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gelslitreviews's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Genocide
Minor: Xenophobia and Abortion
mekowaletti's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Told from multiple generations about the personal trauma that flows through decisions made by those not thinking about individual impact. Just deep and raw and I loved the alternation from mother to daughter. You can't help but feel deeply for these characters and know that all decisions were based on what they thought was best.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Genocide, Misogyny, Sexism, Toxic relationship, and Xenophobia
Moderate: Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Suicide, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
fiifarts's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Xenophobia, Death of parent, and Pregnancy
moonadjacent's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence.
Two excerpts that showcase these themes:
"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."
"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."
With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.
Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.
Two excerpts that showcase these themes:
"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."
With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.
Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Grief, Religious bigotry, Abortion, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Genocide, Rape, Death of parent, Colonisation, and War
Minor: Child death, Suicide, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, and Murder
sassyykassie's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Violence, Murder, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcoholism, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Abortion
Minor: Child death, Genocide, Xenophobia, Car accident, Pregnancy, Abandonment, and War
cosymidlifebooknook's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.0
Three generations of Palestinian-American women living in Brooklyn are torn between individual desire and the strict senses of right and wrong in Arab culture. A Woman Is No Man is a heart-wrenching story of love, intrigue, strength and courage.
We follow the inter-twinning stories of Isra, her daughter Deya, and her oppressive mother-in-law Fareeda, exploring the complexities of family, culture, identity and honour.
Palestine 1990. 17 year book loving Isra is quickly married off and moves to Brooklyn, America with dreams of more freedom for a woman, but struggles to adapt to the control and the expectations of her mother-in-law Fareeda and strange new husband Adam.
Brooklyn 2008. Isra's eldest daughter 18 year old Deya wants to go to college but her grandmother Fareeda is insistent on her meeting potential suitors.
CW/TW: This book contains themes related to domestic abuse, emotional abuse, mental illness which may be distressing or triggering for some readers.
My Bookish Thoughts 💬
To say I enjoyed reading this book doesn't seem right, I feel the book is important for shedding light on the often silenced voices of women within conservative communities in this day and age and closer to home than we might think.
These are heartbreaking stories from women who are denied access to freedom to live, choose love and be educated. Women whose roles are as baby making machines to male heirs and to carry out the daily grind of never ending domestic chores.
The woman face oppression, shame, verbal and physical abuse and secrets slowly unfold to provide a heartbreaking and chilling story that needs to be told.
I thought the characters were well portrayed and evoked a wide range of emotions in me. It's not an easy read but it's definitely a compelling and thought provoking read.
We follow the inter-twinning stories of Isra, her daughter Deya, and her oppressive mother-in-law Fareeda, exploring the complexities of family, culture, identity and honour.
Palestine 1990. 17 year book loving Isra is quickly married off and moves to Brooklyn, America with dreams of more freedom for a woman, but struggles to adapt to the control and the expectations of her mother-in-law Fareeda and strange new husband Adam.
Brooklyn 2008. Isra's eldest daughter 18 year old Deya wants to go to college but her grandmother Fareeda is insistent on her meeting potential suitors.
CW/TW: This book contains themes related to domestic abuse, emotional abuse, mental illness which may be distressing or triggering for some readers.
My Bookish Thoughts 💬
To say I enjoyed reading this book doesn't seem right, I feel the book is important for shedding light on the often silenced voices of women within conservative communities in this day and age and closer to home than we might think.
These are heartbreaking stories from women who are denied access to freedom to live, choose love and be educated. Women whose roles are as baby making machines to male heirs and to carry out the daily grind of never ending domestic chores.
The woman face oppression, shame, verbal and physical abuse and secrets slowly unfold to provide a heartbreaking and chilling story that needs to be told.
I thought the characters were well portrayed and evoked a wide range of emotions in me. It's not an easy read but it's definitely a compelling and thought provoking read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Xenophobia
Moderate: Bullying, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, and Death of parent
dehahs's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Weeks later, and I’m still thinking about this book. I loved it — well paced, beautifully written, and compelling characters, even though they’re not all likeable. M only fear is the stereotypes it perpetuates, especially if read by someone who isn’t Arab or Muslim.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Xenophobia, Death of parent, Murder, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Alcoholism
rmaff's review against another edition
challenging
informative
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
5.0
I haven't been inclined to read literary fiction for the past few years but with current events in Palestine, I felt compelled to read this book. It's also worth noting that I live in the neighborhood in which this book takes place.
All that being said, this is the best, most moving and gripping book I've read in years. Although the story was mercilessly dark and hard to read at times, I could not put it down. I feel a new sense of appreciation for my own culture where I am a woman who's free to make my own choices; and I feel enlightened to how women in other cultures are treated and seen (or not).
After the big reveal around the 2/3 mark I wasn't sure how the rest of the story would play out but that final chapter was heart-wrenching.
Every woman should read this book regardless of their race, cultural background or home.
All that being said, this is the best, most moving and gripping book I've read in years. Although the story was mercilessly dark and hard to read at times, I could not put it down. I feel a new sense of appreciation for my own culture where I am a woman who's free to make my own choices; and I feel enlightened to how women in other cultures are treated and seen (or not).
After the big reveal around the 2/3 mark I wasn't sure how the rest of the story would play out but that final chapter was heart-wrenching.
Every woman should read this book regardless of their race, cultural background or home.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Rape, Sexism, Suicide, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Alcoholism, Xenophobia, and Alcohol
cherylzzzz's review against another edition
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Murder, and Pregnancy
mirchi's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
This book hurts. It tells the story of mainly two/three generations of women from a Palestinian/Palestinian-American family, focused on the misogyny that each generation ensures and perpetuates. The author is able to cleverly address the intersection and perceived overlap between culture and inherently patriarchal values. And more importantly, the author is able to draw a clear line of generational trauma between the three generation of women, without truly demonizing or deifying any one person. The author also discusses how harmful patriarchal values are to men, although the harm they endure does not justify the harm they cause. It is a complicated story which takes the space to humanize the evil and goodness in each person, while also not justifying any wrongdoings. Overall it is a beautiful book, but I would read it with several cups of hot chocolate.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Violence and Grief
Minor: Xenophobia and War