sweddy65's review against another edition
4.0
I would climb into bed at night thinking, "I'm going to just read for half an hour before I turn the lights out," and then I would read and read and read. I couldn't put this book down.
Love, friendship, AIDS, all done in beautiful writing. It both broke my heart and brought me joy.
Love, friendship, AIDS, all done in beautiful writing. It both broke my heart and brought me joy.
misscalije's review against another edition
5.0
Spanbauer has awed me once again. This is the second novel of his I’ve read, and while I still have a certain love for Now Is The Hour, this one equally left me asking what the fuck.
The story deals with queer themes and mental illness, and that alone makes it worth the read. And of course, I feel a special connection to Benjamin Grunewald, the main character, because we both graduated from Idaho State University with degrees in English.
But Spanbauer’s refined ability to use repetition gives this novel a five star quality. He packs so much feeling into words and phrases, things that reference Grunewald’s past or his feelings about the world, that do most of the emotional work of his prose. This device turns the novel into an exploration of the ways in which the societal institutions of relationships can hinder and bolster our expression. Grunewald repeatedly resists and falls victim to a society of homophobia and heteronormativity. The novel is not a showcase of despair, however. These struggles make the bright points of Benjamin’s life even more touching and powerful.
Ben’s relationship with Hank Christian, a straight man and fellow writer, is the obvious focus of most of Ben’s emotion. We learn straight away that this novel will be about their relationship. Ben reveals early his AIDS diagnosis and Hank’s death, and the wasted last years of Hank’s life that were prompted by a letter ending with “got to go pal.” In this way, Spanbauer invites the reader to focus less on the shocking story of their falling out, shying away from a linear storyline and instead focusing on the true humanity and love that these two characters shared.
I feel like I’m a bit rusty at my book report writing skills. But there you go. If anyone knows Tome Spanbauer, tell me how to get in contact with him. I have to tell him how my grandfather graduated from ISU the same year as him, and about the accompanying sleuthing I did afterwards to figure out if there was an Idahoan conspiracy out against him, and how through reading this book I just realized the answer was that “you never go back to your hometown if what you’re looking for is love.”
The story deals with queer themes and mental illness, and that alone makes it worth the read. And of course, I feel a special connection to Benjamin Grunewald, the main character, because we both graduated from Idaho State University with degrees in English.
But Spanbauer’s refined ability to use repetition gives this novel a five star quality. He packs so much feeling into words and phrases, things that reference Grunewald’s past or his feelings about the world, that do most of the emotional work of his prose. This device turns the novel into an exploration of the ways in which the societal institutions of relationships can hinder and bolster our expression. Grunewald repeatedly resists and falls victim to a society of homophobia and heteronormativity. The novel is not a showcase of despair, however. These struggles make the bright points of Benjamin’s life even more touching and powerful.
Ben’s relationship with Hank Christian, a straight man and fellow writer, is the obvious focus of most of Ben’s emotion. We learn straight away that this novel will be about their relationship. Ben reveals early his AIDS diagnosis and Hank’s death, and the wasted last years of Hank’s life that were prompted by a letter ending with “got to go pal.” In this way, Spanbauer invites the reader to focus less on the shocking story of their falling out, shying away from a linear storyline and instead focusing on the true humanity and love that these two characters shared.
I feel like I’m a bit rusty at my book report writing skills. But there you go. If anyone knows Tome Spanbauer, tell me how to get in contact with him. I have to tell him how my grandfather graduated from ISU the same year as him, and about the accompanying sleuthing I did afterwards to figure out if there was an Idahoan conspiracy out against him, and how through reading this book I just realized the answer was that “you never go back to your hometown if what you’re looking for is love.”
filawless's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
4.0
A book I had never heard of until a friend put out a plea for people to read it and discuss it. Beautifully written, very lyrical journey of a gay man in New York who was diagnosed with AIDS. It follows his adult life both prior to diagnosis and following diagnosis and the complexity of loving people in various forms whether as friends or lovers or sometimes an intersection of the two.
I would liken it to a book version of Its A Sin
I would liken it to a book version of Its A Sin
chukg's review against another edition
4.0
Excellent prose, turns of phrase and relationships, evokes the time and place it's set.
alrigby24's review against another edition
4.0
There were parts of this book that I loved, and other parts that I felt were trying a bit too hard. The story at its core is about the narrator, Ben Grunewald, and his love life. While it mostly focuses on his friend Hank, and another woman named Ruth who comes heavily into the narrative for the last third of the book. It is more about Hank and Ben than anything else. Ben is gay, Hank is straight. The book reminded me a lot of 'A Home at the End of the World' by Michael Cunningham. I read that years ago so don't remember it as well as I probably should, but the idea of a love triangle like this one is pretty much the same general plot in that novel too.
I felt like Ben was a very realistically flawed and human narrator, and I found how he told his story to be extremely intriguing. His voice is the best part of the book. I was frustrated because at times I felt like the pseudo love story between Hank and Ben never really took off. Yes, I get that Hank is a straight man, but the way he seemed to be going back and forth and exploring his sexuality never went as far as I would have liked it to. I wish Hank and Ben would have had more of a relationship in the way that Ben wanted, because I think that could have justified Ben's adoration for Hank so much more.
The writing is great and I loved how Spanbauer kept circling back to certain words like 'propinquity' and scenes, and messages, and desires. His writing style is definitely distinct and it made the book that much more enjoyable to read. That being said, and this is no fault to the author, but I did find a few mistakes in the book, where words were missing. Book Two is also labeled twice where the second time it should be Book Three. Not huge mistakes, but distractions nevertheless that could have been caught with better editing.
I wanted this book to be a little bit more gay than it actually ended up being, but still, I highly recommend it.
I felt like Ben was a very realistically flawed and human narrator, and I found how he told his story to be extremely intriguing. His voice is the best part of the book. I was frustrated because at times I felt like the pseudo love story between Hank and Ben never really took off. Yes, I get that Hank is a straight man, but the way he seemed to be going back and forth and exploring his sexuality never went as far as I would have liked it to. I wish Hank and Ben would have had more of a relationship in the way that Ben wanted, because I think that could have justified Ben's adoration for Hank so much more.
The writing is great and I loved how Spanbauer kept circling back to certain words like 'propinquity' and scenes, and messages, and desires. His writing style is definitely distinct and it made the book that much more enjoyable to read. That being said, and this is no fault to the author, but I did find a few mistakes in the book, where words were missing. Book Two is also labeled twice where the second time it should be Book Three. Not huge mistakes, but distractions nevertheless that could have been caught with better editing.
I wanted this book to be a little bit more gay than it actually ended up being, but still, I highly recommend it.
rdebner's review against another edition
5.0
This is a beautiful story about different kinds of love, the things we do to mess up our lives, and loss. It is also the story of a certain time and place -- here, New York in the 1980s -- and how one moves on from that.
barkyblue's review against another edition
4.0
Tom Spanbauer. I love you. Not my favorite book of yours but I loved it nonetheless.
maree_k's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Almost gave up on it about 2/3 through but glad I didn’t. It’s a book worth staying witn.
mattpr_co's review against another edition
2.0
I know the background of this story. I've read the author's philosophy on writing. "I Loved You More" though, is not written for me. I lost my patience with the book many times. I understand the device that Spanbauer is using to try to bring you into the narrator's thoughts, but the prose leans tediously nostalgic and repetitive though out much of the book. It's a shame because there is a really good, sincere, warm story in there. The meat of the story could have been preserved and been much shorter in my view.
Fucking book, man.
Fucking book, man.
starnosedmole's review against another edition
4.0
This novel is emotionally intimate and vulnerable in a way that many writers shy away from. Spanbauer beautifully captures the pain, love and nuances of long friendships and mismatched relationships. The book's pacing is uneven, but is well worth sticking with to its finale.