kaiyakaiyo's review
dark
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
this was a fun lead-up, but the end really lost me i can’t lie.
I was promised Bigfoot lesbian extravaganza & just got some sort of
the sparse Bigfoot teases amounted to an explosion (for lack of a better word) of very stilted action towards the end, and Renee made… so little sense. maybe this is what people mean when they say “cult leaders would love you” about a person but she was just a cardboard cut out of a character until suddenly she’s worshipping Bigfoot with boobs? her motivations made no sense and none of her actions seemed to match the others. her coming to a bi realization seemed promising, until it was completely lost in the Bigfoot worship?
I’m not sure if it was supposed to be funny but this book is actually really bleak in a not fun way. A bunch of (superficial) people, mostly young women, die brutal, awful deaths & it’s kinda just like… anyways, here’s lesbians who kill for Bigfoot, no elaboration!!!!! if this was going for “queer revenge plot”, it definitely got lost on the way there and landed in “sickos that happen to be lesbians obsessed with ape lady for some reason target young women tourists”. horror for horrors sake is fine ig but that’s not what i walked into this expecting.
also I’m just not a fan of “mean/superficial people die” media. rapists, racists, murderers, bigots, fine, but these are just girls with DEEP internal misogyny that go at other girls for insta followers… was this supposed to be some sort of overblown “karma”? some potshot at ~what they represent~? I really don’t know what to take from this. It kinda just feels like relatively innocent women were fed to a monster and the cult recruited another sicko to help. hooray? the production company making money off their deaths was maybe the only part of this that felt like realistic commentary, the rest is just ?????
Jeremy was a sleaze so not much pity there but frankly the host was just a sad drunk? Casey was a nerd stuck in high school mode & thought herself better than the contestants while being equally mercenary & obsessed with “getting ahead” of other women, but at least she was interesting. hated her guts but killing her off so soon was a complete waste. she had final girl potential if that was even a thing in this book. Mike getting framed was. unnecessary? the execution of this just felt like a low budget scary movie, the deaths were overly gruesome yet entirely devoid of meaning. they all died & Renee became an accomplice for… what? you can’t even say love bc frankly she didn’t seem to have that emotion. belonging maybe? even that feels too warm for her cold character. she faked this huge crush on Amanda even to herself, just to be completely unimpaired by her death? I am at such a loss to describe how nonsensical this book became
Don’t even get me started on the random love letters. I would find them lovely in a Lose The Time War way if they added literally anything to the book, but they don’t… am I supposed to go “Aw star-crossed lesbians with a happy ending” when said happy ending is killing young women? again this book just baffles me
Also the blogs from the missing sister???? cool at first but ultimately ?????
I picked this up in hopes of reading some Halloween month gayness & instead im just like. none of this made sense, these people are all terrible, & the worst ones didn’t even die. boo tomatoes
I was promised Bigfoot lesbian extravaganza & just got some sort of
Spoiler
sad, predatory cult tenuously tied to outdoorsy lesbians?the sparse Bigfoot teases amounted to an explosion (for lack of a better word) of very stilted action towards the end, and Renee made… so little sense. maybe this is what people mean when they say “cult leaders would love you” about a person but she was just a cardboard cut out of a character until suddenly she’s worshipping Bigfoot with boobs? her motivations made no sense and none of her actions seemed to match the others. her coming to a bi realization seemed promising, until it was completely lost in the Bigfoot worship?
I’m not sure if it was supposed to be funny but this book is actually really bleak in a not fun way. A bunch of (superficial) people, mostly young women, die brutal, awful deaths & it’s kinda just like… anyways, here’s lesbians who kill for Bigfoot, no elaboration!!!!! if this was going for “queer revenge plot”, it definitely got lost on the way there and landed in “sickos that happen to be lesbians obsessed with ape lady for some reason target young women tourists”. horror for horrors sake is fine ig but that’s not what i walked into this expecting.
also I’m just not a fan of “mean/superficial people die” media. rapists, racists, murderers, bigots, fine, but these are just girls with DEEP internal misogyny that go at other girls for insta followers… was this supposed to be some sort of overblown “karma”? some potshot at ~what they represent~? I really don’t know what to take from this. It kinda just feels like relatively innocent women were fed to a monster and the cult recruited another sicko to help. hooray? the production company making money off their deaths was maybe the only part of this that felt like realistic commentary, the rest is just ?????
Jeremy was a sleaze so not much pity there but frankly the host was just a sad drunk? Casey was a nerd stuck in high school mode & thought herself better than the contestants while being equally mercenary & obsessed with “getting ahead” of other women, but at least she was interesting. hated her guts but killing her off so soon was a complete waste. she had final girl potential if that was even a thing in this book. Mike getting framed was. unnecessary? the execution of this just felt like a low budget scary movie, the deaths were overly gruesome yet entirely devoid of meaning. they all died & Renee became an accomplice for… what? you can’t even say love bc frankly she didn’t seem to have that emotion. belonging maybe? even that feels too warm for her cold character. she faked this huge crush on Amanda even to herself, just to be completely unimpaired by her death? I am at such a loss to describe how nonsensical this book became
Don’t even get me started on the random love letters. I would find them lovely in a Lose The Time War way if they added literally anything to the book, but they don’t… am I supposed to go “Aw star-crossed lesbians with a happy ending” when said happy ending is killing young women? again this book just baffles me
Also the blogs from the missing sister???? cool at first but ultimately ?????
I picked this up in hopes of reading some Halloween month gayness & instead im just like. none of this made sense, these people are all terrible, & the worst ones didn’t even die. boo tomatoes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Death, Gore, and Murder
Moderate: Homophobia, Lesbophobia, and Misogyny
Minor: Racism and Suicidal thoughts
kelly_e's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
Title: Patricia Wants to Cuddle
Author: Samantha Allen
Genre: Horror
Rating: 1.50
Pub Date: June 28, 2022
T H R E E • W O R D S
Unique • Absurd • Gruesome
📖 S Y N O P S I S
On this season of The Catch, contestants must compete for love. And their lives.
When the final four women in competition for an aloof, somewhat sleazy bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and, of course, the salacious drama eager viewers nationwide tune in to devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons—brand sponsorships, followers, and, yes, even love—and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes. Enter Patricia, a temperamental and woefully misunderstood local living alone in the dark, verdant woods, and desperate for connection. Through twists as unexpected as they are wildly entertaining, the self-absorbed cast and jaded crew each make her acquaintance atop the island’s tallest and most desolate peak, finding themselves at the center of an action-packed thriller that is far from scripted—and only a few will make the final cut.
💭 T H O U G H T S
How did this bizarre, satirical, completely outside my comfort zone, novel fall into my hands? Well that's the beauty of online book club events. This is nothing I would have ever picked up on my own accord, but peer pressure is real even in adulthood.
Writing this review is difficult because I don't even know what I read. I was expecting one thing and got something completely different - so I definitely think there was poor marketing of what this book is. The build up through the first half was slow, yet the second half was packed with senseless violence and trying to cover too many different storyline.
I understand Patricia Wants to Cuddle is Samantha Allen's attempt at social commentary through the reality show trope. However, when I finally made it to the end, I was confused because nothing was resolved. It was was one of those books that left me with that 'what the heck' feeling. I am not really sure what I read. One thing I am sure about is I am not the intended audience for this book. While it's hard for me to see myself recommending this to anyone, if you're book club is looking for something that is guaranteed to spark discussion than this would definitely fit the bill.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• fans of the reality TV trope
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"By the way, Maggie, quick news flash from the future: we don’t wear socks with Birkenstocks anymore."
"Imagine a world so small that your ego can fill all of it."
Author: Samantha Allen
Genre: Horror
Rating: 1.50
Pub Date: June 28, 2022
T H R E E • W O R D S
Unique • Absurd • Gruesome
📖 S Y N O P S I S
On this season of The Catch, contestants must compete for love. And their lives.
When the final four women in competition for an aloof, somewhat sleazy bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and, of course, the salacious drama eager viewers nationwide tune in to devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons—brand sponsorships, followers, and, yes, even love—and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes. Enter Patricia, a temperamental and woefully misunderstood local living alone in the dark, verdant woods, and desperate for connection. Through twists as unexpected as they are wildly entertaining, the self-absorbed cast and jaded crew each make her acquaintance atop the island’s tallest and most desolate peak, finding themselves at the center of an action-packed thriller that is far from scripted—and only a few will make the final cut.
💭 T H O U G H T S
How did this bizarre, satirical, completely outside my comfort zone, novel fall into my hands? Well that's the beauty of online book club events. This is nothing I would have ever picked up on my own accord, but peer pressure is real even in adulthood.
Writing this review is difficult because I don't even know what I read. I was expecting one thing and got something completely different - so I definitely think there was poor marketing of what this book is. The build up through the first half was slow, yet the second half was packed with senseless violence and trying to cover too many different storyline.
I understand Patricia Wants to Cuddle is Samantha Allen's attempt at social commentary through the reality show trope. However, when I finally made it to the end, I was confused because nothing was resolved. It was was one of those books that left me with that 'what the heck' feeling. I am not really sure what I read. One thing I am sure about is I am not the intended audience for this book. While it's hard for me to see myself recommending this to anyone, if you're book club is looking for something that is guaranteed to spark discussion than this would definitely fit the bill.
📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• fans of the reality TV trope
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"By the way, Maggie, quick news flash from the future: we don’t wear socks with Birkenstocks anymore."
"Imagine a world so small that your ego can fill all of it."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Religious bigotry, Misogyny, Gore, Violence, Murder, Gun violence, Death, Lesbophobia, Body horror, Injury/Injury detail, and Homophobia
Moderate: Mental illness, Alcohol, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Car accident, Racism, and Alcoholism
Minor: Cancer, Animal death, Abortion, Sexual content, and Sexism
shayminxcx's review against another edition
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This book was really fun and a worthwhile read. I had a great time with it , especially as a lover of overproduced reality tv. It was quite short yet the pace was perfect and it didn’t lag or feel too rushed.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal death, Blood, and Body horror
Moderate: Lesbophobia and Vomit
katlouisee's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
funny
lighthearted
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Absolutely unhinged. I kinda loved it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gore, Murder, Car accident, Death, Violence, Gun violence, and Torture
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Biphobia, Lesbophobia, Abortion, Racism, and Religious bigotry
hannahpings's review against another edition
funny
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.75
picked up patricia because i wanted to read the book the cover blurbs were raving about. i still want to read that book. this is not that book.
self-indulgent and dragging first and second acts are so caught up in the characters, complexes, and institutions they're lampooning that they end up almost as vapid and certainly as weightless. satire requires clarity of purpose and target etc etc
was originally going to give this a 2.5, but a satisfying—if unearned, and unsubstantiated—third act brought it up a bit.
ultimately, i can't help but feel like this is a book that's begging to get picked up for a movie deal, which would probably be the best fate for it. it'd certainly make a better (clearer, better constructed, more precise) movie than it does a novel.
self-indulgent and dragging first and second acts are so caught up in the characters, complexes, and institutions they're lampooning that they end up almost as vapid and certainly as weightless. satire requires clarity of purpose and target etc etc
was originally going to give this a 2.5, but a satisfying—if unearned, and unsubstantiated—third act brought it up a bit.
ultimately, i can't help but feel like this is a book that's begging to get picked up for a movie deal, which would probably be the best fate for it. it'd certainly make a better (clearer, better constructed, more precise) movie than it does a novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Kidnapping, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Blood, Addiction, Body horror, Car accident, Death, Violence, Gore, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, and Abortion
Minor: Homophobia and Lesbophobia
savvylit's review against another edition
dark
funny
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Patricia Wants to Cuddle is perhaps the perfect beach read. It's fun, mysterious, campy, and a little bit scary. As though you were actually watching reality TV, reading this book makes you voyeuristically invested in the exaggerated dynamics of The Catch cast. That in itself is quite an entertaining feat! But then add Bigfoot literally lurking in the background at all times? Next-level amusement.
However, there were two aspects of Patricia Wants to Cuddle that I wish were further explored: queer romance and Patricia herself. I would have loved to have "met" Patricia sooner in the story. Alas, I may just have to continue wondering about her. Was Patricia a villain or just misunderstood??
Edited · 3d
Content Warnings
Graphic: Murder, Violence, Biphobia, Lesbophobia, Physical abuse, Injury/Injury detail, and Racism
emzhay's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
funny
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This was fun, but not as exciting as it’s made out to be. It’s more of a comical unpacking of reality television than a lesbian horror romcom.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Death, and Gore
Moderate: Lesbophobia
Minor: Racism and Abortion
mosshaunt's review against another edition
dark
funny
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
MUCH more of a "monster-driven gory horror and satire of reality TV" than "sapphic monster romcom" as some marketing makes it sound.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Gore, Murder, Religious bigotry, Violence, Blood, and Car accident
Moderate: Homophobia and Lesbophobia
Minor: Sexual content, Abortion, and Cancer
gruhuken's review against another edition
dark
funny
hopeful
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
I really love this kind of horror. I had a lot of fun reading this; the humour was pretty funny, it had a few really scary moments and the ending was surprisingly sweet. It felt a little too short, I wanted to know way more about the strange main character (what the hell was she even doing on the dating show to begin with??). The second half is where it becomes a slasher but I also felt that went by far too quickly, as if it was trying to get the characters out of the way rather than giving time to breathe within kills. A lot of questions, especially about the members of the island group, went unanswered in a way that didn't satisfy me. Would recommend this though, if not just for a quick, weird and funny queer read about. Found family? And sasquatches.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Blood, Car accident, Death, Murder, Violence, and Gore
Moderate: Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Alcoholism, Bullying, Grief, and Gun violence
Minor: Abortion, Kidnapping, Cancer, Sexual content, Racism, and Animal cruelty
Strong descriptions of violence, body mutilation and murder committed by a sasquatch creature. A character is grieving the death of her wife from cancer (this is mentioned in the beginning of the book). Some minor misogyny and racism towards the main character from a shitty guy, and some mild homophobia from a religious character. One mention of the D slur. Another character is mentioned multiple times to have alcohol problems. The main warning I would give is the gore: although the book retains a playful and comedic tone, there's a lot of dismemberment and bludgeoningchasingpages1's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
funny
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Car accident, Blood, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Gore, Alcoholism, Death, Injury/Injury detail, Misogyny, Murder, Racism, Religious bigotry, Stalking, Toxic friendship, and Violence
Moderate: Torture
Minor: Abortion, Biphobia, Suicide, Sexual content, Outing, and Grief