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erincataldi's review against another edition
5.0
Even though this was listed as a self help book I kept waiting for it to turn into a novel (no idea why), maybe because Neil says he's a comedian?!? Anyhoo, I actually picked up waay more advice than I ever thought possible from a self-help book. Author, Neil Hughes, makes concepts, theories, and practices understandable, relate-able, and funny, which makes it infinitely easier to like and use in real life. I don't particularly find myself an anxious person, but I do stress over small things and have a wicked mean inner voice so I was able to glean a lot of helpful information from this book. Another reason I think I enjoyed it so much is because Neil isn't some fancy dancy psychologist or therapist, he's an average educated bloke that's dealt with anxiety his whole life and has compiled years worth of researches and best practices to help others out. Humor is an underlying element which helps make the topic of anxiety less scary. This is a must read for anyone suffering from anxiety, minor or major it doesn't matter, it's helpful, funny, and insightful. At times you'll find yourself groaning at the author's ridiculous puns and inner critic, but it's all in good fun and makes the book even more enjoyable.
I received this book for free from the author in return for my honest, unbiased review.
I received this book for free from the author in return for my honest, unbiased review.
vanelle87's review
5.0
This book is like a hug. It comforts and replenishes your energies. I love the author’s sense of humor and how he shows his own inner critic. He shows you that we are not alone in feeling anxiety and he gives you pretty useful exercises to help you cope. I totally recommend this book.
wandering_not_lost's review against another edition
5.0
I did not expect this book to be so awesome. I was drawn in by the self-effacing and amusing voice and even as I bought it I thought, "this is probably going to be pretty lightweight, but hey, it looks like a fun read."
I was so very wrong. This is a substantial, surprisingly comprehensive, multifaceted, and utterly down-to-earth guide to how to work with your own brain to short-circuit bad habits, habitual worries, feedback loops, and crusty old beliefs to free yourself from the quicksand/custard of your own head. It offers practical tools and tips to help you work with your own beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors to help relieve anxiety by increasing your ability to let go of things that aren't important and giving you overall coping mechanisms to deal with everything else.
Before I get into the things I loved, a few things that might be helpful: this book mentions suicidal thoughts pretty early on, so anyone who would be affected by that, beware. Also, it does not touch on medication or seeking professional help for anxiety or other mental illnesses. In fact, that's a downside, I think. The tips in here will likely be helpful to everyone, but some acknowledgement that altered brain chemistries can sometimes be made 1000X easier to deal with when medicated would have been nice.
On to: Reasons I Love This Book:
- It is practical. The book is filled with actual exercises that you can do to put into practice what you're reading about. These are all excellent and usually focus not on "do X and you will feel Y", but at training your brain to look at things differently. This is something I like best about this book: it's not going to beat you up for not being able to meditate for 30 min every day. It will instead give you a plethora of tools and let you decide what will work best for you.
- It has a fresh voice and an innovative, down-home take on the topic. This book is about putting mindfulness and thought processes to work for you. But it does not get too deeply into the whys and wherefores of either religion or science. It's advice that doesn't take itself too seriously, like the author is friend you asked to help you out. It's a conversation, not a lecture. The author doesn't set himself up as an expert, and neither is he selling anything, and that combination is actually very refreshing in this genre.
- It is comprehensive. This is a substantial book, and I found myself several times going "I hope he talks about X!" and lo and behold, he did two chapters later. It's organized differently than other self-help books I've read, but he rounded out his thoughts, covered all the major bases, and overall left you feeling like he'd adequately covered every issue he brought up.
- It isn't afraid to wade into the deep water topics and how they actually impact your life. Instead of lumping all existential questions into a chapter on "dealing with death", there's a wider discussion. There's even a section at the end that talks about how to live with the knowledge that eventually the universe will collapse into its own heat death, or with lack of meaning in general. And the advice here is solid, giving you fresh perspectives on those thoughts and possible ways to look at the issues differently.
This book is at least 5X better than I was expecting. Maybe 10x better. I bought it for myself and actually now want to give physical copies to everyone I know who could use a little mindfulness in their life but who would be scared off by any whiff of New Age or Buddhism. This is a book on mindfulness you could give to your white-bread grandmother (and I might do just that.)
I was so very wrong. This is a substantial, surprisingly comprehensive, multifaceted, and utterly down-to-earth guide to how to work with your own brain to short-circuit bad habits, habitual worries, feedback loops, and crusty old beliefs to free yourself from the quicksand/custard of your own head. It offers practical tools and tips to help you work with your own beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors to help relieve anxiety by increasing your ability to let go of things that aren't important and giving you overall coping mechanisms to deal with everything else.
Before I get into the things I loved, a few things that might be helpful: this book mentions suicidal thoughts pretty early on, so anyone who would be affected by that, beware. Also, it does not touch on medication or seeking professional help for anxiety or other mental illnesses. In fact, that's a downside, I think. The tips in here will likely be helpful to everyone, but some acknowledgement that altered brain chemistries can sometimes be made 1000X easier to deal with when medicated would have been nice.
On to: Reasons I Love This Book:
- It is practical. The book is filled with actual exercises that you can do to put into practice what you're reading about. These are all excellent and usually focus not on "do X and you will feel Y", but at training your brain to look at things differently. This is something I like best about this book: it's not going to beat you up for not being able to meditate for 30 min every day. It will instead give you a plethora of tools and let you decide what will work best for you.
- It has a fresh voice and an innovative, down-home take on the topic. This book is about putting mindfulness and thought processes to work for you. But it does not get too deeply into the whys and wherefores of either religion or science. It's advice that doesn't take itself too seriously, like the author is friend you asked to help you out. It's a conversation, not a lecture. The author doesn't set himself up as an expert, and neither is he selling anything, and that combination is actually very refreshing in this genre.
- It is comprehensive. This is a substantial book, and I found myself several times going "I hope he talks about X!" and lo and behold, he did two chapters later. It's organized differently than other self-help books I've read, but he rounded out his thoughts, covered all the major bases, and overall left you feeling like he'd adequately covered every issue he brought up.
- It isn't afraid to wade into the deep water topics and how they actually impact your life. Instead of lumping all existential questions into a chapter on "dealing with death", there's a wider discussion. There's even a section at the end that talks about how to live with the knowledge that eventually the universe will collapse into its own heat death, or with lack of meaning in general. And the advice here is solid, giving you fresh perspectives on those thoughts and possible ways to look at the issues differently.
This book is at least 5X better than I was expecting. Maybe 10x better. I bought it for myself and actually now want to give physical copies to everyone I know who could use a little mindfulness in their life but who would be scared off by any whiff of New Age or Buddhism. This is a book on mindfulness you could give to your white-bread grandmother (and I might do just that.)
siennatristen's review
4.0
As someone who knows a lot of chronically anxious people, and who suffers the occasional panic attack herself, I've done my fair share of research on anxiety management/emotional regulation/mindfulness/etc. It's got to the point where I have no idea where I've even picked up half of the tips and tricks I know, whether it's grounding exercises or a crash course on the amygdala. When I bought Walking on Custard I bought it for my partner originally, because I thought it would mostly cover all of the things I already knew. It would be a good refresher (because these are the sorts of things you can always, always use a refresher on, no matter how well you've internalized them.)
And it was. But it also went beyond that. I remember reaching the end of the "SELF" section and beginning the "OTHERS" section and suddenly having the realization that, oh, wait, here are a bunch of things I don't know so much about. One of the highest compliments I have to pay is that I genuinely learned something from the chapters and their anecdotes and predicaments and advice.
I think one of Walking on Custard's biggest strengths is the voice in which it is written. There's enough literature on anxiety and mental health out there to papier-mâché the entire globe, but most of it also carries this authoritative, supercilious tone that X WILL work or Y WILL make you feel Z. That sort of tone can be a big enough turn-off for anxious folks that they don't bother to read the information that could genuinely help them. This is where the book excels--Neil never has much to say about what WILL work, but he has a lot of suggestions about what MIGHT work, and that makes all the difference. It's also accessible as heck--and beyond accessible, it's fun! Between wacky differential equations and stories about timelocked siblings to the very format of the chapters, everything about the book is geared towards poking gentle fun at itself, which makes it incredibly endearing and, seemingly paradoxically, much more likely to be taken seriously.
I also hugely appreciate the book's overall emphasis on mindset. I used to eschew philosophy as 'navel-gazing' until I realized that philosophy was a way of changing how you see life and the world, which in turn changes the ways you engage with it. In a way, the theory gives birth to the practical. In the same way, Neil's advice to observe and adjust your mindset to be a little more patient here, a little more accepting there--that's a technique that has benefits across the board. "There is no automated process that makes us wiser", true, but a change in mindset is as close as you're going to get.
I'll also point out that this thing is extremely quotable. I've underlined probably a dozen sentences throughout the pages which I've returned to periodically to read to suffering friends or else just to myself. Neil doesn't just give good advice or tell a good story, he's also got just the right words to do it with. Today's relevant quote is probably "Realising the truth of the human condition doesn't make it harder to endure." Been doing a lot of that lately. It's helping!
All in all, I opened this book thinking it was going to be a nice light refresher on some mental health pointers, and I closed it feeling inspired and fulfilled and understood. It was a very pleasant surprise.
And it was. But it also went beyond that. I remember reaching the end of the "SELF" section and beginning the "OTHERS" section and suddenly having the realization that, oh, wait, here are a bunch of things I don't know so much about. One of the highest compliments I have to pay is that I genuinely learned something from the chapters and their anecdotes and predicaments and advice.
I think one of Walking on Custard's biggest strengths is the voice in which it is written. There's enough literature on anxiety and mental health out there to papier-mâché the entire globe, but most of it also carries this authoritative, supercilious tone that X WILL work or Y WILL make you feel Z. That sort of tone can be a big enough turn-off for anxious folks that they don't bother to read the information that could genuinely help them. This is where the book excels--Neil never has much to say about what WILL work, but he has a lot of suggestions about what MIGHT work, and that makes all the difference. It's also accessible as heck--and beyond accessible, it's fun! Between wacky differential equations and stories about timelocked siblings to the very format of the chapters, everything about the book is geared towards poking gentle fun at itself, which makes it incredibly endearing and, seemingly paradoxically, much more likely to be taken seriously.
I also hugely appreciate the book's overall emphasis on mindset. I used to eschew philosophy as 'navel-gazing' until I realized that philosophy was a way of changing how you see life and the world, which in turn changes the ways you engage with it. In a way, the theory gives birth to the practical. In the same way, Neil's advice to observe and adjust your mindset to be a little more patient here, a little more accepting there--that's a technique that has benefits across the board. "There is no automated process that makes us wiser", true, but a change in mindset is as close as you're going to get.
I'll also point out that this thing is extremely quotable. I've underlined probably a dozen sentences throughout the pages which I've returned to periodically to read to suffering friends or else just to myself. Neil doesn't just give good advice or tell a good story, he's also got just the right words to do it with. Today's relevant quote is probably "Realising the truth of the human condition doesn't make it harder to endure." Been doing a lot of that lately. It's helping!
All in all, I opened this book thinking it was going to be a nice light refresher on some mental health pointers, and I closed it feeling inspired and fulfilled and understood. It was a very pleasant surprise.
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