The design and UX isn't done, Rob and Abbie, okkurrrr! 😌
laurieoneil's review against another edition
5.0
I highly recommend this book for anyone who knows somebody who is chronically ill.. or even ill for a long extended period of time.. also IMHO it's a great book to read on how to handle life in general. That being said this book has made me feel better about how I viewed being sick over the last 6 years, or rather how I treated myself.. it's all very confusing and no one tells you how to be sick when you are going through all this.. it's also helpful for people who are not sick to see what challenges we face and will always face. There are a lot of unknowns and a lot of is this normal to feel this way.. for me there was a lot of validation in knowing it is normal and a lot of other people who are sick feel this way. Thank you Toni for writing such an open and honest book..
noregrets4life33's review against another edition
5.0
These books have literally changed my life. I find it hard to adhere to all the changes in ways of thinking, but I am working on it!! These books are so worth it. Toni is a great inspiration.
* I received a free copy via Goodreads First Reads for review.
* I received a free copy via Goodreads First Reads for review.
thechronicknitter's review against another edition
4.0
I really enjoyed reading this book. If I didn't have so much going on I would have finished it sooner. I think that there is a lot of great information in this book both for the chronically ill as well as their caregivers and loved ones. There are many coping mechanisms that Bernhard walks you through, usually using her own personal examples. Some of these I have heard of and already do, and there are others that are new to me and that I am eager to try. There are also some things that she says that, I know are true and are things I should do, but I'm not ready to do them yet.
For instance, Bernhard says that we can't make people behave as we wish. That their actions say more about them than us, and that it is not the chronically ill person's fault, but that the pain following those actions is somewhat self-inflicted because we won't give up on them treating us the way we want them to. I know this is correct. That said, I don't think it's my fault, mostly because I know that they are the ones choosing to behave like an asshole, and that is how I shall think of it. Am I constantly facing unhealthy disappointment, yes. But I'm not ready to stop resenting them for being jerks. I hope that it will happen soon, and I will do my best to talk myself into it. If only for the selfish reason that it would make my life better.
This book is helpful to those who are new to the chronic illness life as well as those who know far too much about it. I wonder if some of my suffering could have been diminished if I had read this when my illnesses first came about, versus 8 years after the fact. There's a lot in here for everyone.
For instance, Bernhard says that we can't make people behave as we wish. That their actions say more about them than us, and that it is not the chronically ill person's fault, but that the pain following those actions is somewhat self-inflicted because we won't give up on them treating us the way we want them to. I know this is correct. That said, I don't think it's my fault, mostly because I know that they are the ones choosing to behave like an asshole, and that is how I shall think of it. Am I constantly facing unhealthy disappointment, yes. But I'm not ready to stop resenting them for being jerks. I hope that it will happen soon, and I will do my best to talk myself into it. If only for the selfish reason that it would make my life better.
This book is helpful to those who are new to the chronic illness life as well as those who know far too much about it. I wonder if some of my suffering could have been diminished if I had read this when my illnesses first came about, versus 8 years after the fact. There's a lot in here for everyone.
afion's review
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness
Moderate: Ableism and Grief
brocc's review against another edition
5.0
I read a lot of this with tears in my eyes of recognition - Toni Bernhard reminded me that it's okay to feel what I feel about being sick, and she has also given me some amazing techniques to cope when turbulence and grief arises.
sshabein's review against another edition
5.0
When I was first diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis, AKA the improperly named chronic fatigue syndrome, Toni Bernhard's first book, How to Be Sick, was tremendously helpful. And 8 years later, this third book of hers is just as relevant to me as that previous title I will likely have more thoughts on this book soon, but I recommend it for anyone trying to get through life as a chronically ill person, even if you think you "know" what to do. It also contains a lot of helpful reading for the caregivers, friends, and family members in a sick person's life. We're not going to get better, barring some advancement in medical science, so instead, let's find a way to make peace with our circumstances.
"It's impossible to write about chronic pain and illness without the subject of misconceptions coming up. The challenge of responding skillfully to the emotional pain of being misunderstood by those around us is a theme that runs throughout this book because it's a challenge that the chronically ill face at almost every turn."
dopadelirium's review against another edition
5.0
I don't give a lot of five star reviews. I'm really picky.
However, Bernhard's words are more comforting and soothing than the best cup of tea. She'll remind you of a kind mother cradling her child. Her advice and walk-through regarding meditation are great. I HATE MEDITATING. It's hard, damnit. And yet, Bernhard brings it about in such an approachable manner that I thought, "Maybe, I CAN do this..."
No bullshit. She knows where you're coming from.
She makes me feel like maybe this life can be easier. And that is worth it. This book was worth it.
If you are sick, emotionally wounded from your physical problems, here's your path to healing.
Enjoy.
However, Bernhard's words are more comforting and soothing than the best cup of tea. She'll remind you of a kind mother cradling her child. Her advice and walk-through regarding meditation are great. I HATE MEDITATING. It's hard, damnit. And yet, Bernhard brings it about in such an approachable manner that I thought, "Maybe, I CAN do this..."
No bullshit. She knows where you're coming from.
She makes me feel like maybe this life can be easier. And that is worth it. This book was worth it.
If you are sick, emotionally wounded from your physical problems, here's your path to healing.
Enjoy.
thoreaullywrought's review
5.0
I enjoyed this one much more than Bernhard's first effort, it felt more well-rounded and fleshed out than the previous effort. This one felt more like a straight-forward, "Here's how you live your life with chronic illness" guide. She effectively covers all aspects of chronic illness, even those that many overlook like the lives of your caregivers, managing a social life, being ill while young (that she defines as 30s and under), etc.
One of my favorite aspects of the books were the examples submitted by her readers on certain topics. Those brought all the feels for me
I particularly liked her discussions on guilt. She discusses everything from dealing with the guilt of turning down social invitations, missing work, changing doctors, dropping unhealthy relationships, how to deal with people that just don't "get it", etc. There was so much mental high-fiving going on while I read this book.
Berhard's specialty seems to lie in the invisible illness realm, since this is what she is experiencing herself. I found her readers submissions heartbreaking and frustrating but, also enlightening in how to deal with similar situations myself. In short, by the end, she does a good job in making the reader feel that it is ok to be sick, to advocate for yourself, and to basically look at others that don't get it with a big 'ol
One of my favorite aspects of the books were the examples submitted by her readers on certain topics. Those brought all the feels for me
I particularly liked her discussions on guilt. She discusses everything from dealing with the guilt of turning down social invitations, missing work, changing doctors, dropping unhealthy relationships, how to deal with people that just don't "get it", etc. There was so much mental high-fiving going on while I read this book.
Berhard's specialty seems to lie in the invisible illness realm, since this is what she is experiencing herself. I found her readers submissions heartbreaking and frustrating but, also enlightening in how to deal with similar situations myself. In short, by the end, she does a good job in making the reader feel that it is ok to be sick, to advocate for yourself, and to basically look at others that don't get it with a big 'ol
