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halfmanhalfbook's review
2.0
The ability of people to just get along straight away is one of those things that is a mystery that has fascinated psychologists and sociologists for years. Recent research has started to uncover the details behind those moments when we form a lifelong connection to another person. They tell their story through a series on anecdotes and examples and looks at ‘accelerators’ that will enhance these click moments. The seven accelerators are vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, environment, naturals and personal elevation. These factor strongly influence the way that people and teams with get along. One example that they gave was with a basketball team that generally failed to qualify for the NBA, but over a couple of seasons they had four players who ‘clicked’ and made the team much better than normal, even reaching the point of qualifying, but after they went their separate ways they never really achieved as much.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.
jessroberts184's review against another edition
4.0
Really liked how it broke down how we click into easy to understand categories. Some of the stories were boring though. 9/10
fcdiamond's review against another edition
2.0
This would have been better written as an article or white paper. It had a lot of fluff and filler and at the end I was kind of like, Ok was any of that new information?
andreahrome's review against another edition
4.0
Really interesting information! Easy to read... perhaps could've gone more in-depth, and there was an overreliance on psych studies that fooled the participants- which rarely ever works (I say this from personal experience- psychologists are not good actors and it's pretty easy to see through a planted person in a study). Despite these things a very interesting and worthwhile read. Definitely not a how-to book.
kimball_hansen's review against another edition
4.0
Loved this book. It could have been longer, it was only 5 ish hours. The principles in this book should be taught in schools, businesses, relationship courses, etc. I've been talking about some of these principles in here for decades now. Such as, "Shared adversity brings people together." I learned that from [b:Angels & Demons|960|Angels & Demons (Robert Langdon, #1)|Dan Brown|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1639587647l/960._SY75_.jpg|3338963].
Or
"There is tremendous power in casual, spontaneous interaction and seeing each other frequently." This can also be described as the Distance Decay Method. I learned that in my Human Geography course at Mesa Community College. No wonder some of my situational friends don't talk to me anymore (mission, college, previous jobs). It creates a social glue and conflict is less likely to arise. Familiarity breeds regard, not contempt. I hate situational friends like that loser Jamie Pyne from college.
Notes:
Clicking can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or the world around us. It usually takes weeks or months to connect with a person. It's not always romantic love.
Clicking brings about a unique almost euphoric state, one that is almost magical. It permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. And finally, it can serve to elevate our own personal abilities.
Euphoric, energizing, thrilling, special. These are feelings of click.
The experience of clicking can remain a permanent part of the relationship. You are in your own world.
Whatever couples lack in commonality, they make up for it in mutual passion.
When we get queues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return. Yep, yep, yep.
Vulnerability and self disclosure obtain an instant connection with another. They accelerate your ability to connect with those around you. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you. They will usually be open and vulnerable, too. I hate people that are closed off and don't open up. Be vulnerable dang it! And I hate Brene Brown, too. You didn't invent that word, vulnerable, even though everyone associates it with you now.
5 levels of vulnerable:
(Thought oriented)
Social niceties
↓
Factual
↓
Evaluative
(Emotional-connected statements)
↓
Gut level statements
↓
Peak statements
Even "computers" (when programmed so) can open up and people will open up to them.
Clinton helped win the election because he opened up about his past. That and his "I feel your pain."
Self disclosing establishes instant intimacy. When done at the right time and with the right person, can transform a relationship and you can trust the other person, wanting to get to know them on a deeper, meaningful level.
You're 30x more likely to laugh a joke when you're with others than when you were alone.
It's not necessarily what you agree on but rather the extent of your agreement.
Well that's too bad that the Kelly Hildebrandt couple got divorced. I really liked that story. They were the couple where the girl searched on bookface her exact name to see if there was anyone else out there. She found a guy around her age and messaged him and they eventually got married. But now I spoiled it for you. Google their name.
You can bond closer with someone by talking about your worst day rather than your best day.
Interactions in which we click, don't just affect the strength of our relationship with the other person, they bring out the best in us. The authors could have done a better job of expounding on how Clicking can bring out the best in us. They repeated it again in their last sentence of the book, yet I still don't know how it does, just that it does.
I think.
2nd Read Update: 4 stars still
Dang, I had read this already without realizing it! How could that be??
Wished he would have said what happened when the comedy guy, Welch, started off his skit with the terrible introduction by the MC.
His example of the two Kelly's clicking and getting married later ended up getting divorced.
The concept of shared adversity brings people together like no other. Hence, the rise of suicide and depression in cushy 1st world countries.
Or
"There is tremendous power in casual, spontaneous interaction and seeing each other frequently." This can also be described as the Distance Decay Method. I learned that in my Human Geography course at Mesa Community College. No wonder some of my situational friends don't talk to me anymore (mission, college, previous jobs). It creates a social glue and conflict is less likely to arise. Familiarity breeds regard, not contempt. I hate situational friends like that loser Jamie Pyne from college.
Notes:
Clicking can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or the world around us. It usually takes weeks or months to connect with a person. It's not always romantic love.
Clicking brings about a unique almost euphoric state, one that is almost magical. It permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. And finally, it can serve to elevate our own personal abilities.
Euphoric, energizing, thrilling, special. These are feelings of click.
The experience of clicking can remain a permanent part of the relationship. You are in your own world.
Whatever couples lack in commonality, they make up for it in mutual passion.
When we get queues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return. Yep, yep, yep.
Vulnerability and self disclosure obtain an instant connection with another. They accelerate your ability to connect with those around you. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you. They will usually be open and vulnerable, too. I hate people that are closed off and don't open up. Be vulnerable dang it! And I hate Brene Brown, too. You didn't invent that word, vulnerable, even though everyone associates it with you now.
5 levels of vulnerable:
(Thought oriented)
Social niceties
↓
Factual
↓
Evaluative
(Emotional-connected statements)
↓
Gut level statements
↓
Peak statements
Even "computers" (when programmed so) can open up and people will open up to them.
Clinton helped win the election because he opened up about his past. That and his "I feel your pain."
Self disclosing establishes instant intimacy. When done at the right time and with the right person, can transform a relationship and you can trust the other person, wanting to get to know them on a deeper, meaningful level.
You're 30x more likely to laugh a joke when you're with others than when you were alone.
It's not necessarily what you agree on but rather the extent of your agreement.
Well that's too bad that the Kelly Hildebrandt couple got divorced. I really liked that story. They were the couple where the girl searched on bookface her exact name to see if there was anyone else out there. She found a guy around her age and messaged him and they eventually got married. But now I spoiled it for you. Google their name.
You can bond closer with someone by talking about your worst day rather than your best day.
Interactions in which we click, don't just affect the strength of our relationship with the other person, they bring out the best in us. The authors could have done a better job of expounding on how Clicking can bring out the best in us. They repeated it again in their last sentence of the book, yet I still don't know how it does, just that it does.
I think.
2nd Read Update: 4 stars still
Dang, I had read this already without realizing it! How could that be??
Wished he would have said what happened when the comedy guy, Welch, started off his skit with the terrible introduction by the MC.
His example of the two Kelly's clicking and getting married later ended up getting divorced.
The concept of shared adversity brings people together like no other. Hence, the rise of suicide and depression in cushy 1st world countries.
wellington299's review against another edition
3.0
The book tries to figure out why and/or how people "click". But something just didn't click. Many people describe this as a Gladwell-like book. Maybe more described a Gladwell-light book. Reading Gladwell, I feel like I'm onto something. Reading Brafman ... I feel like something is just beyond the corner of my eye.
I really do wish they spent more time on the hostage negotiator ... who I felt had the most fascinating story.
I do think the authors missed an important part of clicking .. the person(s) has to have the desire to click. My latest theory on connections between people ... friendships are when two people are searching for commonalities while non-friendships are when two people are seeking for differences between them. With any two people, there are lots of commonalities and differences. And it's really our choice which way to go.
It's more of a 3.5 star book.
brennadavis24's review against another edition
4.0
I listened to this book on a road trip, and it kept me engaged. It may be “pop science”, but I really enjoyed it. The book points out patterns that seem obvious once you hear them but that I hadn’t considered (i.e. groups that “click” are more creative in group projects- as a teacher, I often split up friends into different groups, maybe to their detriment?) If the premise of the book sounds interesting to you, I’d give it a try. It got me thinking about my relationships and how easily I connect, or not, with others and what conditions might be necessary for me for optimal openness to making connections.
sirchutney's review against another edition
3.0
About the book: Click delves into the miraculous topic of quick-set intimacy and explores what’s at work when we’re instantly drawn to some person or thing. It examines how and why clicking makes our life more meaningful and outlines the (very ordinary) factors that can make such “magical” connections more likely.
About the author: Together, brothers Ori and Rom Brafman have authored two New York Times bestsellers – Sway and Click. When not writing, Ori Brafman is an organizational business consultant and the co-founder of a network fostering peace and development projects. Psychologist Rom Brafman won awards for excellence in teaching and promoting positive human growth. He has a private practice in Palo Alto.
Clicking makes relationships special. clicking can lend a special quality to the relationships that it initiates
We perform better in the company of people we click with. who click are able to discuss difficult matters in a positive, constructive way
A team that clicks is also more creative and able to make unconventional, even daring decisions.
If you make yourself vulnerable to others, you're more likely to click with them. If you deliberately make yourself vulnerable by revealing your emotions, weaknesses and fears, you signal to other people that you trust them. In turn, those people will be more likely to trust you and instinctively reciprocate by making themselves vulnerable too.The openness that this promotes can lead to an intimate connection being established
Posing a series of probing and increasingly intimate questions.
When it comes to clicking, spatial proximity also plays a part. being near to someone facilitates spontaneous communication and that communication leads to bonding.
We’re more willing to connect with those who are similar to us. we tend to prefer people similar to ourselves.
Similarity bias - if you want to hit it off with someone, you should focus on your similarities or shared traits and characteristics
Final summary To improve a team’s performance, you can put them in a position where they must face a big challenge together and let them compete against another team.
About the author: Together, brothers Ori and Rom Brafman have authored two New York Times bestsellers – Sway and Click. When not writing, Ori Brafman is an organizational business consultant and the co-founder of a network fostering peace and development projects. Psychologist Rom Brafman won awards for excellence in teaching and promoting positive human growth. He has a private practice in Palo Alto.
Clicking makes relationships special. clicking can lend a special quality to the relationships that it initiates
We perform better in the company of people we click with. who click are able to discuss difficult matters in a positive, constructive way
A team that clicks is also more creative and able to make unconventional, even daring decisions.
If you make yourself vulnerable to others, you're more likely to click with them. If you deliberately make yourself vulnerable by revealing your emotions, weaknesses and fears, you signal to other people that you trust them. In turn, those people will be more likely to trust you and instinctively reciprocate by making themselves vulnerable too.The openness that this promotes can lead to an intimate connection being established
Posing a series of probing and increasingly intimate questions.
When it comes to clicking, spatial proximity also plays a part. being near to someone facilitates spontaneous communication and that communication leads to bonding.
We’re more willing to connect with those who are similar to us. we tend to prefer people similar to ourselves.
Similarity bias - if you want to hit it off with someone, you should focus on your similarities or shared traits and characteristics
Final summary To improve a team’s performance, you can put them in a position where they must face a big challenge together and let them compete against another team.
halfmanhalfbook's review against another edition
2.0
The ability of people to just get along straight away is one of those things that is a mystery that has fascinated psychologists and sociologists for years. Recent research has started to uncover the details behind those moments when we form a lifelong connection to another person. They tell their story through a series on anecdotes and examples and looks at ‘accelerators’ that will enhance these click moments. The seven accelerators are vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, environment, naturals and personal elevation. These factor strongly influence the way that people and teams with get along. One example that they gave was with a basketball team that generally failed to qualify for the NBA, but over a couple of seasons they had four players who ‘clicked’ and made the team much better than normal, even reaching the point of qualifying, but after they went their separate ways they never really achieved as much.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.