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canada_matt's review
4.0
I picked up Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic after having it recommended by my son's paediatrician. I was not entirely sure what to expect, as many people have told me that parenting, even discipline, is not rocket science. Truth be told, it had become a daunting and somewhat overwhelming task for me and I thought that if anything could help, I'd give it a try. Phelan chooses to break the book (and the system) down into three digestible portions: dealing with obnoxious behaviour, creating and sticking with routines, and strengthening parent-child relationships. He presents the system not as anything overly complex, but sometimes overlooked in the hustle and bustle of the every day life of a parent. By using basic techniques to tackle STOP behaviours (read: obnoxious), Phelan empowers the parent with a counting system sure to reap rewards if handled effectively. He differentiates this from START behaviours (things that need to be part of a regular routine or that NEED doing) by setting up praise, organising time limitations, injecting consequences, and following through in an emotionally neutral manner. All this, while continuing to foster the needed relationship with children so that they not only respect you as the parents (and not only for your disciplinarian skills) but also as a fellow human being. In a few short hours, any parent can be well on the way to better control of the situation and keep the emotional waves from crashing down on top of the household. Phelan lays it all out and makes it fun to learn.
The techniques Phelan professes are not anything you'd likely not agree with from the outset, but it is always better to see them supported with explanations and examples rather than off the cuff comments from other parents as they roll their eyes. The book is a wonderful tool to help build up parental confidence as well as structuring the household in a calm and level-headed manner. Parents and children alike will surely benefit from the skills and options presented in the twenty-five chapters, although neither may be as energetic in the early days. Empowerment is key, while respect is also an essential part of Phelan's program and it can all be done in a few weeks, with willing parental participants. With easy to understand explanations and no psychobabble, Phelan is able to sell the idea quite easily and helps parents retain control of the household, while not appearing overly dictatorial and frigid.
Kudos, Dr. Phelan for such a great book that helped boost my confidence in what will surely be a trying task.
The techniques Phelan professes are not anything you'd likely not agree with from the outset, but it is always better to see them supported with explanations and examples rather than off the cuff comments from other parents as they roll their eyes. The book is a wonderful tool to help build up parental confidence as well as structuring the household in a calm and level-headed manner. Parents and children alike will surely benefit from the skills and options presented in the twenty-five chapters, although neither may be as energetic in the early days. Empowerment is key, while respect is also an essential part of Phelan's program and it can all be done in a few weeks, with willing parental participants. With easy to understand explanations and no psychobabble, Phelan is able to sell the idea quite easily and helps parents retain control of the household, while not appearing overly dictatorial and frigid.
Kudos, Dr. Phelan for such a great book that helped boost my confidence in what will surely be a trying task.
smellymelly40's review against another edition
5.0
Simple process and easy to read and then apply. Was seeing positive and occasionally magical results before I'd finished the book.
Is also compatible with a gentle parenting philosophy in my opinion.
Is also compatible with a gentle parenting philosophy in my opinion.
editingkate27's review against another edition
4.0
I enjoyed this book, but I haven't applied it yet because my daughter is too young. I think it will be a future resource though.
petezilla's review against another edition
4.0
I gave it four stars because it made sense and was an easy read. I’ll come back and give it five stars if it works!
kmdra06's review against another edition
4.0
A clear and concise approach to stopping bad behaviors, starting good ones, and promoting strong relationships.
douglasjsellers's review against another edition
3.0
It just is to long for what it is. Tons of filler thought the central lessons are strong. The 1-2-3 counting has worked since I have tried it.
that_bookish_life's review against another edition
2.0
This book definitely instructs you on how to use their approach to discipline, but I didn't like it's "one size fits all" attitude. Also, I felt that the focus definitely revolved around stopping negative behaviors rather than starting "positive" ones (although it was discussed). Just like any other parenting book I'll take from this what I agree with and find applicable, but I'm not sure that we'll literally utilize the 1-2-3 Magic practice.
tazmama's review against another edition
5.0
This book was a life saver-highly recommend to any parent--especially to those with a "spirited" Child:)
krista's review against another edition
5.0
This book lines up well with my beliefs and style, at least in theory--my kid is just over a year old, so we're untested in this kind of discipline. It's clearly written and I think we will actually be able to follow it, which is key. I read this book from the library but am buying a copy to keep for reference.
I only have two small quibbles. Number one, there's not much for someone like me, who's reading ahead and wants to get off on the right foot. I know, I know, the title says "Children 2-12" so I'm not taking any stars off for that, but I was still hoping for instructions on how to ease into counting, etc., with a very young child, rather than jumping in to change a discipline strategy that's not working. My second (and only legitimate) quibble is that I think there are better approaches to picky eaters. That's a very small part of the book and it won't be difficult to omit it.
I only have two small quibbles. Number one, there's not much for someone like me, who's reading ahead and wants to get off on the right foot. I know, I know, the title says "Children 2-12" so I'm not taking any stars off for that, but I was still hoping for instructions on how to ease into counting, etc., with a very young child, rather than jumping in to change a discipline strategy that's not working. My second (and only legitimate) quibble is that I think there are better approaches to picky eaters. That's a very small part of the book and it won't be difficult to omit it.
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