Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Una vita come tante by Hanya Yanagihara

1809 reviews

toriyaki's review against another edition

The depth of the characters was lost in the author’s want to make it a “deep” exploration of trauma. It lacks the necessary understanding of human experience and is truly “fiction”. Not a deep emotional tale or another subplot or narrative. Just plan cartoonish nonsense that disguises itself as a trauma novel. Would be better written if it was a scientific thesis on trauma instead of a failed attempt to be deep. Author uses “telling” instead of “showing” brings this disconnect and basically the author telling the reader to “feel” what’s being told. But it doesn’t work like that- emotional pull isn’t there since there is no character development in the abusers besides the author telling us that they are abusers. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, and Toxic friendship

Moderate: Addiction, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, and Car accident

freysiercrane's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I’m such a hater of this book (but someone needs to be!!!) IMO it’s just trauma porn.
I’m not at all squeamish about the issues it addresses. I just don’t think you need to compile ALL forms of abuse/trauma into one character to address them. Everything was so unrealistic - how wonderful and perfect Willem is, how magnificent all their careers were, how unbelievably terrible Jude’s suffering is - that I don’t think it’s a meaningful take on the human experience at all. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Suicide attempt

julesheegs's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Trafficking, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, and Dysphoria

wheelylauren's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Blood, Police brutality, Medical content, Trafficking, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

greads2's review against another edition

dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

This was an amazingly written book and explores important but very difficult topics. This book was a extremely difficult to read and was emotionally draining. For these reasons I would not exactly say it is a book I recommend. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Suicide attempt, and Injury/Injury detail

vulcajes's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

Oh my god do not read this book. It is 700 pages of shitty trauma porn and I hated every second. Jude isn't a likeable character (pity ≠ liked), Willem sucks, and I WISH Malcolm and J.B. had more time to shine. Malcolm is entirely ignored for the plot to revolve solely around Jude's continuous trauma and J.B. only comes up to traumatise Jude more. It's good to write about complex traumatic experiences but holy shit the entire book is just one trauma after the other. The whole moral of the story is that some people should just kill themselves after EVERYTHING Jude's adoptive parents did for him. Justice for J.B. and Malcolm, we never got a satisfying story for them, let alone an ending. Fuck this book royally.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Xenophobia, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

tellatrix's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 

𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚

Disclaimer: Please note that this review may contain spoilers. Reader discretion is advised.

I just finished the book, and my vision is still a bit blurry from crying. Please excuse any errors in spelling.

This book taught me so much about life and made me realize how fortunate and ungrateful I can be at times. My problems seem so minor compared to what others endure. But then I think about Jude, who tried to convince himself that his past experiences weren’t that bad, that he deserved what happened to him. How could anyone, any human being, go through such trauma and believe they deserved it?

It was heartbreaking to see Jude blame himself. He trusted Brother Luke and went with him, thinking he cared. At that age, after everything he'd been through, wasn't it natural to cling to someone who seemed to care? Someone who saw him as a human being, not an object for gratification?

I loved the book's portrayal of each character. By the end, I felt like I knew them all, as if we were friends. I appreciated the development of each character, and I particularly enjoyed Harold, Andy, and Richard. I found them even more compelling than JB and Malcolm.

However, while the book was deeply moving, some parts felt repetitive. I understand the author's intent to portray Jude's cyclical existence, but it sometimes felt like there was little respite. I found myself feeling trapped and unable to continue reading, dreading what might happen next.

I was also disappointed by the deaths of Willem, Malcolm, and Sophia. These felt unnecessary and forced, particularly Willem's death in a car accident. It would have been more impactful if he had died of natural causes.

Despite these minor criticisms, my favorite quote from the book perfectly encapsulates its themes:

"And so I try to be kind to everything I see, and in everything I see, I see him." 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, and Sexual harassment

maiaiaia's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, and Suicide attempt

candoreads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.25

If I could give this book zero stars, I would. I want to preface this review by saying it is going to be LITTERED with spoilers. I'll try to mark them, but you don't want to read this review if you don't want the book spoiled for you, but I'll tell you when we get there. The writing in this book is pretentious. It's preachy, and goes in circles, and circles, and circles, and circles, for 800 pages. For 800 pages this book says the same thing over and over and over again. Using the same metaphor and the same flowery language to make it seem smarter and more interesting. The spoilers start now. The characters in this book are terrible, and I am about to say things that are going to make me sound like a horrible, unempathetic, uncaring, and hateful person. Jude is the worst character in this book. He is a bad friend and a bad person. Yes, he has had HORRIBLE things happen to him and that is terrible. But your trauma is not an excuse for how you treat your friends. Jude pushed his friends away, and held them at arm's length all because he thought so horribly and hatefully of himself. He expected everyone who cared about him to leave and tried to push them into leaving, but then if they did leave, then they were only proving him right in that he was worthless. Jude needed immense amount of therapy and the fact that he refused to seek help and to try to live his life and get better makes him a bad person. You trauma can explain how and why you act but it is not an excuse for how and why you act. When you realize that your trauma is affecting your relationships, or you have someone point it out to you, then it is your responsibility as a functioning adult in society to do what you need to get better. Go to a Buddhist camp, seek therapy, move to a nudist colony, go backpacking through the mountains, touch grass, I literally don't care what it is, but you have to do it. Jude had every person in his corner, loving friends, a SOULMATE (because that's what he and Willem were), parents who loved him, a doctor/friend who cared for him IMMENSELY, and he threw it away. He wasted his life hating himself and full of regret. And you know what? Maybe I am a bad person, but karma came for him. He tried to kill himself and thought that it would make everyone's life better and karma showed him that having someone you love with your entire being die and leave you is the worst thing imaginable. I have never hated a book or a character as much as I loathe this one. I only finished this book because I don't DNF books and because I have a rule that you can only review a book if you've finished it, because what if the books gets better and you gave up? THIS BOOK DOES NOT DO THAT! I am angry writing this review, angry that I read 800 pages of a man throwing a pity party for his entire life JUST FOR HIM TO KILL HIMSELF IN THE END ANYWAY. This book is going on my bookshelf, because to donate it or give it to anyone else is a punishment I would not wish on my worst enemy.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, and Suicide attempt

hjb_128's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Biphobia, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail