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poetricsoap's review
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
***may contain spoilers of content***
In general I really like the book. I specifically loved the highlight of the privilege because I think we tend to overlook these pretty easily! There are only one or two point that I don't agree with the author, e.g. if you have trauma, you shouldn't enter into a relationship.
In general I really like the book. I specifically loved the highlight of the privilege because I think we tend to overlook these pretty easily! There are only one or two point that I don't agree with the author, e.g. if you have trauma, you shouldn't enter into a relationship.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Biphobia, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Transphobia, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Body shaming, Eating disorder, Mental illness, and Outing
paulamarie1468's review
challenging
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Abortion, Lesbophobia, Outing, Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Colonisation, and Classism
theundecidedcat's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
For the most part I really liked it. Florence Given writes/reads/speaks so beautifully and infectiously. Half the book feels like you’re in a therapy session, full of reflection, hard truths, and self care. Some parts later on though I don’t fully agree with. Recommend for women & queer people to give it a read, especially a listen on audiobook. It’s read by Florence.
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Racism, Rape, Sexual violence, Transphobia, and Sexual harassment
feliciavanleeuwen's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
3.75
As a chronically online intersectional feminist this brought no real new info but it reinforced my ideas of feminism and my leftist ideals.
I like her writing style and a lot of the book is very recognizable as a bi woman of the same age. Its a great introduction for people that are not that deep in to (intersectional) femenism yet.
The only thing that I'm missing is when she lists marginalised groups she tends to omit disabled in the list. Maybe she focuses on it more in the full version, but sometimes every marginality is mentioned but that. I know it's the short version but it wouldn't have added a page I think.
I like her writing style and a lot of the book is very recognizable as a bi woman of the same age. Its a great introduction for people that are not that deep in to (intersectional) femenism yet.
The only thing that I'm missing is when she lists marginalised groups she tends to omit disabled in the list. Maybe she focuses on it more in the full version, but sometimes every marginality is mentioned but that. I know it's the short version but it wouldn't have added a page I think.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, and Classism
Minor: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infertility, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Antisemitism, Lesbophobia, Outing, Sexual harassment, and Colonisation
cassie12_21's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
4.25
This book was good and definitely gave me a few thing to think about (even as someone who is fairly far into the destruction of their internalized misogynist). Language used was inclusive, and I appreciated the inclusion of diverse groups, and not cis-het white feminism.
“disability” is not a word, It is supposed to be “ablest”
A view of western feminism.
“disability” is not a word, It is supposed to be “ablest”
A view of western feminism.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Racism, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Biphobia, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Rape, Cultural appropriation, and Classism
das_nomi's review against another edition
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
4.25
I really liked the book. And I think I understand the hype. There wasn’t a lot of new information for me personally. But it got me thinking about some of my friendships in a new way, even though the content is more about “partner”-relationships. I feel very empowered and would like to read the chapters that were missing in this tiny version.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Body shaming, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Ableism, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Outing, and Gaslighting
Minor: Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
It’s a lighthearted approach to the problems modern women* face in our patriarchal society. With helpful “tips” to overcome our own internalised misogyny and recognise our own faults as well as setting boundaries for ourselves.charlotteer's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Found this book very cathartic and enlightening to read, especially as I am currently focusing on being more active in my healing process. Some of the information was repetitive and wasn't new but I believe it was important to be mentioned and drilled in.
This book allowed me to see certain things in a new light and has lit a fire for me to do better for myself and others. It has held me accountable for my lack of boundaries (people-pleasing), privilege and made me realise the negative behaviours I had (especially when it came to apologies).
This book allowed me to see certain things in a new light and has lit a fire for me to do better for myself and others. It has held me accountable for my lack of boundaries (people-pleasing), privilege and made me realise the negative behaviours I had (especially when it came to apologies).
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism, Homophobia, Racism, Sexual violence, and Transphobia
Florence Given does give trigger warnings on the chapters that include references to sexual assault.james1star's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
4.0
On the whole I did ‘enjoy’ (not the most apt word but it’s what I’m going with) this book and would recommend it. What I liked most was how Given makes sure to address her privilege as an ‘average size’ cisgender white British woman within the discourse of feminism/feminist theory and acknowledges this fact and how marginalised groups (trans/non binary women, fat women, women of colour) are unfairly treated and held to a higher standard by both women and men. As many reviewers have said, a lot of what is actually said isn’t really all that groundbreaking but I would argue it’s been personalised to Given’s life at the appropriate points, it’s succinct, well written and accessible. I did only read the small edition so I’m guessing I missed out on parts too. Below are some notes I made on each chapter so if you’re interested in them check out the book for more information. I’d say it was a solid 4 star read.
- Challenging what we’ve learned and the society we’ve grown up in is hard and uncomfortable but needed for change to occur and the little discomfort is a lot less compared to the injustices, be patient but also call out when appropriate
- Being or making yourself more ‘pretty’ doesn’t make you any less of a feminist because society still values beauty in women highly, different standards for different women e.g. trans, fat, people of colour where additional prejudices are present, acknowledge privileges
- Love yourself, no one really cares about what you’re doing/how you look, why settle when there’s something/one better
- Internalised misogyny prevents progress, ‘flaws’ are MAN-made, beauty standards are fake, healing own insecurities will lead to empathy and viewing other women differently/in a more positive light
- Queer feelings are valid, working though internalised homo/lesbo/bi-phobia, limited and stereotypical views of queerness prevented her from validating feelings, oversaturated heteronormativity in media (it’s ‘hetrifying’), queer women view others via a queer gaze not the typical heterosexual male gaze
- Women can and should enjoy sex too (if they want), reinforces notion they’re passive participants reserved for men’s desires, normalised discomfort forces queer women to repress their feelings
- Asking for consent > sexual assault, shows maturity and it’s the law, providing the option of not doing anything, need to learn this before sexual violence takes place, set and keep boundaries
- Can’t teach how to avoid sexual assault because it’s never your fault, rape culture, ‘preventative’ measures women take when that’s not the problem, it’s physically impossibly to “ask” for rape, openly discuss sexual violence from a young age to avoid it becoming normalised/accepted, rape’s the only crime where the victim is treated/questioned like the perpetrator, inconsistencies with reporting and sentencing
- The price women pay for existing (so many adjustments, additional expenses, etc), spend money/energy keeping safe from men but paid less, standards are set by the hetero male gaze, ‘flaws’ generated by capitalist standards of beauty, still not that safe being visibly queer, women are meant to be sexy but when she uses this ‘power’ that’s a bad thing, how shame is used to put women down, sexual gaze thrusted on woman’s bodies (school uniform, nipples, etc)
- It’s okay and ‘normal’ to feel heartbroken, hard to quit people completely in our social media world, how to recover, craving romance doesn’t make you any less of a feminist
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
Minor: Biphobia, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Racism, Rape, Sexual content, Transphobia, and Lesbophobia
bunnyprincess's review
medium-paced
1.5
Most of the reviews on here carry the same sort of sentiment: 'I'm not the target audience of this book'. I think this accurately summarises my main issue with it: I don't really understand what the actual point of the book is, and who it is for.
It is simply worded and explains very basic concepts, sometimes in a manner which feels quite condescending, which would suggest it is for a younger audience newer to the idea presented, but this would not make sense as the book is quite explicit and definitely not appropriate for younger teens. Given clearly addresses the messages in it to women whilst simultaneously saying that men are the issue- again, I think this makes the audience of the book unclear.
Additionally, the purpose is unclear. Whilst the title suggests a focus on feminism, it is also about dating and queerness that sometimes is tied in but usually isn't. This gives the book a very unclear point. It does not clearly fit into a genre and includes both memoir and self-help. I found the memoir parts more useful and entertaining because it gives reason for her to actually have written the book based on her experiences. The self-help parts were far less successful. It is repetitive and vague: whilst I do not disagree with any of her points, they are very basic and surface-level.
My main issue with this book is its regard for intersection feminism and other identities other than Given's own. Whilst I appreciate her recognition of those identities and their further struggles, it felt performative and poorly done. It often felt like they weren't real due to the disconnect in her writing about POC, trans and disabled women, and the lack of voice she gives to them. Although it was mentioned, it was through her own white cis narration- if she had included their actual voices, it would've been a far better book. This, in addition to the issues around her copying a black author's book, makes this book a bad feminist guide.
Whilst this book has some merit in the pretty illustrations and the transparency on some issues such as sexual assault, it fails in most other areas. It is bad both as an beginners introduction due to its lack of clarity and as a further read due to its lack of representation and surface-level observations. It also very rarely references studies and facts- it seems more guided by the author's opinion which would be fine if it was written and marketed purely as a memoir, but it is not. There are far better feminist books.
It is simply worded and explains very basic concepts, sometimes in a manner which feels quite condescending, which would suggest it is for a younger audience newer to the idea presented, but this would not make sense as the book is quite explicit and definitely not appropriate for younger teens. Given clearly addresses the messages in it to women whilst simultaneously saying that men are the issue- again, I think this makes the audience of the book unclear.
Additionally, the purpose is unclear. Whilst the title suggests a focus on feminism, it is also about dating and queerness that sometimes is tied in but usually isn't. This gives the book a very unclear point. It does not clearly fit into a genre and includes both memoir and self-help. I found the memoir parts more useful and entertaining because it gives reason for her to actually have written the book based on her experiences. The self-help parts were far less successful. It is repetitive and vague: whilst I do not disagree with any of her points, they are very basic and surface-level.
My main issue with this book is its regard for intersection feminism and other identities other than Given's own. Whilst I appreciate her recognition of those identities and their further struggles, it felt performative and poorly done. It often felt like they weren't real due to the disconnect in her writing about POC, trans and disabled women, and the lack of voice she gives to them. Although it was mentioned, it was through her own white cis narration- if she had included their actual voices, it would've been a far better book. This, in addition to the issues around her copying a black author's book, makes this book a bad feminist guide.
Whilst this book has some merit in the pretty illustrations and the transparency on some issues such as sexual assault, it fails in most other areas. It is bad both as an beginners introduction due to its lack of clarity and as a further read due to its lack of representation and surface-level observations. It also very rarely references studies and facts- it seems more guided by the author's opinion which would be fine if it was written and marketed purely as a memoir, but it is not. There are far better feminist books.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Moderate: Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
nickitaylor915's review
funny
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
5.0
I absolutely loved this book! Florence Given is a talented writer and artist who has a unique perspective on feminism and self-love. Her writing is witty, engaging, and thought-provoking, and she tackles important issues such as body positivity, mental health, and relationships in a way that is both relatable and empowering. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a fresh take on feminism and self-care.
Summary:
"Women Don't Owe You Pretty" is a book that challenges traditional notions of femininity and encourages women to embrace their authentic selves. The author, Florence Given, uses her own experiences and insights to explore topics such as body image, relationships, mental health, and activism. She argues that women should not be defined by their appearance or their relationships with men, but should instead focus on cultivating self-love and pursuing their passions. The book is filled with colorful illustrations and inspiring quotes, making it a fun and engaging read. Overall, "Women Don't Owe You Pretty" is a must-read for anyone looking to break free from societal expectations and embrace their true selves.
Summary:
"Women Don't Owe You Pretty" is a book that challenges traditional notions of femininity and encourages women to embrace their authentic selves. The author, Florence Given, uses her own experiences and insights to explore topics such as body image, relationships, mental health, and activism. She argues that women should not be defined by their appearance or their relationships with men, but should instead focus on cultivating self-love and pursuing their passions. The book is filled with colorful illustrations and inspiring quotes, making it a fun and engaging read. Overall, "Women Don't Owe You Pretty" is a must-read for anyone looking to break free from societal expectations and embrace their true selves.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism
Minor: Homophobia