Reviews

Falling by Suki Fleet

karlijnmerle's review against another edition

3.0

A bit dissapointing. The concept was really nice, but it didn't touched me like I wished.

claudiereads's review against another edition

3.0

3.5

I enjoyed this, but I won’t lie, I expected more romance. Instead, the book focused mostly on mental issues — Josh’s, Eleanor’s — and even if Fleet writes those very well, I wanted something to balance it out. Josh and Angus were lovely, but their relationship seemed almost peripheral, which made this story a bit draggy for me.

When it comes to writing, Fleet wasn’t at her best here. A proofreader would have their hands full.

suze_1624's review

4.0

I think Sheri's review sums this up really well for me.
I'm probably not in the really love it camp but it is an intense journey of the vagaries of the mind.
Both Josh and Eleanor suffer with issues - Josh having dealt with his darkest times, Eleanor descending as we read. The writing is very intense.
The light in the dark is Josh and Angus' gradual relationship, moving slowly but gaining momentum and hope.
I liked Soren and Oskar, and

Spoiler

glad that Josh reached out to his parents

.
It is well written but not a light read and I would imagine that if you suffer from mental illness, then this would be hard to read. But I did like it. 3.75*

steiner's review

4.0

Engagingly different story. Not the usual characters that populate romance

gabi90's review

4.0

3.5 stars

Josh is 25, he's the narrator of the story. And Angus is 18, who's living with his mother in the same building as Josh. Josh and Angus's mother knew each other for a few years already, when Angus left his dad and came to live with his mom instead.

The story starts right in the middle of things. Josh is a retailer at a shoe shop. He gets a call one afternoon from Angus, that his mom is frantic.
Apparently there was a brake-in recently and since then, Mom is paranoid. After a looong debate the two men agree that Mom needs professional help.

The first half of the book was focusing more on mental health issues, and the story was slow to pick up pace. Once the MCs took care of Mom, they could focus on each other more. So the second half of the book was focusing more on the romance, but the mental health issues were still present, because Josh himself had a history of long bouts in hospitals, and mental health institutions. He was dealing with clinical depression since he was 15. And as we know depression never fully goes away.

He's insecurities didn't help his blooming relationship with Angus. He didn't want to drag the boy down with him. He was so skeptical that this thing between them could work.

It was so nice to see their love growing. The writing is different from the last book I read from the author, This is Not a Love Story. There I struggled with it a bit. I like the writing better here, the author's prose is beautiful, I loved it.

tink535's review

5.0

4.5*
I'm not quite sure how to explain what I feel after reading this, emotionally drained, optimistic, slightly weepy, hopeful...a tough topic beautifully written.

tamalito's review

dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

susanscribs's review

3.0

3.25 stars. Not my favorite by this talented author. Despite Josh's struggles with mental illness, he isn't a very sympathetic character for much of the book, mostly because the details don't come out until the story is almost over so we have little context for his hot-and-cold behavior towards the adorable Angus. Some strong secondary characters, including Josh's boss and Angus' agoraphobic mom, help keep the novel engaging,but overall Falling is not as compelling as Fleet's Light Up the Dark or Foxes.

terriaminute's review

5.0

I've now read six Suki Fleet stories. This one is by far the least harrowing. It's no less serious - our main character was suicidal as a teen caught in chronic depression, and the aftereffects of that and treatment and all the fears trapped him. His love interest does not 'cure' him, of course. What he does is ease away some of the fears. It's a good story, you should read it too. Severe depression is terrible, and this romance is a good way to understand that, with a happy ending.

kp_khera's review

4.0

I’ve become so light now he is near me, the heaviness in my chest dissolving with every rapid beat of his heart.

First person narrative in the present tense done outstandingly well by Ms. Fleet. *sighs* Somehow her books make me unable to find words to describe them, because her words are so much more powerful. Which is why I think the tendency is building that I end up utilising gifs, quotes and my own humble bumbling words in trying to express what her books do to me. What her books have a tendency of doing to their readers.

It might not show on my face, but inside I’m smiling, and some part of me that’s higher than my stomach but lower than my heart is doing little flips of joy.

Yes. That’s what it feels like. When I get into a book, when it’s all I can think about, when I ignore the outside world in order to read and read and read.When I think that a writer is writing just what I was thinking. What I’ve thought. When they write poetry, when they make me connect to their characters.

He may as well have his hand around my heart.

Ms. Fleet may as well. Truly. Whenever I see that she’s written yet another book I know three things.

Angst. And lots of it.
Love.
A bruised and battered heart, but one that promises an eventual HEA. Or maybe more accurately a HFN. But happy nonetheless. I was talking about me.
So, yeah. You kind of know what you’re getting into when you start one of her books.

I should get up and go lie down in the other room, I should snap all these threads that I can feel wrapping around us tighter and tighter, because Angus deserves so much better than what I can offer him. He deserves someone who is not so fucked-up and afraid. He deserves someone who will love him and be there for him until the end of the fucking world. He doesn’t deserve another burden, another broken person in his life.
But I can’t snap the threads, and I can’t move away.

Likewise, even though I know my heart will likely go through a shredder, I know that in the end it’ll be taped back together… Carrying the scars forever.

Falling.

It’s like falling, over and over.

Perhaps there wasn’t as much angst in this book as the others she’s written, but there was so much longing that. I. Can’t. Even.

I’ve known loneliness. I’ve known how heavy its weight can be, and I’ve been crushed beneath it more than once.

It’s been kind of impossible for me to finish Ms. Fleet’s work in one sitting. Long or short. Because they drag you down, and emotionally exhaust you. The characters and their choices, their thoughts and the story overall.

Don’t feel anything, don’t let anything go too deep inside, and you’ll be okay is the rule I live by. But I know things are beginning to slip beneath my defenses.

But. Before you know it, you’re done. You’ve fallen. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s like your heart is being squeezed because all you can do is watch. Read. There is absolutely nothing you can do to help these people. They’re suffering, they’re being put through a grinder. At one point they’re going to hit rock bottom. You see it coming, you wish you could do something. But, you can’t.

It’s just a book. And the reality is that you’ve been pulled in so deep that you can’t separate real from imaginary anymore.

Typically, that’s what happens. Especially because Ms. Fleet has an affinity for flawed characters. Flawed in their own eyes and those around them. They are pushed under the weight of their flaws, unable to consider the possibility of anyone ever wanting them. If someone did, unable to comprehend why and thinking of ways how they will inevitably destroy this precious thing they’ve just received. Or, maybe they do have people but no-one who really understands how wrong everything can get.

It feels so wonderful, and I know I can never, ever let this happen again. Not if I want to hold myself together. Not if I want to keep a grip on my life. I don’t want to be on the front of this train when it crashes and burns.

So, that’s what Josh does. The road to HFN (because that’s what we get) is long, and tough to walk on and Josh doesn’t expect to ever reach the end. He’s standing in his own way, longing for something better but expecting nothing. Absolutely nothing. Why?

Because Josh is dealing with depression. Honestly, I don’t have a good idea on what being depressed actually means. People easily use the word when they’re overwhelmed and don’t feel like dealing with something, or when they’re somber. But, what does being depressed actually mean? What’s going through a person’s mind? Why are they unable to… for a lack of a better word, just un-depress themselves? Why is it so hard?

I don’t know. For me, I can tell you that I’ve had depressing thoughts before. Moments I just crash, but I use books, tv, schoolwork, friends, family to get me out of my funk. By not thinking about it. Best way to handle things? Perhaps not. But, it’s how I deal. Then again, I’m not clinically depressed. I can’t possibly comprehend what’s going through another’s mind. I don’t think anyone truly can.

However much I tell myself there are no triggers for my depression that I can’t deal with, I know there is one, and this is it. Feeling like this. Wanting a normality I know is out of my reach. Wishing there was a way I could fix the faulty wiring in my brain. Wishing I could promise to never hurt him.

Anyone going through any infliction, anyone suffering from anything has their own unique situation. I could not possibly understand what they’ve gone through, are going through and will go through in the future because 1) I don’t have a decent frame of reference, 2) I can’t possibly comprehend.

The furthest we can get is having an idea, if they’re willing to confide in you. Books also give you an idea. Which is why reading books broadens your horizons. It gives you more of an idea of what’s happening, it tries to put into words what’s going through a person’s mind and you end up with a tiny piece of the puzzle. It’s tiny, but, a piece nonetheless.

That’s what you get when you read Falling. It’s beautiful, but heartbreaking. You’ll wish you could somehow get into the story so you could every character a big hug and a basket of muffins. Or something like that. Anything that might help them feel better. But, you can’t. You’re helpless. There’s absolutely nothing you can do, except go along for the ride.

See the characters grow, get their hearts broken and seeing them mend themselves.

When Josh meets Angus for the first time, he doesn’t know that Angus would be the one to do that for him. Before he knows it, he’s fallen. But, he’s convinced himself that nothing can ever happen. Then something does, which takes a long time, but it comes with an expiration date that terrifies him. So much.

Sometimes I wish he’d do something that’d make me like him less, like be moody or selfish or annoying. But he doesn’t. Instead everything he does makes me like him more and more. It’s fucking terrifying—it’s as though I have this thing I don’t want growing inside me.
Or perhaps what’s terrifying is the knowledge that if someone cut it out, it’d fucking kill me.
It makes me feel so weak.
“Don’t ever change,” I say softly.

Angus and Josh. Two people who need each other, finding one another. Except, one of them is so terribly afraid the whole time. We know what Josh is going through. We only see what Angus is going through through Josh’s eyes. We don’t know. Then again, we don’t need to. Not really, because Josh is taking up so much space on his own. How he sees himself. As broken.

It suddenly hits me how easy it would be for someone to fall for him. How unfair on him it would be if that someone was broken and not good enough

We see Josh’s mind work. The way he deals, the way he hurts. Denies himself. We see it time and again. Josh denying himself, because he thinks he’ll ruin everything. No. He knows he’ll ruin everything and this knowledge weighs him down. He carries it with him. Every single step of the way. Not letting it go.

No.

Not being able to let it go.

I know he sees so much more of who I am than everyone else, but I long to tell him that with me, it’s all a front. So much front I’m scared there’s nothing real behind it anymore.

So, should you read this story? Absolutely. I’m going to admit, I didn’t love it as much as I loved her other books, but I loved it nonetheless. Both Josh and Angus are complex characters that in finding one another begin to shine.

How did you find me? I think, blinking back sudden, stupid tears. How are you here with me? How have I not pushed you away with all my hang-ups?

Perhaps, I’ve used too many quotes. But, since Ms. Fleet has a tendency to make people feel things with almost everything she writes, it’s kind of inevitable. You’re getting the toned down version. I literally had to cut down, a lot, to not go overboard (any more than I already have) with the quotes. It’s just that I feel that more than whatever I could tell you, the motivation to read Ms. Fleet’s work comes from her writing. And reading excerpts, short pieces, of who Josh is and what he’s thinking gives you a better idea of what you can expect than I could possibly give you.

I wonder why I can’t quite let myself jump into this with both feet like the giddy rejoicing part of me wants to. When it’s just me and Angus, I feel more and more sure of him—amazed by how well we fit together on some deep level, thrilled to be close to him, every one of my nerve endings set on fire by his presence. But when anyone else is around or I’m on my own, that certainty starts to recede and I’m back where I started, wondering what I’ve got to offer anyone apart from heartache—and Angus deserves so much more than that—and wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to be in a relationship anyway, giving anyone else that sort of dangerous power over their heart.

Ugh. My bruised and battered heart. Stop it. The previous quote is such an accurate representation of Josh’s mentality throughout the book that I. Can’t. Even. It’s bringing back all of Falling.

Of course, then comes the confusing knowledge that it doesn’t matter what you want or however much you try to fight it—if you fall in love, they have that power anyway.
Overall, this is a beautiful story of a “broken” someone finding someone looking past their “brokenness”. If that makes sense.

It’s enough. Being with him is enough. Enough to rearrange my heart, my trust, my world.

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

This review has been cross-posted on GBR