Reviews with content warning for Mental illness - A Woman Is No Man

There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence.

Two excerpts that showcase these themes:

"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."

"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."

With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.

Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.

Content Warnings

ratnix's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.75

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bookishbaker25's review against another edition

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sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

A Woman is No Man is a standout read of the year, easily making it into my top 10. From the very first page, I found myself completely absorbed in the story, holding my breath until the end. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it even more than I expected.

For fans of Khaled Hosseini's storytelling, Rum's narrative will resonate deeply. She skillfully captures a sense of despair and sadness that runs through the entire book. The characters weave together seamlessly, yet the reader is constantly faced with the harsh reality of the abuse and hopelessness they endure.

The book not only explores domestic violence but also sheds light on how cultural norms and expectations contribute to systemic abuse. While it's important not to stereotype an entire culture, it's equally important to acknowledge the struggles of women who face such challenges daily. Rum gives voice to the marginalized, highlighting their experiences.

While I appreciated the book's structure, with multiple points of view spanning three generations, there were moments where the story felt repetitive, slowing down the pace.

All in all, I think this is a great read, but please beware, it is a heavy and hard book to get through!

Content Warnings

cosymidlifebooknook's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No

4.0

Three generations of Palestinian-American women living in Brooklyn are torn between individual desire and the strict senses of right and wrong in Arab culture. A Woman Is No Man is a heart-wrenching story of love, intrigue, strength and courage.

We follow the inter-twinning stories of Isra, her daughter Deya, and her oppressive mother-in-law Fareeda, exploring the complexities of family, culture, identity and honour.

Palestine 1990. 17 year book loving Isra is quickly married off and moves to Brooklyn, America with dreams of more freedom for a woman, but struggles to adapt to the control and the expectations of her mother-in-law Fareeda and strange new husband Adam.

Brooklyn 2008. Isra's eldest daughter 18 year old Deya wants to go to college but her grandmother Fareeda is insistent on her meeting potential suitors.

CW/TW: This book contains themes related to domestic abuse, emotional abuse, mental illness which may be distressing or triggering for some readers.

My Bookish Thoughts 💬
To say I enjoyed reading this book doesn't seem right, I feel the book is important for shedding light on the often silenced voices of women within conservative communities in this day and age and closer to home than we might think.

These are heartbreaking stories from women who are denied access to freedom to live, choose love and be educated. Women whose roles are as baby making machines to male heirs and to carry out the daily grind of never ending domestic chores.

The woman face oppression, shame, verbal and physical abuse and secrets slowly unfold to provide a heartbreaking and chilling story that needs to be told.

I thought the characters were well portrayed and evoked a wide range of emotions in me. It's not an easy read but it's definitely a compelling and thought provoking read.

Content Warnings

michaelion's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I read Evil Eye last month and gave it 5 stars, and it's near impossible for me to give things 5 stars, so I figured this woman must be amazing I gotta read what else she has. Only one other book?! How heartbreaking! I need more! Etaf Rum the woman that you are!!!

I do feel that if I had read this book first and Evil Eye second, I still would've given Evil Eye 5 stars. These books were written for the culture. Not my culture, but the importance of them, the weight of them, were not just to represent Palestinians and Arabs, but to show other Arabs "this is who we are, we have stories to tell, and we have to be honest with ourselves" and I love that SO much. Etaf Rum you will always be famous!!!

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jordynkw's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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lilystheme's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i fucking love this book my god

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