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Reviews tagging 'Sexual harassment'
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell
21 reviews
rdesanto's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
This was a difficult read because of the challenging topics presented. However, it was most insightful and tactfully presented in line with all his other books. I will definitely be reflecting on the information presented for a long time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia and Sexual assault
Moderate: Sexual assault, Murder, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Police brutality
laurennicolpies's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
3.0
very interesting and a fast read for me but i can’t help but feel uncomfortable with some of the victim blaming sentiments i got from certain passages, specifically in the brock turner r*pe case and the penn state p*do and molestation chapters. i liked the overall sentiment of not assuming things about other people and really enjoyed the discussion about coupling in regards to s*icides, but some conclusions he drew made me uncomfortable and frankly a little angry.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Murder, and Sexual harassment
antireading's review against another edition
1.25
I feel as though Gladwell ignores other factors to the discussions he brings up, most especially race, gender, and their intersections. He drills down everything to miscommunication but doesn't bring up the fact that many are predisposed to not wanting to be truthful in communication with women, with Black people, etc. It is not JUST because of policing practices that Black people get pulled over, but it is because of a bias against them and the communities that are over-policed. It felt like he was oversimplifying a lot.
The section on Jerry Sandusky and Brock Turner was gross. He treated CIA operatives who invented torture tactics with more care than victims of rape. He seemed to outright disbelieve the victims of Sandusky and chalk up Turner's rape to a "miscommunication" due to alcohol. He calls most sexual harassment on college campuses miscommunications due to alcohol and hazy rules of consent, while also acknowledging that 1 in 5 female college students report being sexually harassed. He also says the problem is equally with the men raping and the alcohol. Alcohol is a large chunk of the book for no apparent reason as it doesn't tie into the main Sandra Bland storyline like other issues do at the end. I wasn't interested in hearing excuses for a man raping an unconscious woman, but apparently, women should have known better.
The medium of an audiobook was interesting as Gladwell aimed to make it a high-quality podcast. That fell short when I had issues understanding snippets of the audio from various types of recording equipment, age of recordings, accents, and speeds of talking. I found myself just drowning out those snippets, especially when listening in the car, as the jumpiness of quality was too distracting. I feel like the description, while it technically does describe what happened, didn't really feel like the book as I was getting into it. It was very much interconnected stories but I thought those points would be briefly brought up, not dedicating whole chapters to it.
The section on Jerry Sandusky and Brock Turner was gross. He treated CIA operatives who invented torture tactics with more care than victims of rape. He seemed to outright disbelieve the victims of Sandusky and chalk up Turner's rape to a "miscommunication" due to alcohol. He calls most sexual harassment on college campuses miscommunications due to alcohol and hazy rules of consent, while also acknowledging that 1 in 5 female college students report being sexually harassed. He also says the problem is equally with the men raping and the alcohol. Alcohol is a large chunk of the book for no apparent reason as it doesn't tie into the main Sandra Bland storyline like other issues do at the end. I wasn't interested in hearing excuses for a man raping an unconscious woman, but apparently, women should have known better.
The medium of an audiobook was interesting as Gladwell aimed to make it a high-quality podcast. That fell short when I had issues understanding snippets of the audio from various types of recording equipment, age of recordings, accents, and speeds of talking. I found myself just drowning out those snippets, especially when listening in the car, as the jumpiness of quality was too distracting. I feel like the description, while it technically does describe what happened, didn't really feel like the book as I was getting into it. It was very much interconnected stories but I thought those points would be briefly brought up, not dedicating whole chapters to it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Genocide, Gun violence, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, War, and Classism
Minor: Child death and Vomit
mmestitches's review against another edition
0.25
Irresponsible at best. I feel like the point of this book was to humanize how people make terrible mistakes, but ultimately it reinforced the idea that keeping people with power emotionally comfortable is more important than protecting the lives of people without power.
I normally love Malcom Gladwell's work but this book was irresponsible as hell in how it discussed some high profile cases about sexual predators. He draws a parallel between victims of CSA being unable to understand they're being abused and grown ass adults allowing kids being raped as a result of their inability to handle some cognitive dissonance. I see this pattern of making victims of child abuse equally responsible to the adults committing or enabling the abuse, and it makes me want to scream. Gladwell went as far as to play a clip of a victim crying and pleading with her abuser to recognize the hurt he caused, and the purpose of this clip is to show how murky the facts can get in these cases as opposed to being used as a classic example of how a groomed and abused child grows into an adult who feels responsible for healing the person that abused them. These responses are not murky, they are well researched and understood, but holding people accountable for their actions is hard so Gladwell took a lazy, victim blaming approach. How disappointing.
I normally love Malcom Gladwell's work but this book was irresponsible as hell in how it discussed some high profile cases about sexual predators. He draws a parallel between victims of CSA being unable to understand they're being abused and grown ass adults allowing kids being raped as a result of their inability to handle some cognitive dissonance. I see this pattern of making victims of child abuse equally responsible to the adults committing or enabling the abuse, and it makes me want to scream. Gladwell went as far as to play a clip of a victim crying and pleading with her abuser to recognize the hurt he caused, and the purpose of this clip is to show how murky the facts can get in these cases as opposed to being used as a classic example of how a groomed and abused child grows into an adult who feels responsible for healing the person that abused them. These responses are not murky, they are well researched and understood, but holding people accountable for their actions is hard so Gladwell took a lazy, victim blaming approach. How disappointing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Police brutality, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Not worth reading, spare yourselfhundhemm's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
1.5
The text is well written, but sources are unreliable.
Content Warnings
Minor: Child abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Suicide, Murder, and Sexual harassment
sidekicksam's review against another edition
2.25
A re-read of a book I read back in 2020, after the pandemic caused both a lot of isolation and division. People were literally keeping their distance, interacting less with strangers, but the summer of '20 also had some very painful revelations and awakenings for the race and equality discussions.
Reading it again, I feel refreshed in the theories he outlines in the book. The 3 problems we have when encountering strangers (defaulting to the assumption that people can be trusted; thinking people's feelings always match their appearance and our inability to judge correctly whether someone is lying or the mismatch is happening; and that context is vital but also underappreciated) are a few that kept me curious, thinking and will stay with me in the back of my mind in encounters with strangers. Interesting food for thought and definitely contemplations that will stay with me.
That being said, I am uneasy with some of the examples Gladwell decided to explore to prove his points. I already had some question marks during my re-read, but after reading multiple 1-star reviews (which have gained 1,000+ likes) on the first page, I'm seriously reconsidering whether this book is good enough to be read on its own (without the accompanying guide/reviews to also challenge the examples given).
To use cases of rape and child molestation and trying to explain away the motives of witnesses or even instigators of the crimes is just... what? Why would you invalidate experiences of trauma instead of exploring the faulty assumptions on which we make errors (the cases of the Cuban spies in the CIA were much more compelling I think).
Example: Brock Turner raping a passed out drunk girl on campus is explained away by their (mutual) excessive drinking and misinterpeted signals - I have never had to explain to any of my boyfriends that no means no (and that if I don't wake up or respond that is also a big fucking NO).
Not taking the prejudice of race into consideration when discussing Sandra Bland's case, but explaining it away to miscommunication... especially with police brutality against Black people blowing up in the media in recent years, it's just harrowing.
I'm happy I don't just read books but also review them, because I may not have gotten further in my evaluation than 'whoo interesting material' without re-evaluating also the icky (and blatantly wrong) bits.
Read it at your own volition, but do heed my warning.
Reading it again, I feel refreshed in the theories he outlines in the book. The 3 problems we have when encountering strangers (defaulting to the assumption that people can be trusted; thinking people's feelings always match their appearance and our inability to judge correctly whether someone is lying or the mismatch is happening; and that context is vital but also underappreciated) are a few that kept me curious, thinking and will stay with me in the back of my mind in encounters with strangers. Interesting food for thought and definitely contemplations that will stay with me.
That being said, I am uneasy with some of the examples Gladwell decided to explore to prove his points. I already had some question marks during my re-read, but after reading multiple 1-star reviews (which have gained 1,000+ likes) on the first page, I'm seriously reconsidering whether this book is good enough to be read on its own (without the accompanying guide/reviews to also challenge the examples given).
To use cases of rape and child molestation and trying to explain away the motives of witnesses or even instigators of the crimes is just... what? Why would you invalidate experiences of trauma instead of exploring the faulty assumptions on which we make errors (the cases of the Cuban spies in the CIA were much more compelling I think).
Example: Brock Turner raping a passed out drunk girl on campus is explained away by their (mutual) excessive drinking and misinterpeted signals - I have never had to explain to any of my boyfriends that no means no (and that if I don't wake up or respond that is also a big fucking NO).
Not taking the prejudice of race into consideration when discussing Sandra Bland's case, but explaining it away to miscommunication... especially with police brutality against Black people blowing up in the media in recent years, it's just harrowing.
I'm happy I don't just read books but also review them, because I may not have gotten further in my evaluation than 'whoo interesting material' without re-evaluating also the icky (and blatantly wrong) bits.
Read it at your own volition, but do heed my warning.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Torture, Police brutality, Murder, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and War
bjdarby's review against another edition
slow-paced
1.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, Police brutality, and Sexual harassment
madelynmonet's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
2.0
I wanted to like this book but was overall disappointed. It was heavier than I expected it to be and I found myself more frustrated at the analytical storytelling to horrific things than learning or understanding the actual analysis. In my humble opinion, quite literally any of his other books are better.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
berksah's review against another edition
4.0
First Gladwell book. Nicely written and engaging, different from what I thought it would be. Many CWs, while not in his writing or ideas, but in examples and case studies
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Suicide, Torture, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Murder, and Sexual harassment
chloethonus's review against another edition
informative
sad
medium-paced
1.25
Misleading title and incredibly clumsy execution. I like Gladwell typically but this book just reads as being willfully incompetent. If the book started in the direction of "this language barrier upon the Spaniards meeting the Aztecs created a misunderstanding repeated even in common history" I could maybe understand it and would be interested in reading about miscommunications in history. But instead we get blaming people killed by the police as "not knowing how to talk to strangers", a man raping a woman as "misreading cues because he was drunk". I genuinely cannot believe any positive reviews are actually buying this pseudopsychology built on a foundation less stable than sand. Any jab at critical thinking makes these concepts of "bad things happen because we suck at social skills" deflate like a sad balloon. Cannot believe I actually wasted my time trying to search for any ounce of a good point.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gun violence, Pedophilia, Rape, Violence, and Police brutality
Moderate: Racism, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Sexual harassment