Reviews
The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt by Steven C. Hayes, Russ Harris
pbobrit's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting book about the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) methodology. He writes in an very engaging style. Very accessible with plenty of real world examples. It is definitely one of those books you need to work through so having read it I'll probably go back at some point and re-read and work through some of the exercises more thoroughly. Worth reading if you are a fan of this kind of area.
ksbookjunky's review against another edition
4.0
An introduction to acceptance and commitment therapy and how we can make changes in our lives. Many of the techniques are "duh!" so simple I cannot believe I never thought of it before. Others take practice to put into our repertoire.
Good adjunct to other therapies not sure how it stands alone.
Good adjunct to other therapies not sure how it stands alone.
pageyp93's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
pheenx's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
medium-paced
3.75
rachelbee15's review against another edition
4.0
Listened to the audiobook, which was very helpful. This is the first book on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy that I have finished, and it helped me in my desire to learn more about ACT. It is repetitive, but that’s something I appreciated.
chronoreading's review against another edition
3.0
Overall I did enjoy the book, my favorite part being the concise list of key points that some chapters had, which will make them easier to refer to later. Notice how I said only some of the chapters had these lists though, which is one of my cons. There were a select few chapters in which I felt like I didn't learn much at all to be quite honest. He delineated from the overarching theme at times which was slightly frustrating. This didn't occur too often but often enough that I definitely noticed. I hope to be able to apply some of his techniques in the future.
morgan_blackledge's review against another edition
4.0
It's common for people to believe that they can't do the things they would like to do because they lack confidence. But if you stop and think about it for a second, this is totally absurd. It takes practice to feel confident. If you wait to feel confident before you take a step, you're likely to stay exactly where you are. In other words; confidence the action comes before confidence the feeling.
The message of the book is that it's normal to feel anxious, afraid, reluctant etc. about trying new things, or about doing things that matter to you. If you let difficult thoughts and feelings of self doubt keep you from doing the things that matter to you, than you're likely to become stuck exactly where you are.
This book is all about getting unstuck by learning to make space for the difficult thoughts and feelings, and bring them with you, in a way that is honest and authentic, as you go ahead and do what matters. In a nut shell, it's about accepting what is, contacting your values and taking action.
Lots of great leaders, thinkers, athletes, artists and performers feel full of conflict, anxiety and self doubt on every step of there journey. But they show up, time after time, with a head full of doubts, and a body full of fear, and they do what others won't, and that's what makes them great. All of us are capable of doing exactly that, if we are simply willing to experience the intense feelings that inevitably accompany pursuing anything of worth.
Name one thing that's worth a damn that doesn't entail at least some discomfort to achieve. If it were magically some other way, and you could effortlessly wish it into existence, how much authentic growth would such a pursuit engender?
The author would have sold a lot more books if he had said that all you have to do is think differently, or visualize your desired outcome, or ask the universe for what ever. Everyone wants to eat what ever they want and loose weight, or wish their way to millions, but to put it bluntly, that shit doesn't work. How exactly could simply thinking about anything bring about change? The fact of the matter is, all things being equal, you get what you do. And that's the good news. Thinking alone doesn't make it so. Change entails action.
Actions are the horse, feelings are the cart. If you do "confidence the action" enough, odds are spectacular that "confidence the feeling will follow", and even if confidence the feeling never shows, you're still finding a way to do what matters, and that's all that matters.
The message of the book is that it's normal to feel anxious, afraid, reluctant etc. about trying new things, or about doing things that matter to you. If you let difficult thoughts and feelings of self doubt keep you from doing the things that matter to you, than you're likely to become stuck exactly where you are.
This book is all about getting unstuck by learning to make space for the difficult thoughts and feelings, and bring them with you, in a way that is honest and authentic, as you go ahead and do what matters. In a nut shell, it's about accepting what is, contacting your values and taking action.
Lots of great leaders, thinkers, athletes, artists and performers feel full of conflict, anxiety and self doubt on every step of there journey. But they show up, time after time, with a head full of doubts, and a body full of fear, and they do what others won't, and that's what makes them great. All of us are capable of doing exactly that, if we are simply willing to experience the intense feelings that inevitably accompany pursuing anything of worth.
Name one thing that's worth a damn that doesn't entail at least some discomfort to achieve. If it were magically some other way, and you could effortlessly wish it into existence, how much authentic growth would such a pursuit engender?
The author would have sold a lot more books if he had said that all you have to do is think differently, or visualize your desired outcome, or ask the universe for what ever. Everyone wants to eat what ever they want and loose weight, or wish their way to millions, but to put it bluntly, that shit doesn't work. How exactly could simply thinking about anything bring about change? The fact of the matter is, all things being equal, you get what you do. And that's the good news. Thinking alone doesn't make it so. Change entails action.
Actions are the horse, feelings are the cart. If you do "confidence the action" enough, odds are spectacular that "confidence the feeling will follow", and even if confidence the feeling never shows, you're still finding a way to do what matters, and that's all that matters.