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mollysticks's review against another edition
4.0
Has be re-evaluating feminism, in that, not only should women be able to do things that men can do, but men should do and be encouraged to do more things that are traditionally "women's work".
omgbiscoffspread's review against another edition
2.0
It was good, well written. I did not finish it. It was making me too angry.
omikun's review against another edition
5.0
This is a must read for all the guys out there. I like to think of myself as pretty self conscious and self aware but I find myself doing or have done a lot of off loading of cognitive tasks to my partner. But when I live alone I have no problems taking on those tasks.
One side effect of not taking responsibility is this feeling of sleep walking. In grocery stores I feel lost and a bit helpless if I'm shopping with my partner. But when I go by myself I have a list and know exactly what to get. It's in and out and it feels rather empowering.
Another side effect is I lose respect from my partner. I act incompetent and she loses trust in my ability to self direct, at which point she nags and I complain about that! At the same time when I try to do something and make mistakes, I'm very sensitive to how she reacts. If it's negative, I'm very unlikely to try again any time soon.
So there's a give and take. One's behavior is often times the reaction to another, and their behavior is often times the reaction to our own! It's this tangled web of reactions. This book sites lots of data on the current state of relationships in general, but the problem is often deeper than just "the man isn't pulling his weight." Although I have to say it's mostly the guy not pulling his weight.
One side effect of not taking responsibility is this feeling of sleep walking. In grocery stores I feel lost and a bit helpless if I'm shopping with my partner. But when I go by myself I have a list and know exactly what to get. It's in and out and it feels rather empowering.
Another side effect is I lose respect from my partner. I act incompetent and she loses trust in my ability to self direct, at which point she nags and I complain about that! At the same time when I try to do something and make mistakes, I'm very sensitive to how she reacts. If it's negative, I'm very unlikely to try again any time soon.
So there's a give and take. One's behavior is often times the reaction to another, and their behavior is often times the reaction to our own! It's this tangled web of reactions. This book sites lots of data on the current state of relationships in general, but the problem is often deeper than just "the man isn't pulling his weight." Although I have to say it's mostly the guy not pulling his weight.
kage_nz's review against another edition
4.0
This book is appropriately named and I find myself even more furious at the world I live in after reading it. My 11 year old has told me a few times now she doesn't want to have kids, and after reading this I find it hard not to tell her she's making the right choice.
jkn303's review against another edition
4.0
Lots of interesting scientific data refuting the things we think we know regarding motherhood vs. fatherhood and what that means for work life balance, particularly for women. Worth reading for sure.
katie_esh's review against another edition
4.0
Spoiler alert: the patriarchy is alive and well.
Full of data and interviews of mothers across the country, this book doesn't give any groundbreaking revelations. In heterosexual households, men are willing to help, but the "mental load" of parenting/housekeeping is carried by women. I appreciated the comparisons between straight and non-straight couples, further showing how societal gender dynamics influence our relationships. 4 Stars because this book lacks any sort of suggestions on steps to take to change our current system.
Full of data and interviews of mothers across the country, this book doesn't give any groundbreaking revelations. In heterosexual households, men are willing to help, but the "mental load" of parenting/housekeeping is carried by women. I appreciated the comparisons between straight and non-straight couples, further showing how societal gender dynamics influence our relationships. 4 Stars because this book lacks any sort of suggestions on steps to take to change our current system.
addiestanley's review against another edition
4.0
I wish this book wasn’t pink-marketed to all of the women, that’s just preaching to the choir. The real target audience should be their spouses, future spouses, and fathers of children. As the book points out, women can’t change socialized behaviors on their own, can’t be the only ones with expectations. The men have to step up, too, and that starts with more than just women realizing there’s a problem. We already know.
itsautumntime9's review against another edition
DNF at 30%. Maybe this will feel more applicable if I have kids, but I wasn’t enjoying this because a lot of it didn’t feel applicable for me. Did appreciate everything I read so far about how men and women are biologically not very different. A lot of stuff is nurture rather than nature. I wish I had been told that more when I was growing up.