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matmatmatty's review against another edition
emotional
sad
slow-paced
4.75
Beautifully written, you can feel the grief from the pages.
A really interesting read on how grief affects us.
A really interesting read on how grief affects us.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief
Moderate: Death and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Kidnapping and War
romantics03's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death of parent, and Pandemic/Epidemic
sweetchocolatez's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Kidnapping, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Medical content and War
drraytay's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent
Moderate: Grief and Pandemic/Epidemic
This book made me deeply sad that not nearly enough people have dads that love them the way Chimamanda’s loved her.lottie1803's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Grief, Death of parent, and Pandemic/Epidemic
regnistegra's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
5.0
I’ve read a handful of books on grieving since the death of my dad. This is the one I recommend to anyone grieving the loss of a parent and searching for someone to put to words all the feelings and experiences. This is the one I would recommend to someone who hasn’t experienced this kind of loss but is supporting someone else who has, and needs help to understand.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief and Death of parent
Moderate: Chronic illness and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Medical content and Car accident
townofherons's review against another edition
0.25
Edit: Author is a massive TERF/transphobe. Maybe this explains why I found her writing so self-important and out-of-touch.
I'm reviewing against the grain here, but hear me out.
I’ve read so many books about grief and bereavement. I've met so many bereaved people through grief support groups - both as a griever myself and as a counselor. I'm by no means an expert, but I have experienced a variety of grief and spoken to people with a wide range of experiences.
While this book is lyrical, sensitive, and beautifully written, it presents a very stable look at grief from an affluent and successful woman surrounded by many loving and living family members to share her pain.
Adichie is writing after the death of her elderly father following a years long diagnosis of kidney disease. Her experience of grief is fairly straight forward - her father was 88 years old and had several health issues - so I did find some of the sweeping statements about the meaning of grief lacked a certain depth and self-awareness.
She claims the death of an elderly man suffering from acute kidney disease was sudden and unexpected; I'm sure to her it was a painful tragedy, compounded by the stress of Covid, but I found these statements irritating. It was a reflection on how much of Adichie's life had been plain sailing up to that point. In her middle age, after a life of happiness and comfort, it was this moment that was the first time she'd experienced something that caused her emotional pain.
I was annoyed that she used this experience to claim her expertise on the subject of grief. And yes, I am self-aware, of course it's a lot of envy on my part. Jealousy on behalf of myself, and the thousands of bereaved people I've counseled who would give anything to have the peaceful, uneventful, experience of grief that Adichie describes as being so utterly horrific. After exploring Adichie's biography (she's very wealthy and so was her father) I think she's just out-of-touch, in a similar vein to most rich people who haven't been faced with much difficulty in life.
So, of course, her elderly father's death of natural causes is the worst thing to ever happen to her. And because it's the worst thing that's happened to her, she imagines all grief must be like this, and now she can write confidently about it.
I don’t think you need to have experienced an especially traumatic death to write a book about grief, and I'm not trying to suggest the peaceful death of an elderly person at the end of a long and fruitful life is a breeze to cope with, many of Adichie’s observations are spot on, but she’s also extremely well-adjusted, financially comfortable, and writes with a detached poetic eloquence that is unrelatable at times. It served more as an abstract obituary for this interesting man, a long-form article about his life, rather than 'Notes on Grief'.
I wouldn’t recommend this book to grievers unless your grief journey involves an elderly relative at the end of their life - and, for most people, this is actually their one and only experience with grief. To those people, I am pleased that the statements in this book are helpful, I wish for everyone's grief journey to be as soothing as possible, and of course you have my envy too. For anyone whose journey strays from this path even remotely Adichie’s experience will frustrate you, she'll come across as a presumptuous guru and omnipotent oracle, dispensing generic wisdom.
I'm reviewing against the grain here, but hear me out.
I’ve read so many books about grief and bereavement. I've met so many bereaved people through grief support groups - both as a griever myself and as a counselor. I'm by no means an expert, but I have experienced a variety of grief and spoken to people with a wide range of experiences.
While this book is lyrical, sensitive, and beautifully written, it presents a very stable look at grief from an affluent and successful woman surrounded by many loving and living family members to share her pain.
Adichie is writing after the death of her elderly father following a years long diagnosis of kidney disease. Her experience of grief is fairly straight forward - her father was 88 years old and had several health issues - so I did find some of the sweeping statements about the meaning of grief lacked a certain depth and self-awareness.
She claims the death of an elderly man suffering from acute kidney disease was sudden and unexpected; I'm sure to her it was a painful tragedy, compounded by the stress of Covid, but I found these statements irritating. It was a reflection on how much of Adichie's life had been plain sailing up to that point. In her middle age, after a life of happiness and comfort, it was this moment that was the first time she'd experienced something that caused her emotional pain.
I was annoyed that she used this experience to claim her expertise on the subject of grief. And yes, I am self-aware, of course it's a lot of envy on my part. Jealousy on behalf of myself, and the thousands of bereaved people I've counseled who would give anything to have the peaceful, uneventful, experience of grief that Adichie describes as being so utterly horrific. After exploring Adichie's biography (she's very wealthy and so was her father) I think she's just out-of-touch, in a similar vein to most rich people who haven't been faced with much difficulty in life.
So, of course, her elderly father's death of natural causes is the worst thing to ever happen to her. And because it's the worst thing that's happened to her, she imagines all grief must be like this, and now she can write confidently about it.
I don’t think you need to have experienced an especially traumatic death to write a book about grief, and I'm not trying to suggest the peaceful death of an elderly person at the end of a long and fruitful life is a breeze to cope with, many of Adichie’s observations are spot on, but she’s also extremely well-adjusted, financially comfortable, and writes with a detached poetic eloquence that is unrelatable at times. It served more as an abstract obituary for this interesting man, a long-form article about his life, rather than 'Notes on Grief'.
I wouldn’t recommend this book to grievers unless your grief journey involves an elderly relative at the end of their life - and, for most people, this is actually their one and only experience with grief. To those people, I am pleased that the statements in this book are helpful, I wish for everyone's grief journey to be as soothing as possible, and of course you have my envy too. For anyone whose journey strays from this path even remotely Adichie’s experience will frustrate you, she'll come across as a presumptuous guru and omnipotent oracle, dispensing generic wisdom.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Grief
Minor: Pandemic/Epidemic
rishireads's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Pandemic/Epidemic
gabriella_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Incredibly sad and beautiful. Recommended for anyone grieving, especially during the pandemic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Panic attacks/disorders, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, and Pandemic/Epidemic
guinness74's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Adichie is a strong, brilliant voice in the pantheon of writers that I enjoy. I have not read all of her works, but those I have speak to me. And, though I have been mostly untouched by the grief that she evinces in this short book, I am aware of the fleeting nature of human life and the realization that my own parents are coming into the sunset of their lives, so this book seems to have more to tell me in its wisdom.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Grief, and Death of parent
Minor: Kidnapping, War, and Pandemic/Epidemic
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