaries." When I found it at the library, I was horrified! It looked like a cheesy self-help book, and worse, it had won the Gold Medallion Book Award - "in recognition of excellence in Evangelical Christian literature." Needless to say, I was terrified; in no way do I self-identify as an Evengelical. But like I said before, I trusted this person, so I checked it out and started reading...
WOW.
I'll just go ahead and say I wasn't much for the "real life examples" they put in the book, but I recognize the need for them in the book. However, that was nearly my only complaint with the book.
Broken into three sections (What are Boundaries?, Boundary Conflicts, and Developing Healthy Boundaries), this books takes the reader through the entire scope of boundaries. We learn how they are formed/neglected in early childhood, why they are good, how they create healthier relationships with ourselves, others, and God, etc. I especially like this book because it is honest. It admits that "the Christian Church" is a major contributor to bad boundaries or boundary-less people, but point out what the Bible really tells us about our boundaries with self, God, and others. It also tells the reader that creating boundaries is not really the most pleasant experience - it will make us happier and better people in the long run - but at first we will have intense feelings (anger, guilt, hurt) that mean we're probably successfully establishing boundaries, and that some so-called "relationships" may be lost in this growing process. It also was helpful because it addressed all human relationships: parents, children, romantic/spouses, and work.
I highly recommend this book to, well, everyone. I don't think there is a person out there who couldn't find something helpful in its pages. I would even recommend it to people who aren't especially religious or adhere to one faith (I'm not "textbook Christian" if there is such a thing, and I ignored the part where they said something complimentary about James Dobson). Biblical references aside, it offers us helpful tools and thoughts for happier, healthier, and more meaningful lives. It's one I will probably revisit many times over the coming years...
Someone I trust very deeply about such issues recommended I read this book called "Boundaries." When I found it at the library, I was horrified! It looked like a cheesy self-help book, and worse, it had won the Gold Medallion Book Award - "in recognition of excellence in Evangelical Christian literature." Needless to say, I was terrified; in no way do I self-identify as an Evengelical. But like I said before, I trusted this person, so I checked it out and started reading...
WOW.
I'll just go ahead and say I wasn't much for the "real life examples" they put in the book, but I recognize the need for them in the book. However, that was nearly my only complaint with the book.
Broken into three sections (What are Boundaries?, Boundary Conflicts, and Developing Healthy Boundaries), this books takes the reader through the entire scope of boundaries. We learn how they are formed/neglected in early childhood, why they are good, how they create healthier relationships with ourselves, others, and God, etc. I especially like this book because it is honest. It admits that "the Christian Church" is a major contributor to bad boundaries or boundary-less people, but point out what the Bible really tells us about our boundaries with self, God, and others. It also tells the reader that creating boundaries is not really the most pleasant experience - it will make us happier and better people in the long run - but at first we will have intense feelings (anger, guilt, hurt) that mean we're probably successfully establishing boundaries, and that some so-called "relationships" may be lost in this growing process. It also was helpful because it addressed all human relationships: parents, children, romantic/spouses, and work.
I highly recommend this book to, well, everyone. I don't think there is a person out there who couldn't find something helpful in its pages. I would even recommend it to people who aren't especially religious or adhere to one faith (I'm not "textbook Christian" if there is such a thing, and I ignored the part where they said something complimentary about James Dobson). Biblical references aside, it offers us helpful tools and thoughts for happier, healthier, and more meaningful lives. It's one I will probably revisit many times over the coming years...
jvanee's review against another edition
It no small thing to say as a social worker but this book changed my entire outlook on my relationships and my profession.
dwheeler88's review against another edition
3.0
This book has some really good concepts, stories, and suggestions for people with boundary problems. I found more that I don’t have as many of the issues and the average Joe! For me, this book was extremely repetitive. There were a couple chapters, though, that I really enjoyed: Children, Digital Age, and Self come to mind.
lynnaeaowens's review against another edition
5.0
Why I Read It: My sister said it pretty much perfectly explains our family dynamics and that I had to read it.
Premise: Christian self-help on the biblical basis for why we need boundaries, how to decide what your boundaries are, and how to implement them in different areas of life (work, kids, spouse, friends, etc.)
What I Liked:
This book is a LIFE CHANGER. It helped me gain more perspective on how I, not the other person, is the problem in my complicated relationships! This is so extremely beneficial because we all know we can only control ourselves. I loved how there were different chapters focusing on different relationship areas with concrete advice and examples. All explanations were very clear and were supplemented with a lot of bible verses to support the biblical basis of the different premises the authors are promoting. The chapter on boundaries with God was completely new to me and super interesting!
What I Didn’t Like:
The very intense developmental focus was sometimes unhelpful (as I don't currently have kids...). I was more interested in dealing with adult boundaries than on how to shape them in children. However, these parts still provided good insight into WHY I, and the people I know, have different boundary issues.
Verdict: 5/5. I seriously cannot stop talking about what I learned from this book! So relevant for every relationship in my life.
Premise: Christian self-help on the biblical basis for why we need boundaries, how to decide what your boundaries are, and how to implement them in different areas of life (work, kids, spouse, friends, etc.)
What I Liked:
This book is a LIFE CHANGER. It helped me gain more perspective on how I, not the other person, is the problem in my complicated relationships! This is so extremely beneficial because we all know we can only control ourselves. I loved how there were different chapters focusing on different relationship areas with concrete advice and examples. All explanations were very clear and were supplemented with a lot of bible verses to support the biblical basis of the different premises the authors are promoting. The chapter on boundaries with God was completely new to me and super interesting!
What I Didn’t Like:
The very intense developmental focus was sometimes unhelpful (as I don't currently have kids...). I was more interested in dealing with adult boundaries than on how to shape them in children. However, these parts still provided good insight into WHY I, and the people I know, have different boundary issues.
Verdict: 5/5. I seriously cannot stop talking about what I learned from this book! So relevant for every relationship in my life.
kamrynharned's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
3.5
There were some helpful nuggets in this book! I listened to the abridged audio version and I’m sure if I was reading, more would have stuck. I felt like the writing style was overly simplistic and general at times, but the concepts of this book really are relevant to everyone, and they cover all the major relationships where boundaries can be the biggest struggle!
katethegreat92's review against another edition
3.0
The concepts and ideas were good and helpful. But the examples were long and dry which made it a hard read to get through. Also some of the ideas are problematic regarding abusive situations. There was an implied message about the ways that boundaries can solve even abusive situations, without any clarifications or warnings.
naodavis's review against another edition
1.0
If I could give a book less than one star this one would deserve it. I was looking forward to reading a book about setting and maintaining healthy boundaries but this one sadly missed the mark in so many ways. It took a grossly misogynistic and victim blaming tone throughout the entirety of the book and it took me several months to get through this one because of how gross it was at times. Strongly do not recommend.
qalbtalk's review against another edition
3.0
I’ve always been wary of “self-help” books as they tend to contain a lot of psychobabble. I also feel like sometimes you can do yourself a disservice by reading such books because many don’t offer an action plan for tangible changes. What good is knowledge that doesn’t benefit?
I liked the premise of the book, however, it was too simplistic in many areas. Maybe I’m a bit more self-aware and at a point where I’m seeking complex, actionable advice. I did like the tie-in to faith because it’s such a huge part of my life. I am definitely willing to challenge my biases and keep an open mind when it comes to this genre! Perhaps the author’s other books will prove more fruitful.
I liked the premise of the book, however, it was too simplistic in many areas. Maybe I’m a bit more self-aware and at a point where I’m seeking complex, actionable advice. I did like the tie-in to faith because it’s such a huge part of my life. I am definitely willing to challenge my biases and keep an open mind when it comes to this genre! Perhaps the author’s other books will prove more fruitful.