Reviews with content warning for Abortion - A Woman Is No Man

I finished this book within 24 hours. It was incredibly heartbreaking, I cried throughout it and sobbed at the end. Please check the triggers for this book, but if you can handle it, please read this one. This is the kind of book that stays with you.

We follow 3 generational POV's of Palestinian women, ranging from the 1970's to 2009. They are from the same family who immigrated from Palestine to the US. As the reader, we learn of the cultural and religious circumstances each of these women are born into and must navigate. They each face different experiences and series of oppressions, some given onto one another. Honestly, a lot of it feels so unfair, I wanted to pull my hair out at how this family operates with their expectations of women. I have to say hats off to Etaf Rum. I am nervous when reading literary fiction since I have had some negative experiences with the genre before. Etaf writes in such a clear raw way that she wants you to feel the situation our characters are in. You feel the anger, confusion, the strangulation, of their situations, you just can't help but empathize with these women.

I have such big feelings for the women in this book. I feel I can write a whole essay on them. Isra is the character we spend the most time with. It's so difficult to not empathize with her. She wants love, to be in love, to feel loved, but love is hard to reach for her. We watch her navigate marriage, motherhood, postpartum depression, and abuse. She's the character I cried the most for. Deya is another pov. She searches for the truth of what happened to her parent's past while trying to stand for what she believes in. Fareeda is the matriarch of the family and is the cause of a lot of pain the women in this book have to deal with. I honestly can not stand this character, and even though a lot about her past is revealed, I still despise her.

In all, A Woman is No Man has got to be one of the most heart-wrenching books I have read. I am so glad that I read it and it is now one of my favorite books.

Content Warnings

inkylabyrinth's review against another edition

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emotional reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No

2.0

This was just fine. The characters never felt real to me, so I wasn't invested in their well-being. But I appreciated the parts about Palestinian culture and food.

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caprivoyant's review against another edition

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emotional reflective

Plot- or character-driven? Character

I've been staring at my phone trying to write a review for 20 minutes. I can't. This book is beautiful. It'll break your heart and make you love your people (and stories) even more. That's all I've got.

Content Warnings

puttingwingsonwords's review against another edition

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reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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moonadjacent's review against another edition

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dark emotional inspiring sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

There aren't that many events that actually go into the plot and the mystery is not much of a focal point so mystery-lovers would probably be disappointed with the 'reveal'. This book is much more about the characters, their relationships with each other, intergenerational trauma, and the cycle of abuse/violence from colonialism to sexism to family violence.

Two excerpts that showcase these themes:

"...had taught her that the traumas of the world were inseparably connected. She was not surprised when her father came home and beat them mercilessly, the tragedy of the Nakba bulging in his veins... She knew that the suffering of women started in the suffering of men, that the bondages of one became the bondages of the other."

"...how shame could grow and morph and swallow someone until she had no choice but to pass it along so that she wasn't forced to bear it alone... She saw the chain of shame passed from one woman to the next so clearly now, saw her place in the cycle so vividly."

With the bleakness of the violence described, it would be easy to feel hopeless and unable to see a pathway for Deya (central character) to ever become a well-adjusted young woman free to make her own choices. However, while the author does not shy away from some quite graphic descriptions they also manage to maintain some sense of hope throughout the book. I believe the sense of wonder and escapism that books and storytelling bring to the characters is what helps keep this seemingly unwarranted hope stay alive.

Although the novel is somewhat repetitive in its recounting back and forth between set events and timeframes, I stayed hooked and eager to read til the end. I think Etaf Rum has done well to portray and give voice to a story that is true representation for a number of some. Even in the book, there is evidence that religion is not the basis for all culture, and culture cannot be taken as the sole basis for every action taken by a specific family or individual. How these influences manifest will be different for all and unfortunately terrible for some. Hopefully anyone with critical thinking skills can discern this difference and more of these stories can be shared without fearing potential backlash such as increasing prejudice towards Islam or Palestine.

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