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greeeer_e_rutt's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.75
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, Car accident, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Medical content, Cultural appropriation, Toxic friendship, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
haileyybugg's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Graphic: Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Grief
ah_nailse's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Suicide attempt
theverycraftyvegan's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This was not an easy book to read. I took a few breaks to feel my feelings before picking it back up. That being said, Jennifer Niven did an amazing job of showing Violet and Finch’s worlds colliding, melding, and ripping apart.
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, Car accident, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Toxic relationship and Alcohol
Minor: Cursing and Sexual content
whatbidoureads's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.25
I bought this book when it first came out and left it on the shelf because the main topic is one that hits close to home.
Then a movie came out (because every best seller needs a movie am I right…) and I watched it. I know you’ll say you should read the book first blablabla and most times I agree with you. But this time I don’t.
The movie I watched, even “enjoyed” to some extent.
BUT THE BOOK.
I usually put a book down when I don’t like it but I finished this one just to write a review. Bare with me as I try to word it out in a clear nice way.
As someone who has an understanding, and first hand experience of the main topics in this book I would never recommend it to someone. I’d go as far as to say it can cause so much harm if I’m the wrong hands (aka someone dealing with S.A and mental illnesses).
I understand this book was written by a survivor of suicide through the loss of a friend and it almost feels like an autobiography dedicated to the love Jennifer had for her friend, and I can get behind that. (note: everyone’s grieving process is different, and I am in no way undermining her grief, or the process she has gone through)
But the take she has on mental illness, and teenagers is appalling.
At no point was there any indication of character growth towards that, or any indication of help he could have gotten from others. So on one hand you have Violet, main character, good growth, she eventually grieves all her losses (without any counseling, help group, friend or family’s help but finch - like what), and Finch who was left for dead from the beginning of the book.
There’s a few topics that annoyed me in this book as well, and that in my eyes are cannot be overlooked as they are everywhere in the book.
- Talk of mental illnesses in the sense that some characters are simply restricted to their illness (such as
-
- body shaming,
- Speech about the girls in the book (they are looked down upon),
- the lack of adult/parental figure. In fact there was literally NO ONE helping Finch to get better.
Overall, this book is very disappointing and if you skip it, you won’t miss anything unfortunately..
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Body shaming, Bullying, Death, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Self harm, Car accident, and Abandonment
the_true_monroe's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Starting off with what I disliked.
While I appreciate the author’s note and how personal this book is to the author, and how there was a lot of research into mental health and suicide, I could not see much past how badly certain topics were portrayed. Not in the way of “everyone grieves differently” or “this is real life” because all of that is true- this book did not need a happy ending and it was important to include a lot of the stuff we wish did not happen- but in how some things that were very inappropriate or not recommended were not even touched upon.
One thing I wish there was more of in the book was that suicide support group. Although that was not really a realistic portrayal of a group (at least one that is run well) as they literally had everyone share their diagnoses and method of previous suicide attempt (which today goes against safe suicide messaging) introducing another part of who Amanda was was really nice even if she did horribly out Finch to Violet despite her knowing how much she would hate of anyone knew she herself was there.Although it was all nice when Ryan and Amanda joined Violet and Finch’s other friends for a tribute to Finch, we did not have enough character development of Amanda and especially Ryan to justify them being any different from the other mourners at the school who at best never paid any attention to Finch and at worst tormented him.
Also, Finch was pretty coercive and pushy towards Violet such as when he ripped up her note twice when she did not have a direct “yes” … like cool, you are looking for direct consent but you did not except anything but that.
And now, what I appreciated!
I did like Finch’s counselor - he was genuine and even though he started out kind of “eh” for me, he was actually direct with Finch and tried so much to help him beyond actually making him get additional help, which he acknowledges he could have done more anyway. And also, people need to want to get help and Finch did, multiple times. But even the people who fight most against suicide- for themselves and others- end up dying by suicide. And even though people say this book romanticized suicide (which I can see, especially with Violet going on the journey to visit the remaining wandering spots), I think having seen Finch in so many different states of mind- the backs and forths of what his illness does to him, and how he KNEW he wanted to live at so many points, and appreciated life and being awake- he still ended up taking his life. And that happens… a lot. Some of the best advocates for suicide prevention die by suicide even with years of saying “there is always help” and “I am here for you”. I am a suicide prevention advocate myself but also know that a lot of messaging around suicide prevention can make it seem like loved ones did something wrong or did not try hard enough. This books gets that right- how that is in no way true and suicide prevention is not about you as one person preventing a suicide but it is a collective effort across the lifespan for people to recognize the signs, and have the resources to help both themselves and others.
Closing thoughts:
While I clearly disliked this book overall, I am so glad I read it. As a suicide prevention advocate it is interesting to me to read and watch different portrayals of mental health and suicide over time. Even since this was written in 2015, so much has changed to where I know the movie addressed some things that this book did not (although I need to watch it still). I feel like if I read it around when it came out, I would have loved this as I did Thirteen Reasons Why.
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Stalking and Toxic friendship
Minor: Ableism, Animal death, Eating disorder, Homophobia, Sexual content, and Car accident
maddie1113's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Toxic relationship
ems_rxlibrary's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Sexual content
charli_bear's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
4.5
Graphic: Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Sexual content and Car accident
chuckielittle's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Parts of it did feel an awful lot like info-dumping, but it was all important, valuable, and relevant information that added to the storyline and filled it out more.
Heartbreaking, hopeful, and cathartic, to sum up.
Graphic: Bullying, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, and Grief
Moderate: Death, Toxic relationship, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Animal death, Child abuse, Self harm, Suicide, Car accident, Suicide attempt, and Alcohol