Reviews tagging 'Child abuse'

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum

104 reviews

puttingwingsonwords's review against another edition

reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Grief, and Death of parent

Moderate: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Abortion, Murder, Pregnancy, and Alcohol

moonadjacent's review against another edition

dark emotional inspiring sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence. 

Two excerpts that showcase these themes: 

"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."

"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly." 

With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.

Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Grief, Religious bigotry, Abortion, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Alcoholism, Genocide, Rape, Death of parent, Colonisation, and War

Minor: Child death, Suicide, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, and Murder

sassyykassie's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Violence, Murder, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Alcoholism, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Abortion

Minor: Child death, Genocide, Xenophobia, Car accident, Pregnancy, Abandonment, and War

booktribe's review against another edition

emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Death of parent

Moderate: Alcoholism and Sexual assault

casira's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This book struggles, at times, with the message it ultimately wants to convey about its themes. There are a lot of complexities surrounding abusers and victims that are handled very well, but also some that are handled a bit poorly. It is ultimately about conveying the significance of choice and shaping one's own destiny, but that messaging can fall flat in circumstances when the choices at hand are entangled in questions of personal safety. There are moments that glorify a willingness to withstand torture and physical assault over "running away" that don't resonate in quite the way I think the author intended.

I'm also struggling a bit with the aspects of culture and tone regarding America, identity, and assimilation. I think Rum failed somewhat in marking the distinction between "there are elements of Arab/Palestinian culture that reinforce and enable abuse" and "Arab/Palestinian culture is inherently abusive." The reader walks away with a somewhat explicit message about the superiority of Western society. I think Rum's second book handles these themes far better.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Violence, Blood, Islamophobia, Grief, Death of parent, Colonisation, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Murder, and Pregnancy

klonghouse's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Child abuse, Rape, and Abortion

marta_v's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes

5.0

✨Una historia desgarradora, por todo lo que describe, pero una obra que me parece absolutamente maestra.
✨La manera en la que con las historias de Isra y Deya refleja la situación en décadas diferentes, que tienen sus diferencias, pero que siguen manteniendo muchas similitudes.
✨Ha habido ciertos momentos en los que me he sentido representada por la descripción que hace Isra de lo que de haber ido a un médico hubiese sido diagnosticado como depresión. La lucha por saber quién eres fuera de los mandatos sociales y de los deseos de tu familia.
✨Recordar que es UNA historia, y no LA historia que viven mujeres Palestinas, en este caso Palestinas-Americanas, y muchas otras mujeres en otros contextos culturales.
✨Una representación cruda de violencia de género y abusos en el hogar.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Blood, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Murder, and Pregnancy

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

michaelion's review against another edition

emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I read Evil Eye last month and gave it 5 stars, and it's near impossible for me to give things 5 stars, so I figured this woman must be amazing I gotta read what else she has. Only one other book?! How heartbreaking! I need more! Etaf Rum the woman that you are!!!

I do feel that if I had read this book first and Evil Eye second, I still would've given Evil Eye 5 stars. These books were written for the culture. Not my culture, but the importance of them, the weight of them, were not just to represent Palestinians and Arabs, but to show other Arabs "this is who we are, we have stories to tell, and we have to be honest with ourselves" and I love that SO much. Etaf Rum you will always be famous!!!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide, Violence, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child death, Confinement, Genocide, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Abandonment, Colonisation, War, and Deportation

Minor: Body horror, Drug use, Fatphobia, Miscarriage, Islamophobia, Stalking, and Car accident

lilystheme's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i fucking love this book my god

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Religious bigotry, Abortion, Death of parent, and Murder

Moderate: Alcoholism, Genocide, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide, Islamophobia, Pregnancy, and War

altomariali's review

challenging emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Death, Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, and Suicide