Reviews
Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement by Stacy Manning, Katy Faust
briecmcrae's review
5.0
Full of gut-wrenching stories and facts, but also witty Them Before Us is a must read. As someone who grew up in a stable house, I was reminded that I am lucky. My job is to fight for children, not for children to fill a hole in my life. I would recommend this to everyone and anyone. Thankful for the hard truths that were spoken in this book.
bxtskr's review
fast-paced
0.25
Poorly researched, incredibly biased, and focused on pushing a singular narrative regarding what type of home children should be in. There’s so many logical fallacies and misinterpreted data in this book.
There are many places where I don’t necessarily disagree with the authors on the existence of issues in society. I have deep concerns about the fertility industry and would strongly support donor conceived people-led legislation and regulation of the industry. I don’t, however, think that the authors accurately represents the donor conceived peoples rights movement.
The authors also very conveniently skirt around the movements led by adopted children to abolish the adoption for profit industry.
That being said. This book actively advocates for “traditional marriage,” uses extremely ableist and transphobic message, and uses smoking pot and attending therapy as two markers that people have a negative life.
I read this because I find it’s important to be informed about the opinions of people who support legislation that would negatively impact society. It’s so scary to know that there are people spreading such misinformation through manipulation of data. I hate that the name children’s rights has been co-opted by the anti abortion movement, especially because the primary recipient of “late term abortions” are young children who have been abused, often by the biological family members that the authors herald as the end all be of who should be allowed to parent.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism
theheid's review
3.0
A thought-provoking, well-researched appeal to protect the most vulnerable members of our society: children.
kendranicole28's review
4.0
We have reached a strange spot in our society, where children are both idolized and undervalued. Couples go to great lengths to exercise their “right” to biological parenthood, resorting to reproductive technologies such as surrogacy and egg and sperm donors. Meanwhile, these same children’s genuine rights to grow up knowing their biological parents—and to be raised by both their mother and father, who are married to one another—are considered optional. In Them Before Us, children’s rights advocates Katy Faust and Stacy Manning flip the script on the adult-centric attitudes to marriage, parenthood, and fertility to expose the ways that prioritizing adult desires can compromise the emotional and physical well-being of children.
Through testimonies from the “victims” (offspring of homosexual, transgender, and divorced parents, and children conceived through IVF and/or carried by surrogates), the authors share the not-so-glamorous aspects of some of the prevalent ideologies and commonly accepted practices related to the modern family. The book sorts out fact from fiction within studies claiming only positive outcomes for children raised in unconventional family settings, and it draws attention to the lack of child advocates and abundance of adult selfishness in our current age.
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers: it tackles all of the hottest issues of the day, and does not hold back on pointing out where we really are getting it wrong in our assumptions that “the kids will be fine.” I lean pretty heavily conservative with all things marriage and family, but even I had some of my assumptions challenged, especially regarding the issues that felt a little more personal to me (such as divorce and IVF, as I have friends and family members navigating these waters). Still, I was glad to have my eyes opened to the harm being done to children in these areas.
This is largely an “awareness” book, and I wish the authors had more helpful solutions to offer beyond simply informing readers of these problems. I also wish it were more empowering of the children who have already been affected by divorce, same-sex parents, IVF, etc. (It portrays these children as the victims they are, but does nothing to encourage them to move through the pain they have endured.) And while the book does not necessarily set out to villainize adults who have not prioritized their children’s rights, I believe the authors could have taken a more compassionate and nuanced stance in their views.
As difficult as this book is, I am appreciative of the Them Before Us Movement and its willingness to shine light on the ugly realities of an adult-centric focus on marriage and family. I know I will be taking these issues more seriously in the future.
My Rating: 4 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook
Through testimonies from the “victims” (offspring of homosexual, transgender, and divorced parents, and children conceived through IVF and/or carried by surrogates), the authors share the not-so-glamorous aspects of some of the prevalent ideologies and commonly accepted practices related to the modern family. The book sorts out fact from fiction within studies claiming only positive outcomes for children raised in unconventional family settings, and it draws attention to the lack of child advocates and abundance of adult selfishness in our current age.
This book will ruffle a lot of feathers: it tackles all of the hottest issues of the day, and does not hold back on pointing out where we really are getting it wrong in our assumptions that “the kids will be fine.” I lean pretty heavily conservative with all things marriage and family, but even I had some of my assumptions challenged, especially regarding the issues that felt a little more personal to me (such as divorce and IVF, as I have friends and family members navigating these waters). Still, I was glad to have my eyes opened to the harm being done to children in these areas.
This is largely an “awareness” book, and I wish the authors had more helpful solutions to offer beyond simply informing readers of these problems. I also wish it were more empowering of the children who have already been affected by divorce, same-sex parents, IVF, etc. (It portrays these children as the victims they are, but does nothing to encourage them to move through the pain they have endured.) And while the book does not necessarily set out to villainize adults who have not prioritized their children’s rights, I believe the authors could have taken a more compassionate and nuanced stance in their views.
As difficult as this book is, I am appreciative of the Them Before Us Movement and its willingness to shine light on the ugly realities of an adult-centric focus on marriage and family. I know I will be taking these issues more seriously in the future.
My Rating: 4 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook
petersont4's review
5.0
This book made me think about a lot of things in a different perspective than I have before. We don’t tend to look at adult issues as affecting kids and this book does a great job showing how adults try to make decision based on what makes them happy and they completely leave out the affect it has on children and their development. This book goes into things from gay marriage, to egg/sperm donation, adoption and just about any other political issue you can think of. The author then ties them all back to the breakdown of the nuclear family in America. This book does a great job of exposing the problem. I only wish the author had some actual solutions on how to solve these issues in society.
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