Reviews with content warning for Colonisation - A Woman Is No Man

Reviews tagging 'Colonisation'

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum

17 reviews

cassie7e's review

challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

"She knew she had to teach them how to love themselves, that this was the only way they had a chance at happiness, only she didnt see how she could when the world pressed shame into women like pillows into their face."

This is a heartbreaking story of what it is to be an immigrant Palestinian woman in America in the face of layers of intergenerational trauma and shame. Never once did I want to stop reading despite the difficult subject matter. The relationships between the women are complex and matter more than anything else. The story is expertly told through multiple viewpoints across two time periods and several generations. The audio narrators also did a wonderful job.

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letsgolesbians's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

couldn’t put it down, knocking down a star for a harry potter reference and the lack of pushback about virginity being tied to morality

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jkreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This was breathtaking. So thought-provoking, challenging, dark, hopeful, and gut-churning. The prose was lush and emotive without being overly flowery - to me this was a great example of “showing not telling”. This book didn’t need to tell me how to feel because the plot did that all on its own. The climax of this book felt inevitable, it was very obvious where it was going almost from the start, and yet somehow when it was revealed it still managed to feel like a gut punch. Incredible, incredible writing. Etaf Rum has cemented herself as a must-read author for me.

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caprivoyant's review against another edition

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emotional reflective

Plot- or character-driven? Character

I've been staring at my phone trying to write a review for 20 minutes. I can't. This book is beautiful. It'll break your heart and make you love your people (and stories) even more. That's all I've got.

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moonadjacent's review against another edition

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dark emotional inspiring sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence.

Two excerpts that showcase these themes:

"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."

"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."

With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.

Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.

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casira's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This book struggles, at times, with the message it ultimately wants to convey about its themes. There are a lot of complexities surrounding abusers and victims that are handled very well, but also some that are handled a bit poorly. It is ultimately about conveying the significance of choice and shaping one's own destiny, but that messaging can fall flat in circumstances when the choices at hand are entangled in questions of personal safety. There are moments that glorify a willingness to withstand torture and physical assault over "running away" that don't resonate in quite the way I think the author intended.

I'm also struggling a bit with the aspects of culture and tone regarding America, identity, and assimilation. I think Rum failed somewhat in marking the distinction between "there are elements of Arab/Palestinian culture that reinforce and enable abuse" and "Arab/Palestinian culture is inherently abusive." The reader walks away with a somewhat explicit message about the superiority of Western society. I think Rum's second book handles these themes far better.

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michaelion's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I read Evil Eye last month and gave it 5 stars, and it's near impossible for me to give things 5 stars, so I figured this woman must be amazing I gotta read what else she has. Only one other book?! How heartbreaking! I need more! Etaf Rum the woman that you are!!!

I do feel that if I had read this book first and Evil Eye second, I still would've given Evil Eye 5 stars. These books were written for the culture. Not my culture, but the importance of them, the weight of them, were not just to represent Palestinians and Arabs, but to show other Arabs "this is who we are, we have stories to tell, and we have to be honest with ourselves" and I love that SO much. Etaf Rum you will always be famous!!!

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