Reviews tagging 'Addiction'

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer

20 reviews

candlewaster's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective slow-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

nstew16's review against another edition

challenging hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

Very accessible. At times it felt almost too casual for me, but I think that is part of the success of the book. It can reach a variety of people and acts as an open ended conversation between reader/author.

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Content Warnings

Minor: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Abortion

aburns2's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment

randeerebecca's review against another edition

informative reflective slow-paced

1.0

This book basically feels like the author is being an apologist for “monstrous” behavior without coming right out and saying it because she’s a self-proclaimed feminist. I see her feminism, but I think it’s very simplistic and minimally intersectional. She starts the book off by arguing that use of the word “monster” for men who are abusers (i.e. Harvey Weinstein, Roman Polanski, Bill Cosby, etc.) is so that as individuals, we don’t need to acknowledge our own potential for those kinds of behaviors. Which is an interesting perspective, but also a flimsy excuse. At times, it seemed like the author was arguing this point simply to make herself feel better about continuing to consume art when she felt guilty doing so because of the creator’s crimes and behaviors. She also goes on to blame the internet because now people have to know that their beloved cultural icons have done horrible things - it seems to me she’d rather live in ignorance? There’s a simple solution, of course. The author personally does not have to engage with social media, the very thing she blames.

There were a few bits that really felt yucky to me:

• criticizing queer kids’ use of tumblr for “unbodied connection” with fandoms. Tell me you’re not queer without telling me? This is so ignorant of how isolating it can be to exist as queer, especially in small communities, and how important it can be to connect with others like you over something meaningful. But it’s wild because she later talks about being a weird kid needing connection and she got that from David Bowie music and fans? So she clearly understands the need, but maybe not the context.
• Listed men who have been found to be abusive and pedophilic as examples of cultural “monsters,” and THEN followed that by listing women who had mental health problems and said “does self harm count?”
• On Picasso’s abusive behavior towards women: “Picasso is the victim of, the servant to, his own impulses.”
• Implied that the reason society went after Woody Allen and Roman Polanski for their pedophilia is because they are Jewish and our society is anti-Semitic… not because they assaulted children or anything…
• Sylvia Plath is included in this book on cultural “monsters” because her suicide was a “violent act” against patriarchy, supposedly. The reality is that she was clinically depressed in the midst of heartbreak. The author does state that Plath was not a monster, so why is she even included in this discussion?
• She conflates recovery from addiction to someone needing support for their “monstrous” behavior (i.e. pedophilia, abuse, violence)

The message at the end, summed up: we’re all monsters and all victims and what we do doesn’t make a difference anyway, so consume the media created by perpetrators 👎🏻

I will give her this: she made a point to say that memoir should be description and not prescription, meaning she doesn’t feel a person’s views espoused in their memoir(s) should automatically be taken as life advice by readers. Which is good, because I certainly won’t with hers.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Suicide, Antisemitism, and Abandonment

claraarianne's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective tense medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Antisemitism, and Sexual harassment

dinocraniac's review against another edition

challenging dark informative sad medium-paced

4.0

Book with a topic made for me! Separating the art from the artist has always been such a struggle for me. Dederer's book was so captivating and most of the time I didn't want to stop reading. However, there were parts that were incredibly uncomfy to read. Such a jarring and horrifying opening to the book. Like actually an insane way to open a book. And the whole chapter about Lolita. Ending was a bit weak as well, at least the second to last chapter. Throughout the book it annoyed me how she kept saying "we", only to be like "not we, I". She would correct herself and then keep doing it like please get your shit together. But anyway. Overall a really good book, highly reccomend.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, and Suicide

nexusgoblin's review against another edition

informative reflective medium-paced

3.5

If you're going into this looking for an answer on how to deal with the monsters in our media, you won't find one. This is very much a personal look at how the author views and deals with it, and how as a collective it's not an easy answer to form. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcoholism, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexism, and Sexual assault

Minor: Addiction

hduc's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This book deals with monstrous people. Of course there will be disturbing stories. But fear not, take one or two pages at a time. You would come out of this book a heart lighter.

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Content Warnings

Minor: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Genocide, Hate crime, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and War

mirandaleighhhh's review against another edition

medium-paced

1.5

Upon discovering this I was really intrigued - the question of ethics and morality in separating the art from the artist is one I spend a lot of time thinking about. However- and people have gone more in depth with their review than I have the energy for after spending 10 hours listening to the author ponder this- this is unorganized and messy and upon reflection, this being a memoir is confusing and ultimately weakens a lot of the point. Because it’s trying to answer one overarching question, it dangerously compares “monsters” who an*lly r*pe 10 year olds to alcoholics? or women who “abandon” their children? (give them up for adoption or who work?)

It’s not that nothing ever made sense- she had a lot of takes that I agreed with - but honestly and truly this ended up reading like a woman who still has a lot of guilt and who has healing to do over her own life's actions. There is a lot of projection even and most especially when she is explicitly trying not to. There’s a lot of white woman guilt too it seems.

Most of all I hated her emphasis on peoples bad deeds creating a “stain” on their past and future actions…and there was a fucked up sentence regarding Michael Jackson when she first presented this concept…but anyway, the whole stain thing made her comparisons even more wild. Sylvia Plath’s suicide (her stain) and Woody Allen’s abuse of woman (his stain) are two completely different things.

And then she ends everything with mentioning how there are “monsters” in our lives that we still love. Like yes but…arent we talking about artists we don’t personally know and never will? So why are you ending it with “its all love yall” ???

I think this is a nuanced topic with lots to be said, and she says some of it, but her zooming in and out and in and out without thoughtful connection irritated me. She also doesn’t really discuss the question of platforming or financially supporting (ie buying merchandise or making the person money) a “monster” who is very much alive, which I think is an important piece of this whole fucking thing! 

I cannot recommend this, especially the audio, and I can see how this would trigger a lot of people.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Rape, and Abandonment

dubtronius15's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

3.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Racism, and Rape