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Reviews tagging 'Homophobia'
Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Things I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers by Dylan Marron
10 reviews
shereadytoread's review against another edition
3.5
I enjoyed this book, but I did feel like it lacked direction a bit. To be fair, the author himself recognizes uncertainty in writing the book and in the direction that his “social experiment” took. While I think the author’s cause is very noble and he was seeking to do (and in many ways did) a wonderful thing, the other struggles a bit to reckon with the potential and actual harm that some of his guests faced. He does own up to making poor decisions and is very reflective in the ways that he has at times perpetuated the same concepts that he is now fighting against. I wanted to see a bit more care given to the effects on the guests themselves and further work in preventing that same potential harm in the future.
Overall, I think this book has a lot of wonderful things to say and points to make about how we engage in community with those with whom we fundamentally disagree. As we live in an increasingly polarized world, it becomes impossible to fully avoid or cut off anyone that disagrees with us, even if they are actively harming us or other members of our community, they are still a part of that community. It asks a lot of questions about how we balance justice, safety and the need to move forward.
This author never claims to be a professional organizer, therapist or advocate, which is at times a strength and at times a weakness for the book. It approaches the concepts but doesn’t have the real language to fully explore them or offer many tangible paths forward on the larger questions; but it does offer some small approachable steps when dealing with strangers.
I received a free printed copy from the publisher. No review was required and all thoughts are my own.
Overall, I think this book has a lot of wonderful things to say and points to make about how we engage in community with those with whom we fundamentally disagree. As we live in an increasingly polarized world, it becomes impossible to fully avoid or cut off anyone that disagrees with us, even if they are actively harming us or other members of our community, they are still a part of that community. It asks a lot of questions about how we balance justice, safety and the need to move forward.
This author never claims to be a professional organizer, therapist or advocate, which is at times a strength and at times a weakness for the book. It approaches the concepts but doesn’t have the real language to fully explore them or offer many tangible paths forward on the larger questions; but it does offer some small approachable steps when dealing with strangers.
I received a free printed copy from the publisher. No review was required and all thoughts are my own.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Sexism, and Sexual assault
Minor: Violence
theolivetree's review against another edition
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Racism, and Transphobia
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
caljmarr's review against another edition
informative
reflective
slow-paced
3.25
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Homophobia, and Sexual assault
mayday_the_cleric's review against another edition
The premise of this book is highly intriguing. In this memoir, Dylan Marron, a popular online figure, confronts the people who've sent him hate massages and tries to have an open dialogue with them about important, yet contentious societal problems as a way to educate them on these topics. However, even with such an exciting concept, the only thing I kept thinking to myself while reading this is: Why do I feel so bored by this?
Firstly, I can see how this book can be eye-opening for some other people, but it doesn't really say anything groundbreaking or profound for me. A mere reiteration of the same talking points and sentiments that have already been shared by many other online influencers. The writing is also kinda bland and verbose as the author says a lot of things, but he doesn’t really offer anything substantial or noteworthy. Ironically enough, even though everything was happening in real time, there’s an overreliance on ‘telling, instead of showing’ in this book which kinda jarred the readers out of the immersion and took the winds out of the sails of the story. Overall, this book could’ve had a lot of potential, but it’s still held back by a few elements for me.
Firstly, I can see how this book can be eye-opening for some other people, but it doesn't really say anything groundbreaking or profound for me. A mere reiteration of the same talking points and sentiments that have already been shared by many other online influencers. The writing is also kinda bland and verbose as the author says a lot of things, but he doesn’t really offer anything substantial or noteworthy. Ironically enough, even though everything was happening in real time, there’s an overreliance on ‘telling, instead of showing’ in this book which kinda jarred the readers out of the immersion and took the winds out of the sails of the story. Overall, this book could’ve had a lot of potential, but it’s still held back by a few elements for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Religious bigotry, and Gaslighting
felicia923's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia and Sexual assault
Minor: Violence
madradstarchild's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia and Racism
sbsreads's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Ableism, Sexual assault, and Violence
jazhandz's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Rape
chaotic_reading's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
“This book tells the story of a social experiment I began a few years ago, the events that precipitated it, the mistakes I’ve made along the way, and the twelve lessons I learned throughout the process. […] You are welcome to read this book as a guide on how to navigate difficult conversations of your own, or as a distant story that happened to someone once. Take what serves you and leave what doesn’t.”
Dylan Marron, author of Conversation with People Who Hate Me, has written an incredible book full of anecdotes, thought progressions, and imagery that perfectly summarize the experience that is the internet. The way the author shares these stories of self-realization and the conversation they have with people who "hate" them are engaging and personable, weaving a narrative that takes you right to the door of the point.
At times, the conversation topics were tough to read and digest, especially about ingrained doctrine that is inevitably harmful to marginalized communities. Content warning for: homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and violence. Without minimalizing the extreme harm that these beliefs can have on marginalized communities, it felt like a small crack of light was let through with some of the interactions because Marron was open to having a "civil" conversation and broke down talking points to teaching moments, objectivity in mind. (One might whittle it down to their "faith in humanity being restored".) This kind of emotional and educational undertaking is in no way a small feat, nor should it be on the shoulders of the marginalized community to be the sole bearers of this kind of labour. Reading this collection by Marron only continued to solidify the idea that these conversations are important to be having, however everyone needs to be having them, not just those who are directly affected by the harmful beliefs.
I think this book is a good resource for personal growth in that it gives readers the equation for starting to have those difficult conversations, and I will be recommending it to my friends and family.
Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing me with an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
Dylan Marron, author of Conversation with People Who Hate Me, has written an incredible book full of anecdotes, thought progressions, and imagery that perfectly summarize the experience that is the internet. The way the author shares these stories of self-realization and the conversation they have with people who "hate" them are engaging and personable, weaving a narrative that takes you right to the door of the point.
At times, the conversation topics were tough to read and digest, especially about ingrained doctrine that is inevitably harmful to marginalized communities. Content warning for: homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and violence. Without minimalizing the extreme harm that these beliefs can have on marginalized communities, it felt like a small crack of light was let through with some of the interactions because Marron was open to having a "civil" conversation and broke down talking points to teaching moments, objectivity in mind. (One might whittle it down to their "faith in humanity being restored".) This kind of emotional and educational undertaking is in no way a small feat, nor should it be on the shoulders of the marginalized community to be the sole bearers of this kind of labour. Reading this collection by Marron only continued to solidify the idea that these conversations are important to be having, however everyone needs to be having them, not just those who are directly affected by the harmful beliefs.
I think this book is a good resource for personal growth in that it gives readers the equation for starting to have those difficult conversations, and I will be recommending it to my friends and family.
Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing me with an ARC of this book in return for an honest review.
Content Warnings
Minor: Homophobia, Racism, Violence, and Xenophobia
kasey_reads's review against another edition
funny
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
5.0
Wow. Wow wow wow. This book is incredible. I finished this book last night, and I already can't wait to re-read it when it's published.
I was a regular listener of Dylan Marron's podcast, and as soon as I saw this book was excited to scoop it up. Dylan provides the readers an inside look at his thoughts as a citizen of the Neighborhood of the Internet. While writing this book he is open, vulnerable, and best of all, incredibly self-aware. He lays bare the struggles and questions he's had through his entire process. He asks himself the same kind of questions I think many of us have struggled with during this increasingly divisive era of the internet. Then, Dylan does something even more incredible and turns these questions and struggles into lessons. Lessons we all need. He explores what it means to have empathy, what makes a great conversation, and best practices for engaging with our detractors.
Anyone who spends time on the internet should read this book. This book will provide guideposts for how to be a better citizen of the Neighborhood of the Internet, and how to be a better person offline.
Thanks to Netgalley for an advanced copy of this book!!
I was a regular listener of Dylan Marron's podcast, and as soon as I saw this book was excited to scoop it up. Dylan provides the readers an inside look at his thoughts as a citizen of the Neighborhood of the Internet. While writing this book he is open, vulnerable, and best of all, incredibly self-aware. He lays bare the struggles and questions he's had through his entire process. He asks himself the same kind of questions I think many of us have struggled with during this increasingly divisive era of the internet. Then, Dylan does something even more incredible and turns these questions and struggles into lessons. Lessons we all need. He explores what it means to have empathy, what makes a great conversation, and best practices for engaging with our detractors.
Anyone who spends time on the internet should read this book. This book will provide guideposts for how to be a better citizen of the Neighborhood of the Internet, and how to be a better person offline.
Thanks to Netgalley for an advanced copy of this book!!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Sexual assault and Violence