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victoriasreads's review against another edition
4.0
it took me a bit of time to get through this, and sometimes the sex was just too much for me, making it even harder to keep reading... but the last hundred pages or so had me captivated, and finishing this left a literal hole in my chest. kind of weirdly ripped my heart up. paul is such a character, and while it wasn't the main focus, any book that has real, personal accounts of the aids crisis just makes me lose it a little bit. the magical interludes are so beautiful too, and i love that the intrigue was maintained throughout. i'll be looking for a long time for a book to make me feel like this again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
katewhite77's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
A Modern Retake On The Fairytale Set In The 1990's.
Our main protagonist Paul/Paulie can slip between genders at will.
Paul/Paulie is one of life's drifters, who works in various bars, both whilst studying and on a brake from university. This book is quite spicy, so if graphic sex scenes aren't your thing, then maybe swerve this one.
This is more of a character driven novel than a plot driven one. That being said, that plot which is, is important in bringing the book together. However, for the most part, it can be read as a series of set pieces to give yourself over to.
A fresh take on the fairytale literary esthetic.
Our main protagonist Paul/Paulie can slip between genders at will.
Paul/Paulie is one of life's drifters, who works in various bars, both whilst studying and on a brake from university. This book is quite spicy, so if graphic sex scenes aren't your thing, then maybe swerve this one.
This is more of a character driven novel than a plot driven one. That being said, that plot which is, is important in bringing the book together. However, for the most part, it can be read as a series of set pieces to give yourself over to.
A fresh take on the fairytale literary esthetic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Death and Grief
silascaptor's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Infidelity, Sexism, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Grief, Lesbophobia, and Alcohol
ailbheclaire's review against another edition
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I’ve never read anything like it. The use of magical realism to play with gender and sexuality is genius. Fun, perverse, honest and brave.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Sexual content
loganmedrano's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
fast-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Death, Drug use, and Gun violence
Minor: Homophobia
avokaitotoast's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Paul Takes The Form of a Mortal Girl - Andrea Lawlor
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
NSFW Content Warning: this book has (a lot of) graphic smut in it. You might already know that, but I always like to make that very clear at the start of my reviews in case that’s not your cup of tea. More details in my Content Warning if you’d like!
How to describe this book to someone asks “What are you reading?”:
A book of snapshots about gender and sexuality in the 90s.
Short Review (TL;DR):
- a wonderful portrayal of how it can feel to be queer; and to feel an otherness even within the community
- hidden gems of literary inspiration
- if you cannot read smut at all this is not for you. if you’re on the fence about it just get through the first chapter. it’s worth it.
Long Review:
“We’re just what we are.”
This book is a gut wrenching showcase of the queer experience. It’s more of a catalogue of Paul’s adventures with sexuality and gender than a plot-based narrative. If you come in looking for a love story or a grande queer redemption in the face of 90s homophobia you will be disappointed.
There are so many thoughts that Paul experiences that I think queer readers will read and think “exactly!”; when he fantasises about being with a woman, he’s also a woman; the imposter syndrome he faces both as Paul and as Polly; his constant confusion about “what he is” and “why is he like this”.
The jump between raunchy encounters and incredibly intellectual discussions about queer culture should have been disjointed, yet Lawlor somehow manages to make the stark contrast work. In a way, it provides depth to Paul’s character: yes, he’s flamboyant and almost stereotypical in the way he appreciates fashion and flirts and loves, but he is filled with a deep confusion, rage, and fear that is constantly being affirmed by the anti-queer climate.
The “interludes” (as I’m choosing to call them; iykyk) were unexpected and brought a more literary approach to the story. They can seem so random and unimportant, but they really give you something to chew on which I found really nice. The fairy (the pun must be intended) tale nature of them lends itself to Paul’s constant dialogue of the inherent otherworldly-ness he feels.
You can tell that queer history and experiences are something incredibly important and deeply studied by Lawlor. The more scholarly exploration can be a bit like reading an essay (which may not be everyone’s favourite), but they add a great deal of intelligence and understanding to Paul.
All in all this is an expressive narrative about the magical but brutal queer experience. It’s truly excellent.
“He could stay here forever, and time would stop, and he wouldn’t have to choose anything.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
How NSFW is this? I was hesitant to pick this up because of the NSFW nature. I don’t mind reading it, but I do feel like authors often hide their lack of technique, theme, or message behind erotica. However, interwoven between Paul’s (frequent) sexcapades are snapshots of what living as a queer person in the 90s was like: fear, rage, confusion, secrecy. The first chapter is incredibly explicit and then it tapers off. Most of the time I find that smut is unnecessary, however, it makes perfect sense in the narrative. It’s not uncommon for people to use promiscuity to mask or protect themselves from both themselves and the world around them. I feel like Lawlor did an excellent job expressing that through Paul. Further notes for those who want more information about the level of explicitly: * content is graphic, but often short * paul does think about sex often and sometimes in problematic ways * chapter 1 is incredibly explicit and Paul is definitely using sex as a coping mechanism and a way to connect with people. this does change! * Paul does revert to his more promiscuous adventures later - it again, aligns with the narrative. It is less graphic and less monopolising than the first chapter.nefariousbee's review
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I can't really figure out what it was all for. all those pages and I don't feel satisfied, I don't feel unsettled. I feel like all the interesting in this book went into the title.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
librarymouse's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
What an odd book. Paul is a strange, yet often lovely character. His hedonism was off putting at first, and I initially had a hard time reconciling my enjoyment of the writing with my dislike of Paul, but the further the novel progressed, the more sympathetic of a character Paul became. Paul's experience of gender and the way Lawlor represents that on the page is something unique and special. It shows the ways in which we try and fail and try again to externally represent our interior experiences of selfhood, but made magical in its visibility. Similarly, Paul's struggles to maintain expression of exclusively male or female features at different points throughout the novel, in order to fulfil the desires of someone else felt so real and exemplary of the struggle between external expression and internal experience when trying to find an aesthetic that feels comfortable as someone who doesn't feel that either gender fits quite right. I think I liked the consistent use of "he" as Paul's pronouns despite his spending a large portion of the novel as a girl. I think it's an interesting comment, again, on the way selfhood is experienced, but also for the idea that gender expression doesn't necessarily equate to gender identity/experience. However, I can understand the critiques of the use of "he" exclusively as falling into the pitfalls of gender essentialism. It's a very narrow line.
Paul being made a more sympathetic character for me, comes to fruition as he finally flashes back to when and why he chose to leave New York for the Midwest after the boy he loved and left; and to whom he always assumed he'd return to at some point, dies of HIV/AIDS before Paul works up the courage to call him back. The slips of memories of the friends and lovers there one day and gone the next, blurry around the edges with grief and the rapidity of their deaths offer an alternative lens through which to view Paul's escape and the risks he's willing to take, thinking he's found a safe place where illness can't take those he cares for. While it's never quite clear whether or not he can get HIV/AIDS, the risks he takes after his love's death take on a nihilistic tone, ready and willing to put himself in danger for the thrill of it. Behind the hedonism, there's such raw and tender humanity.
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Grief, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Biphobia, Body horror, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Dysphoria
sharmaynereads's review against another edition
adventurous
funny
mysterious
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Transphobia, and Dysphoria
kmartro's review against another edition
challenging
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Incredibly hard read for me, it is full of consistent specific music and book references that I, as someone who did not live through the 90's queer scene, did not get at all. I found myself skimming often when it got particularly dense.
I liked reading Paul but didn't like him. I thought the author might do something developmental with him realizing he's too agreeable but he ends the same way he starts.
Even though Paul is a shape-shifter and he moves through queer communities as both sexes, his inner monologue is still that of a gay man, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for the cis-lesbian experience specifically.
The smut was sharp and to the point, it doesn't stay long. Overall glad I read it, but I don't think I'll be rereading it.
I liked reading Paul but didn't like him. I thought the author might do something developmental with him realizing he's too agreeable but he ends the same way he starts.
Even though Paul is a shape-shifter and he moves through queer communities as both sexes, his inner monologue is still that of a gay man, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for the cis-lesbian experience specifically.
The smut was sharp and to the point, it doesn't stay long. Overall glad I read it, but I don't think I'll be rereading it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use and Sexual content
Moderate: Alcoholism and Dysphoria
Minor: Death, Vomit, Stalking, Outing, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic