Reviews

Before My Actual Heart Breaks by Tish Delaney

whatstavreads's review against another edition

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fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? N/A
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

my first book of '24 turned out to be a five star page-turner that almost broke my heart. 

northern ireland in the '70s. mary rattigan grows up in a society shaken up by the troubles, while her home life is being terrorized by a deeply religious mother and a kind, but emotionally distant father. mary learns to taste the the bitter absence of love early on. driven by her hunger for love and affection she finds herself pregnant at sixteen and so all of the dreams she made for herself and her future in america seem to evaporate.

mary had spent her adulthood chasing the what if's of her youth, that she almost lost sight of all the love that surrounded her right there in the life she found herself forced upon her. it shows the silent sorrows of a generation that where emotionally starved.
the prose and usage of irish slang was so well done. even though the end seemed  somewhat anticlimactic, it was a beautiful story about the hunger for love and it's absence, the resentment, and the quiet forgiveness that follows if one is willing to claim it. 

_inge's review against another edition

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challenging dark reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Initially I couldn’t really get into this. The prose is heavily literary (the acknowledgements mention two poets who contributed, which doesn’t surprise me) and the inclusion of (to me) unknown Irish words made it a confusing read at times. On top of that, the story was very slow-paced and didn’t seem to have a clear direction. For a while I contemplated DNF’ing it, but when I’d put the book down after 40 pages or so I noticed I could easily remember every character afterwards. The Hill was easy to imagine, and I could still hear these characters in my head, which is usually my sign to keep on reading. After the 100 page mark, things started picking up more. I’d gotten used to Irish and the general writing style by that time as well. From that point onwards, I flew through this. I really appreciated that this novel stayed true to the time-period in particular. That might mean that these characters don’t do what we want them to do, but it does mean they’re very realistic.

It weirdly reminds me of Shuggie Bain? No one is particularly likeable, but their circumstances aren't either so you do understand why. Family dynamics and communities play a part here, too. The overall atmosphere might be a bit depressing at times, and yet there's always a flicker of hope that keeps you reading.

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elliemx's review against another edition

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5.0

I listened to the audiobook (beautifully read by Saoirse-Monica Jackson) and ended up purchasing a hard copy too because I had to have such a heartbreakingly beautiful story on my shelf. I felt so much for Mary. I felt like I went on such a journey with her and I don’t think I’ve ever rooted more for a character’s happiness. I gasped, I laughed, I cried so much I had a headache. Such intrinsic details and the author does such a good job setting the scene of such a dreadful time in Northern Irish history. I’m going to feel lost without this book.

kayleighdiboll's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

thebookishkimmy's review against another edition

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4.0

My heart may have actually broken while reading this. The book is set in Northern Ireland in the 1970s and follows the life of Mary, a young girl who dreams of leaving her abusive mother and emotionally absent father for the freedom of America. Mary’s dreams are broken when she discovers she is pregnant at 16 and forced into an arranged marriage with a local farmer who has his own painful past.

Mary and John are together for 25 years and go on to have more children. Their relationship is strange, filled with hate, anger, bitterness and resentment and yet there’s something that has kept them together all this time. In the background is the war between Protestants and Catholic’s, the IRA and bombings that brings more fear and trauma to Mary resulting in a refusal to leave the farm and make something else of her life. This also causes tension between Mary and John. Mary feels like she can’t do anything right and only begins to soften towards John once she discovers the story of his past.

This book felt raw and vulnerable and I truly ached in places. It is heavily character driven and from the point of view of Mary as we follow her growth from confused and broken teenager, through all the hardships, and eventually into an adult. Mary has experienced a lot of trauma and pain and while she does make some poor choices I really couldn’t but sympathise with her and will to stand up for her.

Thank you to Random House for the advanced copy in exchange for a review. This book will be released next year and I encourage you to check it out if you like stories a little meaty. I won’t forget it anytime soon.

michig's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

ftideman's review against another edition

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4.0

It took me a little while to get into it, but once I did, this book completely had my heart. It was so painful to watch Mary see the world and specifically John in this way, but also such an accurate representation of the effects of physical and emotional abuse. The story was beautifully woven between historical events in Northern Ireland, to show how her entire life was the farm and yet she was also acutely aware of how the world moved on. I felt frustrated by the miscommunication between her and John, which Tish captured perfectly. Only thing I will say is that before reading I saw some reviews mention it being a funny novel, when I really didn't laugh much - mainly cry!

quokkaboba's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

kell87's review

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4.0

This book was captivating. The characters and descriptions of living in Northern Ireland were fascinating; I couldn't put it down. Unfortunately the ending is why it got 4*

fayew80's review

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emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No

4.25