aakritisharma's review
emotional
informative
reflective
4.25
Reasonably concise and informative. I enjoy the author's matter-of-fact writing style, and the nuance she brings to complex topics.
sjj169's review against another edition
3.0
I picked this up hoping to get some answers for my marriage. It did help. One day at a time
kr1stintin's review
3.0
A lot of heteronormative language and dated references/resources. That said - the questions posed are insightful to assessing your innermost curiosities about how you feel about your relationship(s).
sophiathelemurlover's review
3.0
My biggest take away was learning what love is. As cliche as it is, it’s not something I could definitively articulate. But Kirchenbaum laid the foundations for me.
That is, love is a feeling based on reality. The problem arises when people are ambivalent about their relationship. Should I stay or should I go? One another reason people struggle with their decision is that they still love their partner. And that’s where emotions take over.
While you may have fallen in love with you partner when you first started dating, that is most likely because in reality, they were loving, respectful, had similar values and goals, etc. Your feelings of love were based on real gestures and acts of love.
However, over time, your partner may have grown too comfortable, showed their true colours, stopped showing you how much they love you. Loving them now does not make sense. You are in love with how they were in the past not the present. Your love for them is a feeling based on your perceived reality, which is giving you a false sense of love.
That is, love is a feeling based on reality. The problem arises when people are ambivalent about their relationship. Should I stay or should I go? One another reason people struggle with their decision is that they still love their partner. And that’s where emotions take over.
While you may have fallen in love with you partner when you first started dating, that is most likely because in reality, they were loving, respectful, had similar values and goals, etc. Your feelings of love were based on real gestures and acts of love.
However, over time, your partner may have grown too comfortable, showed their true colours, stopped showing you how much they love you. Loving them now does not make sense. You are in love with how they were in the past not the present. Your love for them is a feeling based on your perceived reality, which is giving you a false sense of love.
shivanis's review
5.0
I loved how straight-forward this book is! The author makes a point to write this book like a guide, helping you “diagnose” your relationship. I think this could be incredibly helpful for people both in and out of relationships. It highlighted a lot of small things I had previously never thought about. Highly recommend!!!
saydenie's review
5.0
This was an incredibly helpful book. Even though my romantic relationship ended when I was about halfway through, I'm glad I read the rest of the book. I think this information can be useful for any type of relationship, even family or friendships.