Reviews tagging 'Self harm'

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

64 reviews

madinotmaddie's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

my dark vanessa tells the story of an inappropriate affair a high school student has with her English teacher and the impact it has on her youth, her promising future, and her mental well-being. 

this was an absolutely brilliant piece of storytelling but so hard to get through. the sheer amount of disgust i felt every time the main character would refer to Lolita as an idolizing figure, i just wanted to reach through the book and shake her a bit. but i remembered that justifying abuse is a trauma response and it encouraged more thought provoking understanding and sympathy for the decisions made by vanessa and other victims who’ve experienced grooming and abuse in a classroom. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Pedophilia, Self harm, and Sexual content

cedence's review against another edition

challenging dark sad tense slow-paced

4.0

This book got me bad. I'ts been a month since I read it, and I still don't know how to review it. It was dark and it was decending into that darkness for the majority of the book. Yet, it tells such an important tale following a young girl being groomed and sexually assaulted by a teacher - at school, but also how it stays with her and deeply ingrains itself in her life and everything she consider herself to be during adulthood. It offered a lot of insight into the manipulation, misbeliefs, and just naivete of young age that led to what happened when the adult in place misuses their power, and others choose to look away. As well, having to recon with what happened to you that you don't want to face for what it was - and that the timetable for that doesn't necessarily match media (this one specifically deals with the rise of #MeToo). 

I was surprised from the first page of this book because I expected the mc to no longer be in contact with her teacher. But it set the tone, and I found myself wishing this book turned toward something better each time it took a worse turn.

Those were my messy thoughts for now.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, and Gaslighting

schellymelly's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Mental illness, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Animal death, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Mass/school shootings, and Death of parent

mxstanton's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Self harm, Suicide, and Gaslighting

allidone's review against another edition

slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I've seen a lot of places have this listed as a "dark romance" and that is definitely NOT what this is.  It's not romantic. It's heartwrenching and sickening and devastating.  There is no actual love in these pages.  There's nothing redeeming in the 'love story' told because it's between a 42 year old man and a 15 year old girl that continues until she is 22 years old (and he's 49) and the havoc that has wreacked on her life up until she's a 32 adult woman (and he's 59) and he's suddenly being called out for his pedophilia.  This is a man that groomed a 15 year old child by touching her in class and giving her a copy of Lolita to read like a manual. 
Most of this novel is the adult woman looking back on what happened to her and trying to reframe it in her mind.  Most of what I read made me feel physically ill.  My stomach hurt and I had to take frequent breaks from the book while also wanting to 'get it over with'.  It's a beautifully written novel that takes a real look at all those "age gap" tropes and the ongoing fantasy that having an affair with a teacher is in anyway sexy.  This takes a look at what that power imbalance, what that breaking of a young soul actually does to a person.
Vanessa isn't a loveable victim.  In fact, she insists through most of the novel that she's not a victim at all.  She wanted it and it was love and she knew what she was doing and he wasn't a monster.  All things to cope with what actually happened to her and what kept happening to her all through her youth.  The gaslighting and grooming that took place, the fact that while he initiated it all he turned it around and placed it on her.  The fact that he was always covering his bases, telling coworkers she had a crush and it might end up being a problem.  She coped the only way she knew how and that was to reclaim some of the agency she lost to him. Each sexual encounter reads as a loss of agency, that she didn't want to take all those steps but the secondary coping mechanism of continuing with it creates a sort of retroactive consent.  It doesn't.
It's incredibly triggering as a woman and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone that has any experience of losing their agency, with rape or with assault.  This novel, while beautifully written, created a physical response that I battled throught the novel.  Ultimately I am glad I finished it, but it was a struggle and there were many moments that I considered DNFing the book entirely.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, Stalking, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Bullying, Self harm, Death of parent, and Abandonment

Minor: Animal death

heathernependa's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I am thoroughly disturbed.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Sexual harassment

flapjackzs_'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Child abuse, Pedophilia, and Suicide

Minor: Drug use, Eating disorder, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Alcohol

rchulin1's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Such an amazing book very dark not for the faint of heart. So many triggers be mindful of them before reading but nonetheless my favorite book as of now.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Stalking, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

oeczone's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

cjgmiranda220's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Rape, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Gaslighting