saralynnburnett's review against another edition
3.0
This book was a quick, fun read. Henry Alford is very funny and I found myself chuckling throughout. I especially enjoyed the beginning of his journey through the ins and outs of modern day manners because he went to the (as he calls it) 'Fort Knox of manners' - Japan. After this, he delves into all sorts of American social situations movie theatre "sushers," unresponsive party guests, play dates for your children, wedding invitations, vegetable trading (for real), reverse apologies, false compliments, and so on and so forth... but one area I found lacking that I wish he would have had more to say about was social media. To de-friend or not to de-friend, to block or not to block, do you point out inaccuracies on facebook or 'save face' on facebook? Or what about those friends who seem to enjoy your company when you invite them out, but yet have never once invited you out? Is that a hint, or cluelessness? Or digital family drama? - can you de-friend your uncle without causing a rift or do you sit back and let him prattle on all over your post? I would have liked more of his hilarious commentary on that end.
Anyway - it was a throughly enjoyable read though it didn't really present anything new or thought provoking - mostly a lot of laughs, which fit the bill for a lazy Sunday.
Anyway - it was a throughly enjoyable read though it didn't really present anything new or thought provoking - mostly a lot of laughs, which fit the bill for a lazy Sunday.
buntyskid's review against another edition
4.0
Hilarious. I would so love to go to NYC and have Henry Alford as a tour guide.
dja777's review against another edition
1.0
Tedious, even though I tried to cut it some slack for not being the actual etiquette guide that I thought it was when I checked it out. Finished it and almost immediately forgot it.
platinumwarlock's review against another edition
4.0
Funny, engaging, timely, and pertinent - Alford does a good job of presenting his ideas about manners in broad strokes, making them relevant to and accessible by all of us. Lots of chuckle-out-loud moments, balanced by several ideas profound yet simple. A very enjoyable read.
anngarth8's review against another edition
1.0
The book was a mix of memoir and advice, which were oddly interspersed without any clear (to me) structure. The author writes for Vanity Fair and the New Yorker and this book's tone was the worst of those -- using fancy words unnecessarily, trying too hard to be dry and witty. There were quite a few small factual inaccuracies in the service of witticisms, which annoyed me. I didn't find the memoir parts particularly illuminating. And the advice content was not helpful to me either, and in some cases it was based on the suggestion of just one person and seemed controversial.
crabbygirl's review against another edition
3.0
[guessing at the star rating / mining my old FB notes now that they are almost impossible to find]
manners are more important than laws. or at least we are more affected by these small indignities (or acts of grace if it goes the other way) than what we are or aren't allowed - legally - to do. so with that in mind, here are some mannerly things either i plan to employ:
* never lower the communication tools used, as in: don't reply to a phone call with an email, or reply to an email with a FB post. however, it is ok to go up a step
* shushing someone is louder than their actual noise, so bring a penlight to shine on the offending yacker in the movie theatre to get a quick & quiet response
* don't ask someone where they are staying when they mention travel. they might be embarrassed to admit their 'value' choice so asking which neighborhood gives you helpful information without putting their bank account on the spot
* it's ok, and even recommended, to make a list of conversation topics in advance of a party where you know few people. also, being on the receiving end of questions is fine, but you should make an effort too and inquire things of your conversation partner
* at a dinner party, it's rude to talk about any food that is not the food in front of you
* japanese toilets are chockfull of buttons: one for bidet feature, one for warming the seat, one for air drying, and even one for a flushing sound to mask embarrassing noises (ok, i don't plan to employ that one but it was interesting to learn)
i enjoyed the heavy sprinkling of humor in this book, such as when the author decides to answer the miss manners column without actually sending the replies, or when he volunteers to be a manners mentor for his FB friends (6 took him up on the offer). he also come up with a great way to get an older woman to stop wearing (and displaying) her thong by implying the grossest person they knew was defending her choice and said how he loved how 'hip, raunchy,and always up for it' she looked :)
manners are more important than laws. or at least we are more affected by these small indignities (or acts of grace if it goes the other way) than what we are or aren't allowed - legally - to do. so with that in mind, here are some mannerly things either i plan to employ:
* never lower the communication tools used, as in: don't reply to a phone call with an email, or reply to an email with a FB post. however, it is ok to go up a step
* shushing someone is louder than their actual noise, so bring a penlight to shine on the offending yacker in the movie theatre to get a quick & quiet response
* don't ask someone where they are staying when they mention travel. they might be embarrassed to admit their 'value' choice so asking which neighborhood gives you helpful information without putting their bank account on the spot
* it's ok, and even recommended, to make a list of conversation topics in advance of a party where you know few people. also, being on the receiving end of questions is fine, but you should make an effort too and inquire things of your conversation partner
* at a dinner party, it's rude to talk about any food that is not the food in front of you
* japanese toilets are chockfull of buttons: one for bidet feature, one for warming the seat, one for air drying, and even one for a flushing sound to mask embarrassing noises (ok, i don't plan to employ that one but it was interesting to learn)
i enjoyed the heavy sprinkling of humor in this book, such as when the author decides to answer the miss manners column without actually sending the replies, or when he volunteers to be a manners mentor for his FB friends (6 took him up on the offer). he also come up with a great way to get an older woman to stop wearing (and displaying) her thong by implying the grossest person they knew was defending her choice and said how he loved how 'hip, raunchy,and always up for it' she looked :)
heather01602to60660's review against another edition
2.0
This was hard to rate - I *enjoyed* the book, but wouldn't recommend it, at least within its own genre. I don't know if the author even knows what this book was meant to be - was it a book *about* manners as a topic, was it an etiquette book giving hints on how to behave, was it a series of (admittedly often amusing) essays? I sure couldn't tell you.
At times, there were great moments in reading, and then at times I'd get to the end of a chapter and still not sure what the topic of said chapter was. (The cutesy chapter titles were little more than that - cutesy.)
I would enjoy speaking with Mr. Alford at a social gathering - he is quite witty and made me laugh out loud a few times while reading. However, I would not recommend him as an expert on manners based on this particular book.
At times, there were great moments in reading, and then at times I'd get to the end of a chapter and still not sure what the topic of said chapter was. (The cutesy chapter titles were little more than that - cutesy.)
I would enjoy speaking with Mr. Alford at a social gathering - he is quite witty and made me laugh out loud a few times while reading. However, I would not recommend him as an expert on manners based on this particular book.
sarahfett's review against another edition
3.0
I was expecting a modern take on the traditional manners rule books that I admit I enjoy reading, but this is actually more of a memoir of the author's quest to explore manners in our modern world. Since I was expecting a very orderly book, the scattered nature of this book wore on me.
mhall's review against another edition
3.0
Charming guy, similar to David Sedaris, which is not faint praise. But this is a cursory, haphazard, hit-or-miss look at the topic of etiquette. Although, really, how awesome and great is an etiquette guide that heaps praise on Dolly Parton for responding to people ogling her by smothering them with her chest?