Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Una vita come tante by Hanya Yanagihara

372 reviews

fran_____'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

iluvshelby's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

pikkumarja's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Loveable characters? Yes

4.0

Tunnen ristiriitaisesti tästä kirjasta. Proosa Pienessä elämässä on kaunista. Se on yksityiskohdissaan pyörteilevää ja jotenkin kiusallisen tarkkanäköistä. Tunsin oloni epämukavaksi, koska halusin jatkaa lukemista, vaikka se tuntui tirkistelyltä. Rakastin ihmissuhteiden kuvauksia ja erityisesti Willemiä ja Juliaa. Näiden asioiden takia matalampi arvosana ei tunnu oikeutetulta, mutta on sanottava, että jo aloittaessani lukemista olin kriittisenä liikenteessä.

Mutta onhan tämä vähän liikaa. Yksityiskohtaiset kuvaukset itsetuhoisuudesta, tuhon graafisuus ja ylipäätään queerihmisten kärsimys oli turhan mittavaa. Yksittäisenä kirjana queerkärsimys vielä menisi, mutta laajempana ilmiönä (ja koska tämäkin kirja on osa laajempaa kirjallisuuden kokonaisuutta ja kulttuuria) queerit saavat kärsiä liikaa. Ei tämä silti ole ansainnut syytöksiä traumapornosta tai epäuskottavalla trauman määrällä. Maailma ei ole reilu ja jotkut ihmiset joutuvat kärsimään enemmän kuin on inhimillisesti mahdollista. Kehotan todella lukemaan sisältövaroitukset ajan kanssa, jos et kestä joitain teemoja.

Yanagihara onnistuu luomaan todella painavan tunnelman kerronnallaan. Kirja jää varmasti elämään mielen perukoille pitkäksi aikaa monestakin syystä.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Gore, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Stalking, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

vin_eeta_3's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

honeyjackets's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

It surprisingly got me through a hard time in my life, where I was trying to find myself. It got me into reading again.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

emilyg433's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

selimhannah's review against another edition

dark emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Bullying, Drug use, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Stalking, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Alcohol

fenny94's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

One of my favourite books of all time. Would caution others to only start this when you are in a healthy place emotionally and psychologically because of the seriousness of the subject material.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Car accident, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

xiaoban's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Did I like this book? Yes. 
Would I recommend it? Never. 

All of the reviews that preceded this one insinuated so much pain and sorrow and even though I prepared myself, this one still managed to DESTROY me. This was the first book I have finished in a few months and it was undoubtedly the saddest book I have ever come across. Outside of the insane (and excessive) trauma and triggers, this one of the most comprehensive novels about loneliness, friendship, and chosen family that one can read in a lifetime. 

It is undeniably gripping from the first chapter to the last chapter. The first hundredish pages gives such a solid introduction to four main characters that you become invested in each of their lives, rooting for them individually and dying to know more about their history/dynamic as a group. What starts out as a genuine love for each character quickly morphs into a sick, anxiety about the painful truths of their friendships and lives

The first time they said the phrase "A Little Life" I was like "oh lol they did the thing!" And then second time they said it the context made me physically recoil so violently I needed a shower 

Surprisingly, I found myself really enjoying the overall lack of plot and dialogue throughout the book. If we are being honest, I will probably never give this book a reread. 

Although this book has left a physical ache in my chest, I have an great appreciation for the author’s ability to write complex characters and  present a realistic portrayal of the effects heavy trauma can have on an individual. 

TLDR: Hanya Yanagihara made me very sad 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, and Injury/Injury detail

ka_cam's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book is a lot. Strongly encourage reviewing content warnings. Well written and at times moving exploration of the impacts of trauma and love, especially friendship and chosen family, through the years. However many parts of the story felt excessive and flat-

The trauma Jude experienced was… gratuitous and frankly unrealistic. It felt like the author wanted a childhood as horrific as possible set 100 years before the young adulthood- what Catholic monastery (not orphanage or school) would be allowed by superiors and the state to raise a child? What child would, multiple times, be taken to many doctors and later attend public school with clear, visible, severe injuries known to be due to ‘breaking the rules’ and not encounter state intervention, however ineffective, at any point? Would a child in state care with a history of sex trafficking and abuse not be assigned a social worker or monitored for continued sexual abuse in any way? Never forced to sit through group or individual therapy, however ineffective? Just cut loose from foster care well before their 18th birthday without an emancipation or other process to attend college out of state? It just got harder and harder to believe and it took me out of the story a lot. Likewise while the love and devotion of his adult friends, doctor, and adoptive parents was heartwarming it was sometimes pure to the point of flatness, only Willem really reacted to J’s serious mental health issues with mental health issues of his own/poor reactions. They at times read like martyrs to the concept of healing trauma more than full characters

 All to say, the character development and research into the systems (Catholic, social service, medical, etc) involved felt lacking to a distracting degree. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Cancer, Drug abuse, and Death of parent

Minor: Dementia