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jennicajackson's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
11rose25's review against another edition
slow-paced
2.0
I listened on audio, and while I like the narrator (Therese Plummer) I absolutely hate how she does voices for quotations. Seems out of place in a nonfiction book.
josineh's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
emleemay's review against another edition
2.0
2½ stars.
When I first saw the main title of this book - those two words "Fed Up" - before I even knew what the book was about, I thought of my mum. I pictured her juggling the wants and needs of three kids after a day of work, arms full of laundry that she would load into the machine in between making us dinner. I remembered distinctly the way she sometimes would find a rare moment to sit down and say with a tired sigh: "I'm fed up."
[b: Fed Up|7751805|Fed Up|Sierra Cartwright|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1355975135s/7751805.jpg|10595016] is for a more modern woman than my mother. My mum worked full time, did most of the household chores, and took on an immense emotional burden as well. This book is talking to the women who have achieved what seems like a decent level of equality with their husbands or male partners, but still bear a disproportionate amount of the emotional burden.
It is really important to factor in emotional labor when considering equality. I'm glad we're beginning to discuss it. Hartley shares how her husband seems happy to do household chores, but it remains her responsibility to manage and delegate tasks. "Why didn't you just ask me to do that?" He might ask, instead of recognizing it as something that needs to be done and using his own initiative. She is responsible for organizing parties and holidays, getting gifts for both of their families, and she must constantly remind him to call his mother.
It may sound like nitpicking, but it is emotionally draining to always be responsible for what everyone else is doing. It is also emotionally draining to feel responsible for defusing every argument, and to feel like it is probably just easier to do a task yourself than to deal with the trouble of delegating it.
However, I think the major problem with the book is that it is presented as a study of emotional labor, but is actually a memoir of Hartley's personal experiences with her husband and kids. She carries out very few interviews with other women, returning again and again to her own anecdotes. I would have liked to see her do more research; reach out to more women who are not white and middle class. Her few attempts to touch upon other kinds of experiences seem to get buried under the repetitive descriptions of her own life.
Emotional labor is a topic that could speak to many women, but I think only a small group will see themselves in this book. I personally don't.
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When I first saw the main title of this book - those two words "Fed Up" - before I even knew what the book was about, I thought of my mum. I pictured her juggling the wants and needs of three kids after a day of work, arms full of laundry that she would load into the machine in between making us dinner. I remembered distinctly the way she sometimes would find a rare moment to sit down and say with a tired sigh: "I'm fed up."
[b: Fed Up|7751805|Fed Up|Sierra Cartwright|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1355975135s/7751805.jpg|10595016] is for a more modern woman than my mother. My mum worked full time, did most of the household chores, and took on an immense emotional burden as well. This book is talking to the women who have achieved what seems like a decent level of equality with their husbands or male partners, but still bear a disproportionate amount of the emotional burden.
It is really important to factor in emotional labor when considering equality. I'm glad we're beginning to discuss it. Hartley shares how her husband seems happy to do household chores, but it remains her responsibility to manage and delegate tasks. "Why didn't you just ask me to do that?" He might ask, instead of recognizing it as something that needs to be done and using his own initiative. She is responsible for organizing parties and holidays, getting gifts for both of their families, and she must constantly remind him to call his mother.
It may sound like nitpicking, but it is emotionally draining to always be responsible for what everyone else is doing. It is also emotionally draining to feel responsible for defusing every argument, and to feel like it is probably just easier to do a task yourself than to deal with the trouble of delegating it.
However, I think the major problem with the book is that it is presented as a study of emotional labor, but is actually a memoir of Hartley's personal experiences with her husband and kids. She carries out very few interviews with other women, returning again and again to her own anecdotes. I would have liked to see her do more research; reach out to more women who are not white and middle class. Her few attempts to touch upon other kinds of experiences seem to get buried under the repetitive descriptions of her own life.
Emotional labor is a topic that could speak to many women, but I think only a small group will see themselves in this book. I personally don't.
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addicted2booksstefania's review against another edition
3.0
Physical TBR read! Here’s the deal, it was emotional labour to read this book. I think the book presented some great and important topics, especially for people with no prior knowledge on the topic, but man was it a pain to read by the end. If you’re curious, I have 3 main issues:
1. Most annoying of the 3 issues - it is EXTREMELY repetitive. For someone who claims to be a writer, this could have been 200 pages shorter and gotten the point across in a clearer way. There was no need for a full fledged book to repeat what you said 1000 times.
2. What was the method of presentation? This book wanted to come off as non-fiction, analytical, all that. However, it gave absolutely no data! There were some interviews with women and blanket statements, Give me some proper data outside of other magazine articles, because frankly this turned into a memoir of Hartley’s experiences with her husband and kids.
3. My biggest gripe. Emotional labour is an important topic, and I absolutely agree it needs to be talked about and appreciated. That being said, I have a real problem with the way Hartley let men off the hook and almost said it was the fault of women/ society for placing these expectations on men. Give me a fucking break. Do not write a book about emotional labour and then discretely blame women for how men turn out. Some people are a joke with no life skills, so do not give me this bs that it’s a woman’s job to fix it now. I’m getting angry just hashing this out again.
Let me say this for anyone reading, especially any women: you do not need to stay with someone who is abusive, childish, incapable of being a functioning adult, or someone who has no emotional bandwidth. There is no obligation to.
1. Most annoying of the 3 issues - it is EXTREMELY repetitive. For someone who claims to be a writer, this could have been 200 pages shorter and gotten the point across in a clearer way. There was no need for a full fledged book to repeat what you said 1000 times.
2. What was the method of presentation? This book wanted to come off as non-fiction, analytical, all that. However, it gave absolutely no data! There were some interviews with women and blanket statements, Give me some proper data outside of other magazine articles, because frankly this turned into a memoir of Hartley’s experiences with her husband and kids.
3. My biggest gripe. Emotional labour is an important topic, and I absolutely agree it needs to be talked about and appreciated. That being said, I have a real problem with the way Hartley let men off the hook and almost said it was the fault of women/ society for placing these expectations on men. Give me a fucking break. Do not write a book about emotional labour and then discretely blame women for how men turn out. Some people are a joke with no life skills, so do not give me this bs that it’s a woman’s job to fix it now. I’m getting angry just hashing this out again.
Let me say this for anyone reading, especially any women: you do not need to stay with someone who is abusive, childish, incapable of being a functioning adult, or someone who has no emotional bandwidth. There is no obligation to.
ga_hah_stwi's review against another edition
I just didn't enjoy this as much as I thought that I would. Maybe if it wasn't the audiobook version?