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fayew80's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.25
lailat's review against another edition
4.0
Mary Rattigan, growing up in Northern Ireland during the Troubles, knew she was going to leave one day. She wasn’t sure where, or how, but she knew it would happen. 30 minutes and one teenage pregnancy later, things haven’t gone quite as planned. Now she’s got five children, yet she’s alone and still living in Northern Ireland.
This is a coming of age novel set in Northern Ireland during the height of the Troubles. Based on the synopsis, it’s not one I would have picked out myself if it hadn’t been so hyped on Bookstagram, but I’m glad I did.
Bleak, beautifully written yet understated, Before My Actual Heart Breaks is full of rich characterisation - from Mary’s abusive mother to her larger than life best friend. I found myself rooting for Mary, and my heart did actually break when she was knocked down again and again both through life events and her acceptance of her less than ideal life.
Describing bombs, the IRA and the conflict between Catholics and Protestants, it’s clear that author Tish Delaney was living in Northern Ireland during the height of the troubles. She paints a vivid picture of the impact it had on families and their lives.
An excellent debut full of regret and wasted years, it’s a lesson in appreciating what you have, and asking for what you want, before it’s too late.
This is a coming of age novel set in Northern Ireland during the height of the Troubles. Based on the synopsis, it’s not one I would have picked out myself if it hadn’t been so hyped on Bookstagram, but I’m glad I did.
Bleak, beautifully written yet understated, Before My Actual Heart Breaks is full of rich characterisation - from Mary’s abusive mother to her larger than life best friend. I found myself rooting for Mary, and my heart did actually break when she was knocked down again and again both through life events and her acceptance of her less than ideal life.
Describing bombs, the IRA and the conflict between Catholics and Protestants, it’s clear that author Tish Delaney was living in Northern Ireland during the height of the troubles. She paints a vivid picture of the impact it had on families and their lives.
An excellent debut full of regret and wasted years, it’s a lesson in appreciating what you have, and asking for what you want, before it’s too late.
kimlouiseb's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.25
laura0517's review against another edition
5.0
I think my heart did actually break on a number of occasions for dear Mary.
I just loved this book. It was frustrating at times, how self sabotaging Mary was, but it was also believable given the context of her upbringing and the times she lived in.
I was pleased Mary and John found each other in the end but I’m annoyed he seemingly got away with disappearing for over a year. And I’m sad at the wasted decades they had with each other but not truly with each other.
I did feel there was a lesson to be learned from Mary, that even if you are not living the life you thought you wanted, doesn’t mean the grass is greener or that life would have been any better. That others living the life you wanted (like Mary’s friend Lizzie) are not free from sadness and regret either.
I just loved this book. It was frustrating at times, how self sabotaging Mary was, but it was also believable given the context of her upbringing and the times she lived in.
I was pleased Mary and John found each other in the end but I’m annoyed he seemingly got away with disappearing for over a year. And I’m sad at the wasted decades they had with each other but not truly with each other.
I did feel there was a lesson to be learned from Mary, that even if you are not living the life you thought you wanted, doesn’t mean the grass is greener or that life would have been any better. That others living the life you wanted (like Mary’s friend Lizzie) are not free from sadness and regret either.
juliananemezio's review against another edition
4.0
acho que a melhor forma de resumir esse livro é por um quote de bag of bones do stephen king: "it's not a question of love or affection. I can give those and I can take them. I feel pain like anyone else. I need to touch and be touched. But if someone asks me, "are you alright?" I can't answer no. I can't say help me."
por vezes eu fiquei irritada pela falta de comunicação entre a mary e o john, por mais de 25 anos. mas eu entendi os fatores que levaram à isso. a mary teve seus sonhos interrompidos por uma gravidez aos 16 anos, e algo dentro dela a impediu de seguir totalmente com a vida, pq ela ainda se via como a garota que queria seguir com os estudos e ir para os estados unidos. ela também foi fruto das violências da mãe, uma mulher que usava do catolicismo pra impor uma ditadura sob seu teto. então, a única visão dela era: lidar com as surras da mãe, e casar-se com um homem com quem ela não queria casar, e viver em algum lugar que não queria viver até que ela não conseguisse imaginar outra vida. também vejo que é difícil pedir coisas (como por exemplo, ser mais aberta emocionalmente) que ela nunca foi ensinada a ser. ao longo dos anos, ela cai em uma autocomiseração profunda.
a leitura é muito emotiva, contém alguns temas pesados (estupro, aborto, guerra, morte), mas também achei bem sensível. algumas coisas me foram estranhas na história, mas vou deixar entre 3.5 e 4 estrelas.
por vezes eu fiquei irritada pela falta de comunicação entre a mary e o john, por mais de 25 anos. mas eu entendi os fatores que levaram à isso. a mary teve seus sonhos interrompidos por uma gravidez aos 16 anos, e algo dentro dela a impediu de seguir totalmente com a vida, pq ela ainda se via como a garota que queria seguir com os estudos e ir para os estados unidos. ela também foi fruto das violências da mãe, uma mulher que usava do catolicismo pra impor uma ditadura sob seu teto. então, a única visão dela era: lidar com as surras da mãe, e casar-se com um homem com quem ela não queria casar, e viver em algum lugar que não queria viver até que ela não conseguisse imaginar outra vida. também vejo que é difícil pedir coisas (como por exemplo, ser mais aberta emocionalmente) que ela nunca foi ensinada a ser. ao longo dos anos, ela cai em uma autocomiseração profunda.
a leitura é muito emotiva, contém alguns temas pesados (estupro, aborto, guerra, morte), mas também achei bem sensível. algumas coisas me foram estranhas na história, mas vou deixar entre 3.5 e 4 estrelas.
rina1986_reads's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
readingspells's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
There is a lot to like about this book. Some amainzingly rich and vivid characters. I could easily picture all of them and the place and the times it was set in. The Troubles were a powerful backdrop to this story alongside the power of the Catholic church and a patrichial society.
I loved Mary Rattigan. I wanted to rescue her, first from her vicious Mother and then from all that came next. However at times I also found her really frustating and I felt like at times she stopped evolving as a character and this is where things got tricky for me.
I totally get that some people find communication almost impossible but I am not sure it makes for a great story. Up to a point, for sure, but for me, it went on too long in this book and I found myself getting inccreasingly annoyed throughout the last 50 - 75 pages. By the end of it I had become so annoyed with Mary and John that I was no longer really rooting for them, I just wanted it to be over and I will admit I finished this book with a frustrated sigh.
However, the miscommunication, or unable to communicate, trope is one that I often struggle with and know for many people this book works and up to a point it totally did for m. I just found the ending unsatisfying and the last 50 or so pages a bit of a slog to get to that point.
I loved Mary Rattigan. I wanted to rescue her, first from her vicious Mother and then from all that came next. However at times I also found her really frustating and I felt like at times she stopped evolving as a character and this is where things got tricky for me.
I totally get that some people find communication almost impossible but I am not sure it makes for a great story. Up to a point, for sure, but for me, it went on too long in this book and I found myself getting inccreasingly annoyed throughout the last 50 - 75 pages. By the end of it I had become so annoyed with Mary and John that I was no longer really rooting for them, I just wanted it to be over and I will admit I finished this book with a frustrated sigh.
However, the miscommunication, or unable to communicate, trope is one that I often struggle with and know for many people this book works and up to a point it totally did for m. I just found the ending unsatisfying and the last 50 or so pages a bit of a slog to get to that point.
laurenleyendolibros's review
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
sadiereadsagain's review
5.0
It has struck me in recent years that, despite growing up in the 80's and 90's near London with bomb threats being not uncommon on our trips into the city, I am fairly ignorant about the Troubles in Ireland. It was watching Derry Girls that really hammered that home - seeing the nostalgia of my very similar younger years and the pant-pissingly funny comedy of the characters sharply juxtaposed with the presence of armed soldiers and road blocks. And so I've started to seek out books set during the Troubles.
That was what first drew me to this book. That, and the fact that this sounded like the story of a woman entering her mid-life and realising that life had not gone as she'd hoped it would when she was a teenager. I'm pulled to that sort of story too.
But this book isn't just about the Troubles. And it isn't just about reflecting on your life as you start a new chapter. The layers to this book are rich. We meet Mary as a teenager, with a cold and abusive home life thanks to a mother whose only real concern is to be seen as the most pious of them all. Navigating segregation and military occupation for the chance to snog her boyfriend at the bus stop, Mary dreams of flying away. But when she finds herself pregnant and unmarried, Mary's dreams come crashing down with a bump. Forced by her mother, the judgement of society and the crushing religious control of the time, she finds herself on a very different path. Over the next twenty five years, Mary settles with her lot, but has she missed the chance to live the life she really wants?
This book touched me deeply. I hardly ever cry at books, yet I can't count the number of times this one moved me to tears. Maybe I relate to Mary on a very raw level, or maybe I just deeply felt for the loss of her dreams, of the girl she was, and how different things could have been even in the life she found herself living. I really felt that sense of the passage of time and how it can't be snatched back, and it was like an ache. This book really delves in to the damage that can be caused when someone is made to feel small, how they can be caged in by their lack of self worth and put up walls to protect themselves from the possibility of rejection. How the negativity inside our heads can blinker us to the opportunities that lie right at our feet.
I loved Mary - although at times it was easy to want to shake her out of her self pity, I could also see that she was broken and unable to build herself back up. In fact, most of the women in this book were fabulously written, even Mary's monster of a mother. The sense of place in this book is incredibly strong too, I really felt as if I was sitting with the family in their little kitchen. But really, it was that Delaney was able to get to those core human emotions - even for the stoic, silent characters of John and Mary's father - that really did it for me.
This book truly is heart breaking, but in the most beautiful way.
I was sent a NetGalley of this title from Bloomsbury UK in return for a review. All opinions are my own.
That was what first drew me to this book. That, and the fact that this sounded like the story of a woman entering her mid-life and realising that life had not gone as she'd hoped it would when she was a teenager. I'm pulled to that sort of story too.
But this book isn't just about the Troubles. And it isn't just about reflecting on your life as you start a new chapter. The layers to this book are rich. We meet Mary as a teenager, with a cold and abusive home life thanks to a mother whose only real concern is to be seen as the most pious of them all. Navigating segregation and military occupation for the chance to snog her boyfriend at the bus stop, Mary dreams of flying away. But when she finds herself pregnant and unmarried, Mary's dreams come crashing down with a bump. Forced by her mother, the judgement of society and the crushing religious control of the time, she finds herself on a very different path. Over the next twenty five years, Mary settles with her lot, but has she missed the chance to live the life she really wants?
This book touched me deeply. I hardly ever cry at books, yet I can't count the number of times this one moved me to tears. Maybe I relate to Mary on a very raw level, or maybe I just deeply felt for the loss of her dreams, of the girl she was, and how different things could have been even in the life she found herself living. I really felt that sense of the passage of time and how it can't be snatched back, and it was like an ache. This book really delves in to the damage that can be caused when someone is made to feel small, how they can be caged in by their lack of self worth and put up walls to protect themselves from the possibility of rejection. How the negativity inside our heads can blinker us to the opportunities that lie right at our feet.
I loved Mary - although at times it was easy to want to shake her out of her self pity, I could also see that she was broken and unable to build herself back up. In fact, most of the women in this book were fabulously written, even Mary's monster of a mother. The sense of place in this book is incredibly strong too, I really felt as if I was sitting with the family in their little kitchen. But really, it was that Delaney was able to get to those core human emotions - even for the stoic, silent characters of John and Mary's father - that really did it for me.
This book truly is heart breaking, but in the most beautiful way.
I was sent a NetGalley of this title from Bloomsbury UK in return for a review. All opinions are my own.