Reviews

Before My Actual Heart Breaks by Tish Delaney

readingspells's review

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

There is a lot to like about this book. Some amainzingly rich and vivid characters. I could easily picture all of them and the place and the times it was set in. The Troubles were a powerful backdrop to this story alongside the power of the Catholic church and a patrichial society.

I loved Mary Rattigan. I wanted to rescue her, first from her vicious Mother and then from all that came next. However at times I also found her really frustating and I felt like at times she stopped evolving as a character and this is where things got tricky for me.

I totally get that some people find communication almost impossible but I am not sure it makes for a great story. Up to a point, for sure, but for me, it went on too long in this book and I found myself getting inccreasingly annoyed throughout the last 50 - 75 pages. By the end of it I had become so annoyed with Mary and John that I was no longer really rooting for them, I just wanted it to be over and I will admit I finished this book with a frustrated sigh. 

However, the miscommunication, or unable to communicate, trope is one that I often struggle with and know for many people this book works and up to a point it totally did for m. I just found the ending unsatisfying and the last 50 or so pages a bit of a slog to get to that point.


 

laurenleyendolibros's review

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dark emotional sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

jenreadsalot's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

4.0

sadiereadsagain's review

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5.0

It has struck me in recent years that, despite growing up in the 80's and 90's near London with bomb threats being not uncommon on our trips into the city, I am fairly ignorant about the Troubles in Ireland. It was watching Derry Girls that really hammered that home - seeing the nostalgia of my very similar younger years and the pant-pissingly funny comedy of the characters sharply juxtaposed with the presence of armed soldiers and road blocks. And so I've started to seek out books set during the Troubles.

That was what first drew me to this book. That, and the fact that this sounded like the story of a woman entering her mid-life and realising that life had not gone as she'd hoped it would when she was a teenager. I'm pulled to that sort of story too.

But this book isn't just about the Troubles. And it isn't just about reflecting on your life as you start a new chapter. The layers to this book are rich. We meet Mary as a teenager, with a cold and abusive home life thanks to a mother whose only real concern is to be seen as the most pious of them all. Navigating segregation and military occupation for the chance to snog her boyfriend at the bus stop, Mary dreams of flying away. But when she finds herself pregnant and unmarried, Mary's dreams come crashing down with a bump. Forced by her mother, the judgement of society and the crushing religious control of the time, she finds herself on a very different path. Over the next twenty five years, Mary settles with her lot, but has she missed the chance to live the life she really wants?

This book touched me deeply. I hardly ever cry at books, yet I can't count the number of times this one moved me to tears. Maybe I relate to Mary on a very raw level, or maybe I just deeply felt for the loss of her dreams, of the girl she was, and how different things could have been even in the life she found herself living. I really felt that sense of the passage of time and how it can't be snatched back, and it was like an ache. This book really delves in to the damage that can be caused when someone is made to feel small, how they can be caged in by their lack of self worth and put up walls to protect themselves from the possibility of rejection. How the negativity inside our heads can blinker us to the opportunities that lie right at our feet.

I loved Mary - although at times it was easy to want to shake her out of her self pity, I could also see that she was broken and unable to build herself back up. In fact, most of the women in this book were fabulously written, even Mary's monster of a mother. The sense of place in this book is incredibly strong too, I really felt as if I was sitting with the family in their little kitchen. But really, it was that Delaney was able to get to those core human emotions - even for the stoic, silent characters of John and Mary's father - that really did it for me.

This book truly is heart breaking, but in the most beautiful way.


I was sent a NetGalley of this title from Bloomsbury UK in return for a review. All opinions are my own.

rhiannonperry's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

madsshep's review

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dark emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

madeleine_p's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

sxrxhtonin_'s review

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emotional hopeful sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

helen_t_reads's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 When she was young Mary Rattigan wanted to fly. She was going to take off like an angel from heaven and leave the muck and madness of troubled Northern Ireland behind. Nothing but the Land of Happy Ever After would do for her. 

But as a Catholic girl with a B.I.T.C.H. for a Mammy and a silent Daddy, things did not go as she planned. 

Now, 25 years and 5 children later, Mary's alone. Will she finally find the courage to ask for the love she deserves? Or is it too late? 

Oh my goodness what a novel this is, and many times, as I was reading it, my actual heart really did break, and then a few paragraphs later I’d be chuckling at things the characters said or thought or did. It is an emotional read in all senses, it grabs you and pulls you in from the very first page and doesn’t let you go. I couldn’t put it down. It is one of those books that really makes an impact upon you, with characters that are so real and true, living in your head for long after you finish. 

It is also one of those books that you need to leave for a few days before you can write about it, and even then you know that your words will never do it justice. 

Having already read The Saint of Lost Things I knew that Tish Delaney’s absolute strength is in creating memorable characters, and a main character that has a troubled personal history and truly distinctive and memorable voice. Mary Rattigan has all of this in spades. 

There are times when you are so frustrated by Mary, and then there are times when you feel so sad for her that you want to weep, but you always care for her and keep hoping for the best. The same is true of the other characters in the book. The way Delaney shifts your sympathies and your views of them is utterly masterful. 

It’s a beautifully written novel, with prose that is often both lyrical and poetic. The descriptions of the farm, and the surrounding area, the weather, the passing seasons, and what it was like in Northern Ireland living during The Troubles are incredibly vivid, almost visceral. 

BMAHB explores the lifelong effects of a traumatic and abusive childhood, and how self-sabotaging that can prove to be. How it can lead to broken dreams, lost hope, unfulfilled potential, dysfunction, passivity, sadness and self-pity. But it is also about realising the damage that has been done, facing the demons of the past, and beginning to move forward, until hope and positivity replaces past sadness. 

An outstanding novel about love, loss, family and overcoming the past. 

llucyhall's review

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slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0