evil_jj's review
5.0
Review of Published Version:
It hurts to say this, but I very much prefer the original unpublished version of this book. I wish I could say the changes were an improvement, but unfortunately they "fixed" something that wasn't broken. This went from being a unique, lovely story about two young adults figuring out their kinky relationship to one of the same old BDSM books that are a dime a dozen. It's kind of crazy how the addition of a few words and sentences here and there can change the dynamic so much.
The first thing I noticed was the ridiculous number of times Rylan called Niles baby. I was sure I would have noticed this the first time around, as excessive use of endearments are a pet peeve of mine. I compared to the original, and found that it went from four instances to sixteen, and at one point he called him sweetness, which didn't happen in the original. I don't understand why this was done, and it was just a major turn-off for me. At least this didn't happen until Part II, so Part I was still incredibly hot!
The next difference I found was Rylan calling Niles good boy, dirty boy and *cringe* baby boy. It was just too much and didn't fit with the Rylan and Niles that I knew. Niles also underwent a personality change by becoming desperate for approval, worried about doing his best to "be good" for Rylan. He was edging dangerously close to the type of begging puppy dog sub I cannot stand. Here's an example of how a couple sentences could change him so much:
Original: "Please. Rylan. Please. Fuck me."
Published: "Please, Rylan. Please fuck me, please. I'll be so good for you, I'll make you feel so good. Please just fuck me."
Lastly, in regards to the D/s stuff, I think the author must have felt pressured to tame it down and introduce formalized BDSM concepts so as not to offend people. It felt less raw and real to me, and changed the nature of their relationship. This demonstrates what I consider the advantage of freefic, because the authors aren't constrained by the boundaries of what is deemed acceptable. Maybe most people would prefer the published version, but in my eyes, it lost something special.
Overall, I'd have to give this edition 3 stars, but I'm leaving the 5 star rating because it was well deserved for the original. Most of my issues with it were in Part II, so at least Part I was still amazingly good. I'm glad I spent the money on the published book because the author earned it with the first story I read and loved. However, I'm just going to remove the new version from my kindle and pretend I never read it!
Original Review of Unpublished Story:
I just love this story. Niles is so endearingly unsure of everything, and Rylan is the perfect blend of sweet and sexy! I LOVE the writing style, and the sex is amazing. I was constantly smiling and laughing throughout the story. It was such a fun read, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Highly recommend.
It hurts to say this, but I very much prefer the original unpublished version of this book. I wish I could say the changes were an improvement, but unfortunately they "fixed" something that wasn't broken. This went from being a unique, lovely story about two young adults figuring out their kinky relationship to one of the same old BDSM books that are a dime a dozen. It's kind of crazy how the addition of a few words and sentences here and there can change the dynamic so much.
The first thing I noticed was the ridiculous number of times Rylan called Niles baby. I was sure I would have noticed this the first time around, as excessive use of endearments are a pet peeve of mine. I compared to the original, and found that it went from four instances to sixteen, and at one point he called him sweetness, which didn't happen in the original. I don't understand why this was done, and it was just a major turn-off for me. At least this didn't happen until Part II, so Part I was still incredibly hot!
The next difference I found was Rylan calling Niles good boy, dirty boy and *cringe* baby boy. It was just too much and didn't fit with the Rylan and Niles that I knew. Niles also underwent a personality change by becoming desperate for approval, worried about doing his best to "be good" for Rylan. He was edging dangerously close to the type of begging puppy dog sub I cannot stand. Here's an example of how a couple sentences could change him so much:
Original: "Please. Rylan. Please. Fuck me."
Published: "Please, Rylan. Please fuck me, please. I'll be so good for you, I'll make you feel so good. Please just fuck me."
Lastly, in regards to the D/s stuff, I think the author must have felt pressured to tame it down and introduce formalized BDSM concepts so as not to offend people. It felt less raw and real to me, and changed the nature of their relationship. This demonstrates what I consider the advantage of freefic, because the authors aren't constrained by the boundaries of what is deemed acceptable. Maybe most people would prefer the published version, but in my eyes, it lost something special.
Overall, I'd have to give this edition 3 stars, but I'm leaving the 5 star rating because it was well deserved for the original. Most of my issues with it were in Part II, so at least Part I was still amazingly good. I'm glad I spent the money on the published book because the author earned it with the first story I read and loved. However, I'm just going to remove the new version from my kindle and pretend I never read it!
Original Review of Unpublished Story:
I just love this story. Niles is so endearingly unsure of everything, and Rylan is the perfect blend of sweet and sexy! I LOVE the writing style, and the sex is amazing. I was constantly smiling and laughing throughout the story. It was such a fun read, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Highly recommend.
menomica's review
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I LOVED this book. So many things in media revolve their plot around an inability to communicate but hhis book does the exact opposite: it discusses insecurities and fears with relationships and how talking abt them with your partner can be scary, but is very necessary. I also LOVED the element of BDSM. I wasn’t into all of it (blood-play is not really my cup of tea), but I think it went well with the themes of communication . I also really loved Shona because she was such a good friend who’s concerned for the safety of her friend and helped Niles get the nerve to have the very important discussions with Rylan that needed to happen!!
All in all, I truly loved this book. Very nice and sweet
Spoiler
, especially with the scene with the choking. It is so important to establish consent and I love how O’Gleadra potrayed it.All in all, I truly loved this book. Very nice and sweet
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood
Moderate: Cancer and Medical content
Minor: Alcoholism and Child death
xeni's review
4.0
Sometimes short stories are really so much better than long ones. This is a case of that. Although a longer super-length novel may have been nice, I feel like Rylan's and Niel's relationship was presented wonderfully in these 21 chapter segments.
For being online fiction it really is that much more delicious! It only took me a few hours to read... great pre-betime fun for me!
Only four stars because it still felt like some "amazing quality" was lacking, though. Not quite sure exactly what that would be, but there you have it.
For being online fiction it really is that much more delicious! It only took me a few hours to read... great pre-betime fun for me!
Only four stars because it still felt like some "amazing quality" was lacking, though. Not quite sure exactly what that would be, but there you have it.
jsedge's review
4.0
So...a whole lot of this book is kinda whacked-out-crazy and, seriously, a tad disturbing. And, yeah, by that I am mostly giving the nod toward the sex scenes. But not just the sex scenes. There was WTF-ery all over this story. And, ya know what? It. Was. Brilliant.
Niles, our adorably neurotic narrator, leads us into his relationship with the adorably domineering, Rylan, with the startling revelation that, although they've been together 3yrs, although they act like a couple and everyone knows them to be a couple, he has no frigging clue if they actually are a couple. THREE YEARS! Insane, right? How, even? Yet from Niles' telling of it, I found myself, like, yeah...I get it.Sort of. He has these ques and doubts; he keeps em to himself; time passes and it gets to the point it's too late to address em without sounding like a moron or getting a verbal bashing/ broken heart for the ignorance. So he keeps em shut in and just secretly obsesses.
Communication channels do, of course, open eventually, and that scene was super lovely. Had me all tingly and stuff :)
Neurotic characters are sort of hit and miss with me. Sometimes they come across whiny and rambly and they drive me nuts. In truth, Niles was kinda rambly -kinda whiny too -yet... he really worked for me. I found him immensely amusing, and endearing, and even though a fair bit of his thinking had me like 'uh, say what now???', I could sorta, kinda relate to his screwy insecurities. He came across believably real.
Rylan, too, I took to in a 'I don't get what you do, but I like who you are' way. The further in I read, the more I learnt, the fonder I grew of him.
And I did really like them together. All dysfunctional and sweet.
Not an awful lot really happens in this... There's a mini drama with Nile's family, a teeny-tinier drama with Rylan's. Mainly, it stays focused on the two loved-up-crazies-who-don't-know-what-the hell's-going-on as they work to figure out what the hell is going on. It ain't dull in the slightest though. It's a highly enjoyable read
(And even though -yeah, sure -the sexy times took me out of my cosy lil comfort zone somewhat, they were seriously whoa, there! Ohhhmagawd enjoyably well written.
I liked this. Liked it very much indeed.
*Many thanks to the author, Anne O'Gleadra, and GR's New Adult Book Club for gifting me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
Niles, our adorably neurotic narrator, leads us into his relationship with the adorably domineering, Rylan, with the startling revelation that, although they've been together 3yrs, although they act like a couple and everyone knows them to be a couple, he has no frigging clue if they actually are a couple. THREE YEARS! Insane, right? How, even? Yet from Niles' telling of it, I found myself, like, yeah...I get it.
Communication channels do, of course, open eventually, and that scene was super lovely. Had me all tingly and stuff :)
Neurotic characters are sort of hit and miss with me. Sometimes they come across whiny and rambly and they drive me nuts. In truth, Niles was kinda rambly -kinda whiny too -yet... he really worked for me. I found him immensely amusing, and endearing, and even though a fair bit of his thinking had me like 'uh, say what now???', I could sorta, kinda relate to his screwy insecurities. He came across believably real.
Rylan, too, I took to in a 'I don't get what you do, but I like who you are' way. The further in I read, the more I learnt, the fonder I grew of him.
And I did really like them together. All dysfunctional and sweet.
Not an awful lot really happens in this... There's a mini drama with Nile's family, a teeny-tinier drama with Rylan's. Mainly, it stays focused on the two loved-up-crazies-who-don't-know-what-the hell's-going-on as they work to figure out what the hell is going on. It ain't dull in the slightest though. It's a highly enjoyable read
(And even though -yeah, sure -the sexy times took me out of my cosy lil comfort zone somewhat, they were seriously whoa, there! Ohhhmagawd enjoyably well written.
I liked this. Liked it very much indeed.
*Many thanks to the author, Anne O'Gleadra, and GR's New Adult Book Club for gifting me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
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